The Simple Fox

To sum it all up… I need to find new routines to get back to a time where I felt more comfortable.

With the return of sunshine and warmer weather my motivation has seemed to return. I went from almost taking a nap to getting a lot done. I was able to almost finish painting two of the three corner shelves I have been working on, mowing the lawn, doing the dishes and vacuuming my car. It's been a couple weeks since I have been this productive in a day. Now it's off to work. I could only imagine what I could have done if I was off today.

I’m getting to this blog a little late today, but as they say “better late than never”.  Today was not as productive as it could have been.  It’s all good though.  I spent most the day relaxing.  The only thing I did today was buy a cheap laptop to use until I can get a desk top computer.  I was gonna hold off on buying a computer until I could get the desk top, but I’m not sure when that will be.  So that was what took up most of my day.  It was spent setting up the laptop.  That's it for today.

It's crummy out! Today has been a busy day. I woke up at 5:30am kinda hurting from being tired. It could have been worse though. I dropped Christopher off at school, went to Dawn's Doctor appointment for Kayla and then went to take my grandparents trash cans out. Surprisingly as crappy as it is outside I'm in a good mood today. That doesn't usually happen with this weather, but I will take it. I hope it continues through my work day. I'm looking forward to staying up and relaxing after work tonight. I don't really have any updates on anything else today. I could keep going with random stuff on my mind, but I'm not going to. I am just gonna end this now and try and catch up with some newspapers so I can get rid of them. Talk to y'all later!

Generally I consider myself pretty self motivated. I have ideas of things I want to get done, I set goals I want to reach, and I keep trying until I either reach them or I realize that it's not attainable without altering my life to a point I don't want to. I have had this idea and goal for years now. This is an attainable goal that does not interfere with my current life, but I have yet to succeed at it. I want to write a book. It doesn't even have to be sold in stores. I'm ok with it being an Ebook. I don't even care about the profit side of it. I would like people to buy it, but that is not my main goal. This has never been about writing it for someone else. It's been about me completing something that I have wanted to do. It would be great if other people found interest in it and it made a side income, but that's not the point. The only reason I could see pushing it to that level would be to show myself that I did it. However I have had issues of over the years. I count at least 3 times I have started to write a book and then either talked myself out of it or decided that topic wasn't right. So now as of today I am in the same situation unable to decide on a topic and stick with it. The difference is it has been a goal that lately is in my head that I need to accomplish. Even if it takes me a year to finish. Which it probably would because I can't seem to find myself in a writing mood.

This past week has been rough and this week doesn't seem much better. Between Christopher being off from school and me having to work 2 overnight shifts in the last 5 days I'm a bit screwed up. I haven't had time to do anything. What free time I have had has been spent either sleeping or doing things with Christopher. Mentally I am drained and need to get back to some sort of normal routine where I at least have time to sit outside and get work done around the house. I'm just watching the lawn grow and trying to figure out when I can mow it. Friday seems to be the only day. Unless I feel up to it after my dentist appointment Thursday. I am wondering if this rain is not helping. I just want this week to be over. On the bright side I at least know what day it is today. That's my rant for today. Sorry it's not very uplifting.

April 21, 2016 There is always this need for stuff to get done. Almost to the point where I feel guilty sitting down at times. I accept that there are only 24 hours in a day and that some of it has to be spent sleeping, but I feel that my time awake should be spent being productive. Today has been and is continuing to be cleaning/laundry day. I might put together a piece of furniture later as well. It's almost like I'm racing a clock. Tomorrow I am taking Christopher to the zoo. I was gonna take him to Mystic, but he chose the zoo instead. Yesterday was a wash since I worked the overnight the night before. I was up close to 30 hours before sleep and then only slept for 5 hours so I wasn't in the right mind yesterday to do anything when I was awake. That would be the reason I did not write yesterday. That is it for today. I don't really have anything interesting going on. I have just been hanging out with Christopher and getting stuff done. Talk you you all tomorrow.

What makes people do the things they do? What guides their thoughts and actions? My mind often feels like a carnival ride. I bounce between topics never focusing on one thing, but always moving forward. Piece by piece I come to a conclusion and make decisions. That is most of the time, but every once in awhile I will have a moment of clarity. It's like an overwhelming joy for a few moments. A feeling of determination to gain more success out of life. It's at this time I feel I have every opportunity to obtain more out of life. I believe what makes people do the things they do comes from those moments of clarity. Minus the stupid decisions of course. If you take any aspect of your life and just sit somewhere quiet. Try and focus on that area you will discover every underlying feeling you have on that area. This I believe is the point where you make the decisions that can make the most purposeful changes in your life. That's my thoughts for today. I need to take Christopher to his grandparents now. Talk to you soon.

There is absolutely nothing new today. I haven't done anything other than sit outside and eat lunch. The calm is coming to an end soon though. I have to get ready to go to work soon. I made some progress on putting together a glider for the patio last night. It's not completely done but I would say about 90%. I'm not sure on the remaining part though. It doesn't seem to be lining up right and I can't tell if it is because of the quality of it or if there is a trick to it. Christopher starts vacation tomorrow so I'm in for a tiring week. I need to try and figure out what to do with him on Thursday and Friday. It's a good thing I have the rest of the week to think of something. That's it for today. I really have nothing else going on so I will talk to you all tomorrow.

4/16/16- I have been missing from here for awhile. There isn't really a good excuse except that I have been preoccupied with other things. Life is obviously busy with work, Doctor appointments for Dawn, and just general life issues. It hasn't left me in the right mindset to write. Dawn and I had our second anniversary this past week. It was a good day in the sense that we were able to spend it together. We went to lunch together at Lenny & Joes (seafood restaurant) of course there is other stuff there since I'm not a big fan of seafood. After lunch we took a tour of the hospital in preparation for the arrival of Kayla in 13 weeks. That wasn't particularly fun, but we gained some insight on what to expect while there. Then it was dinner at Dawn's parents. They made us a cake which was good. Yesterday I spent most the day at my parents other than mowing the lawn. It was nice seeing them. I don't get to spend a lot of time with them. I ate lunch with my parents and my nephew Aidan. Then when I picked Christopher up from school and brought him over there. He doesn't see them a lot. All and all it was a good day. There are probably a lot of other life things that have happened, but they aren't that memorable. So for today that's it. Talk to everyone later.

It's been a couple of days since I last wrote. I thought I was gonna get stuck at work last night so after I brought Christopher to school and I went back to bed. Luckily I didn't get stuck. There is a lot going on this week. Yesterday the school had a 2 hour delay and I had to bring Christopher to the dentist. Today and Friday are the only mornings I have free. Tomorrow I have the lawnmower that was purchased being delivered. Kinda funny since it snowed yesterday, but it is April so it needed to be bought. On Thursday there is a doctors appointment bright and early for the baby. Not sure if I'm gonna get up at 5:30am or not. I like to stay up a little later on nights off to give myself some normalcy or at least the feeling of it. If I get up at 5:30am on Thursday its gonna be a rough morning on Friday. I wasn't able to do much today. I went out and bought some stamps and printer paper. Then went to Aldi's to look at something my grandmother wanted me to see. Other than that I adjusted my budget to try and pay off the lawnmower quicker and I'm getting ready for work in a few minutes. I feel like I could use more time to do stuff. I'm thinking Friday since Dawn's mother is picking Christopher up from school and he is staying the night there I might be able to accomplish more. I need to make a list.

It's 12:40am right now. Ordinarily you wouldn't hear me saying its late. For years I have worked mainly 2nd shift with some occasional 3rd shifts in there and even fewer 1st shifts. Lately I have been getting up at 5:30am on some days and today was one of those days. So yes I am tired, but I am fighting it for now. I am still adjusting to this. So I am trying to find a balance. Anyone who has worked 2nd shift knows coming home and having to go right to sleep sucks. However, obviously life circumstances require it at times. This is why on certain nights I take the opportunity to stay up later. This occurs mainly on weekend nights. The problem I'm having now is that I am throwing the 5:30am wake up on certain days. I have a job that doesn't always guarantee I get to come home after 8 hours. Quite frequently I run the risk of having to work 16 hours. If I wake up at 5:30am and then go to work and get stuck for an extra shift that means I won't get to sleep till after I have been awake 25 hours. If I make a habit of going to bed before midnight on nights off I will be tired before I get out of work. Not to mention my body is already not use to being up late most nights. This poses a problem for me if I do get stuck an extra shift. I'm exhausted by 2-3am. Basically I'm trying to find a balance that is not gonna leave me miserable and feeling like all I'm doing is working, sleeping and getting up early. On this note I'm going to bed. Talk to you all later.

Typically I don't stray to far from the stuff I am use to. I like to keep to routines and eating at the same places. I decided today to try a new place for lunch. Well at least it was new to me. I was not disappointed at all. When reading the paper the other day I saw an ad for Vinny's Deli in Wallingford, CT so I decided to give it a try. It was worth every penny!! I can definitely see myself going back there again soon. Plus they even have Chef Salad which I was craving the other day. Other than that today was mostly relaxing. I dropped Christopher off at school and went to return some water bottles. Then went to Lowes for some tools and sand paper. After that I went and bought a lawnmower which is gonna be delivered on Wednesday. The rest of the day has been at home. I'm looking forward to the Chili that Dawn has had cooking in the slow cooker all day. Not much else going on so I'm gonna end this blog now. Talk to you all later!

I watch a lot of YouTube videos. A lot might even be an understatement. If you asked my wife she would probably tell you I don't put my iPad down. Most of what I watch are people's Vlogs or motivational videos, but I also tend to watch stuff that teaches me stuff. I don't ever want to stop learning. Well in a video I started to watch about re-wiring mindset I learned that the average human loses attention 6-8 times a minute. I had to laugh at that because I am pretty sure I lose attention a lot more than that in a minute. Not when people are talking to me, but when I'm thinking. I think this contributes to why I forget to do things, or what someone tells me. I seriously use my phone calendar to set reminders for important things, because I know there is a possibility I'm going to forget if I don't. This is probably the reason why I say I want to do things and then either never do them or wait months before doing it. I would feel bad for someone if they were stuck in my head. They would probably come out needing medication. At which point they would probably feel bad for me. Now if I managed my thoughts better I would most likely be more productive, but I haven't mastered that yet and I'm 36 years old. If I would just write down half the stuff I am almost certain I would have some pretty damn good ideas. I believe everyone has things they excel at and I believe somewhere in my head I'm missing something. Not a part, but a thought, a vision or maybe even that Aha moment. I should probably work on this. Though I'm sure I will forget this by tonight. Well that's my story. I was gonna call it my rant, but I'm not mad or frustrated so I don't think it qualifies. Till next time.

Ok so I know I said I need to be in a pattern of getting up earlier, but it's easier said than done. This morning Dawn once again did me a favor of alerting me to my alarm. At this time I thought I turned off the alarm but really only hit the snooze. I took one leg out of the blanket and hung it over the edge of the bed for a second and then proceeded to put it back in bed. Now it's not that I was to tired to get up. In all reality I felt much better than most mornings. It was a series of thoughts in my head. Like what am I gonna do this early in the morning and do I really want to be tired all day. So my thoughts won and I climbed back under the blankets. I really want to be productive, but I can't do the stuff that I need or want to do that early in the morning. I felt bad for Dawn this morning because my alarm woke my poor pregnant wife up like 40 minutes earlier than she gets up. It's easier on days I know I have to get up early for something. I want to be a morning person, but working second shift makes that really hard on me. When I did get up at about 10:20am it took me a little while to do something. I knew I had to accomplish something but didn't know what I was going to do. I finally decided it was time to get the fence posts. So that was my big accomplishment of the day. Now I just need to talk to the neighbor and see when he wants to work on putting the fence back up and see if he agrees with my idea of using quickcrete (not sure I spelled that right) to stabilize the posts. Well off to do the dishes in a minute. I have been dreading them since I saw them in the sink. As always have a great day and talk to you soon.

Hey guys! Today was day one of my new experimental wake up time. I'm pretty sure I have mentioned this before but in case you missed it I will say it again. I am not a morning person at all. The other day when I mentioned I needed to change some stuff I decided I was going to try and start waking up at 5:30am. There are a few reasons for this decision. The big reason is that for some reason it hurts waking up at 6:45am more than waking up at 5:30am. The second reason is that with the weather getting warmer I want to be able to go out on the deck in the morning and getting up at 6:45am doesn't give me the time to do that. By the time I shower and get ready it's time to take Christopher to school. The third reason is I will get to see Dawn longer before she goes to work. There are some downsides I am noticing so far. To start with its only 1pm and I'm exhausted. I haven't even gone to work yet and I know it's gonna hit me harder later. The next potential downside could hit me tomorrow or the next day. It's possible that going to bed at midnight and getting up at 5:30am may catch up with me. Or maybe I get use to it if I stick to that schedule. I just don't know. Today was a day of doing some shopping. Not because I wanted to spend money, but because I needed stuff. The other night my iPad case finally bit the dust. It was falling apart at the seams! So I went and bought a new one. Of course I can't just buy any cheap case because I would end up back in a store in a month or two. So I bought the Taj Mahal of cases. I bought a $60 Otter Box. It feels like I could throw this iPad off a roof and it would be fine. I'm not gonna try it though. I also needed a car charger for my phone so I bought that as well. Oh and a small dry erase board to incorporate into Vlogs eventually. The last thing I bought was breakfast. I worked up such a hunger shopping I figured why stop there. So I bought Taco Bell. I looked at a desk top computer, but I haven't caved in and bought it yet. It's coming though! Well that's it for today. Hope you are all having a wonderful day! Talk to you all later!

Today is obviously Easter considering the title of this post. I have always liked Easter because it's a holiday where families get together. The good meal doesn't hurt either! Usually we would go to the grandparents house, but this year was at my parents house. I'm glad they had us all over, because I know they really enjoy spending time with the family. I'm thankful to spend time with Dawn and Christopher everyday of the year, but holidays with them are that much more important to me. Holidays hold so many childhood memories to me and I want Christopher to grow up remembering all the time with family on holidays. While I had to work today and much rather have been with Dawn and Christopher at the in-laws I know that I have to work. I understand that their are many people who didn't get to spend anytime with family. They are away in other states, countries or they just don't have anyone to be with. I try to not take what I have for granted. Even the few hours I was able to spend with my family. I am ok with working holidays, but it never gets easier to leave Dawn and Christopher. I hope everyone has a safe and Happy Easter! Talk to you soon!