First Protector - post-power loss Ichigo struggles with the pain of massive soul injury and hollow instincts that no longer have a proper outlet/focus. Urahara slides in and helps save the day. Fem!Ichigo, UraIchi - Now Live On AO3 

Turn Back The Clock - post war OP!Fem!Ichigo goes a century plus back in time to nip Aizen’s schemes in the bud and to aggressively woo a younger Urahara. - Now Live On AO3

Am Strawberry: Will Travel - post-war Ichigo who realizes that he has no reason to stay in Karaura now that everyone else has left him behind. But, unbeknownst to him, a few weeks after he heads out a certain blue haired feline shows up looking for him. And when Grimmjow finds out that no one knows where the deathberry is?  Well he just keeps looking and he has no plans to stop until he gets who and what he wants.

Strawberry Mochi Means I Love You - Urahara Kisuke’s been in love with Ichigo for a long time but hasn’t done anything about it.  But now he’s got his mind set on wooing Ichigo before he loses him.  Meanwhile Ichigo, who has been dating Kisuke for a while now, is exasperated but fond.

Invisible Asshole Cat Boyfriend - Pissed and over the fact that the majority of his friends have decided he’s worthless without his powers Ichigo moves out of the clinic and into his own place.  A place that he rapidly becomes convinced might be actually haunted.  Come to find out it very much is haunted, just not by any old ghost.  Ichigo apparently has enough spiritual power left and/or returning that he can feel his ghost roommate if not see or hear them yet. Things spiral from there and Ichigo has to adapt to living with 6 plus feet of territorial, possessive, handsy, invisible cat arrancar. And, somewhere along the way, he might just fall in love.

Arrancar Ichigo - Ichigo dies sometime pre-canon and becomes a hollow. Aizen finds him and turns him into an arrancar not realizing just what he’s getting himself into.  Because even as a hollow and then an arrancar Ichigo is still very much Ichigo.

Home Is Where You Hang Your Heart - post-war Ichigo is unable to leave Karakura due to a decree from Seireitei.  Kisuke, unwilling to let Ichigo waste away in his tiny apartment, offers the Shouten as a new home.  Together they fall into a strange sort of domestic bliss and, eventually, in love. - Now Live On AO3

Catnip And Courtship - Yoruichi teaches Ichigo to transform into a cat but something goes wrong and Ichigo isn’t able to fully regain his human form.  Hi-jinks ensue.

Zangetsu Goes A Courting - Ichigo achieves true balance with his zanpaktou and is then blindsided by the fact that Zangetsu, apparently, has a bit of a crush on Benihime. Which would be strange but fine if Ichigo wasn’t nursing a crush of his own on Urahara Kisuke.

Strawberries and Sakura Petals - Fem!Ichigo is unable to return to her body or her human life after the wars.  But instead of joining the Gotei 13 or staying in Seireitei she strikes out for the furthest districts of Rukongai. Years later she returns as a representative of the outer districts and Byakuya is undone. 

If You Give An Arrancar A Cookie - Comedy/Crack where Urahara figures out how to fix hollow holes in the arrancar and discovers that food will win their undying loyalty. Ichigo basically becomes a housewife/mom/master chef in order to keep his family small army of arrancar fed and happy.

Better Be Mine - Yandere!Urahara who tends to jump from obsession to obsession because his level of devotion never seems to be returned.  Right up until he runs into Ichigo.

Maybe The Real Poltergeists Were The Friends You Made - Comedy/Crack where the Shinigami Gang aren’t allowed to speak to Ichigo by order of Yamamoto so, with Urahara’s help, they pass notes instead. Only all the notes manifest like classic horror/ghost story shenanigans.

In From The Cold - Ichigo, living in the outer reaches of Rukongai, finds and takes in wounded Onmitsukido agent Kisuke. - Now Live On AO3

Ready Made Family - Unwilling to allow Isshin to turn his more abusive attentions towards Karin or Yuzu, Ichigo forces him out of their home and out of their life.  Left to raise the twins alone Ichigo presses forward until the day a strange and powerful man stumbles into their lives and decides to stay.

Byakuya Style -   Ichigo does everything possible to eke out a life for the twins in Rukongai, including fighting hollows despite never attending the Academy.  One day Ichigo runs into Kuchiki Byakuya himself who, upon seeing Ichigo’s obvious adoration for the twins, falls head over heels into a possessive sort of love.

Grimmjow Style - Bored and lonely, a irritated Grimmjow ends up in Karakura town where he stumbles upon a surprisingly powerful and shockingly human Ichigo struggling to raise and protect Karin and Yuzu all alone.  Grimmjow sees that love and devotion and loyalty and he wants.

Urahara Style - Urahara comes face to face with powerful, no nonsense Kurosaki Ichigo out in Rukongai and immediately decides that the only acceptable path for their acquaintance is one that leads directly to the altar.

Aizen Style - Bored, lonely, and struggling to repress a rising tide of darker thoughts Aizen goes out for a walk in the further reaches of Rukongai.  Only to come face to face with Kurosaki Ichigo who takes one look at him and sees directly through his carefully constructed mask. Sosuke is riveted.

Kyoraku Style - Busy trying to make a life for the twins and determined to not be roped into the Shinigami lifestyle, Ichigo has done her best to stay off the radar.  But a confrontation with a rude Shinigami leads Ichigo into the exact situation she’s been trying so desperately to avoid.  Now the new Kenpachi of the 11th Division, Ichigo has a lot to deal with without adding in the notorious womanizer Shunsui Kyoraku’s ridiculous flirting to it.

A Berry And A Baby - Powerless and lonely, Ichigo wishes for an unconditional love that doesn’t depend on his ability to fight and bleed.  The Hōgyoku, fascinated by the care and protection Ichigo has always so readily handed out, answers that wish.  Meanwhile Urahara gets some readings that are too unusual to ignore. - Now Live On AO3

That Strawberry Sugar High - Sugar Daddy Kisuke to an over-worked and over-stressed Ichigo. - Now Live On AO3

Hitmen In Love - Yakuza Hitman Kisuke meets free lance hitman Ichigo and sparks (as well as bullets and blades) quickly fly.

A Berry Vs Bacteria - Crack. Ichigo, the son of an actual doctor, finds out that the Shinigami as a whole don’t buy into things like hygiene and vaccination.  Things go sideways very very quickly.

Arranged Marriage - Central 46 sends down a decree that, too powerful to be allowed to continue roaming about un-tethered to Seireitei, Kurosaki Ichigo must marry. 

Byakuya Style - Upon finding out about the decree Byakuya decides that, one way or another, he will wed Kurosaki Ichigo. 

Kisuke Style - Urahara Kisuke didn’t expect to become a possible candidate for Ichigo’s hand in marriage but Ichigo didn’t, exactly, give him much of a choice.  Not that he’s complaining of course.

Shrine Maiden Meets Strawberry - InuYasha Crossover - Ichgo, left shaken and damaged by the shattering of his soul finds himself drawn to a local shrine. There he meets Higurashi Kagome, a shrine maiden who knows first hand the pain of having one’s soul shattered and being left adrift and alone in a life that no longer feels like your own.

Oyabun Ichigo - Powerless and left behind Ichigo decides to go back to his root. Kicking the ass of the local small time wannabe Yakuza thugs who make a nuisance of themselves in Karakura.  He, somehow, ends up as as Oyabun to a new and more benevolent Yakuza faction the likes of which Karakura has never seen. - Now Live On AO3

Shrine Maiden Meets Oyabun - AU Mashup - Kagome meets Oyabun Ichigo instead

Science And Sonnets - All Human AU. Kisuke the science YouTuber and Ichigo the lifestyle and reading YouTuber end up with massive crushes on each other much to the delight of both their viewers.

Scalpels And Stickers - All Human Hospital AU. Ichigo is a pediatric nurse and the best kept secret of the 11th floor. Kisuke is a notoriously curious reconstructive surgeon. Sparks fly.

Blame It On The Nook - Ichigo and Kisuke both play Animal Crossing and end up on each other’s islands.  Then they end up Animal Crossing married. And then it snowballs from there. Honestly it’s all Tom Nook’s fault

Strawberry Smash - Crack. Ichigo is very gay and very very thirsty. Meanwhile Shinigami are oblivious cockblocks who don’t even realize they’re cockblocking.

The Strawberry Bride - Princess Bride AU. Ichigo isn’t the normal damsel in distress. Kisuke wasn’t just a farm-boy. Aizen’s hearing wedding bells. And murder.  It’s a bit of a mess.  But the kiss? Now that’s worth hearing about.

Kamisama Punch - Kamisama Kiss AU. Ichigo, freshly homeless and absolutely pissed about it, finds himself on the receiving end of an unwanted and unappreciated kiss by a stranger in the park.  After beating the guy bloody he’s offered a house in exchange for him stopping his attempts to stomp a mud puddle in the guy’s chest cavity.  Ichigo’s got nothing to lose so he makes the journey to the address. He’s not expecting the run down shrine, the 9-tailed perverted fox demon named Kisuke, or his new title.  Damn it all.

To Woo A Berry - In a universe where Urahara Kisuke and Aizen Sosuke join forces war is inevitable.  But when Kurosaki Ichigo takes the field both Urahara and Aizen are intrigued by this unique being who came out of nowhere to fight a war that he doesn’t seem all that interested in.

Liked And Subscribed - Kisuke, freshly banished from the yakuza clan he’s dedicated the last decade+ of his life to for a murder he doesn’t regret, happens upon a certain ASMR channel and is immediately obsessed. Karakura Town’s crime rate plummets even lower than it normally is right around the time Ichigo bumps into a handsome stranger who’s just moved to town.  These two things are very much connected. - Now Live On AO3

Strawberry Anesthesia - Unohana feels something in Kurosaki Ichigo’s spiritual abilities that resonates with her.  So her only option is to take him under her wing and train him in the ways of the 4th Division to terrifying results.    

thoughts below the cut

thoughts below the cut

Most went quietly into the night. With mere minutes between the onset of symptoms and the fatal “point of no return”, that was to be expected.

There were a few that struggled and screamed, fighting with all of their strength to stay alive despite the agonizing pain they suffered as blood poured from every orifice of their faces.

Thomas Andre, for one, was said to have survived for nearly a week simply by channeling his mana into combat with his symptoms. Liu Zhigang survived for five days, sitting in silent meditation until a witness reported that he had fallen over dead, seeming almost peaceful in the moment.

The longest reported survival from the onset of symptoms, however, was that of Alicia Blanche. After the death of Emma Laurent, Antoine Martinez sought her out in order to heal her, to save who he could—if anyone at all.

But eventually, his mana ran low, and no amount of prayer kept the mysterious disease from taking her as well. It is unclear whether his patient or the man himself survived longer, but in honor of his sacrifice to keep her alive, most choose to believe he managed to give Ms. Blanche even one second longer in his final breath.

The shortest reported survival, on the other hand, was Lennart Niermann. It’s highly likely that several victims died much quicker, given his known strength, but due to the circumstances surrounding his death, his had many witnesses to tell the tale.

At the time, he had been in a meeting with several of the commanding officers of the Richter Guild, all of whom were there to watch as their Guildmaster collapsed onto to floor. He struggled in a pool of his own blood for all of ten minutes before ceasing movement entirely, and there was nothing that could be done to save him.

But not everyone had the luxury of merely witnessing a death. Tawana Kanae of the Blade Guild had been on a raid inside an A-Rank gate when she contracted the disease. All but two of her raid team was annihilated, and the gate broke open before another party could be amassed to clear it, causing even more carnage.

And of course, the deceased and those who bore witness to their deaths are not the only ones who were affected. Several loved ones of S-Ranks around the world, including Elena Renault and Bjorn Niermann, went missing in the days following the deaths of Alicia Blanche and Lennart Niermann respectively. In the case of Ms. Renault, her disappearance furthered the instability of the Justitia Guild, eventually causing its total collapse and disbandment.

In the months following the very first instance of this disease, many doctors and medical specialists could not agree on a name for it. It was unlike anything anyone had ever seen before, following no pattern of infection—except for being limited to S-Ranks.

What gave the disease its name was not a study done in a lab or even a discovery made by an intern—it was a colloquialism that was born from several group hallucinations in South Korea—the home to the only two surviving S-Ranks in the world.

Many, including Cha Hae-In herself, who decided to retire following the death of her friend and Guildmaster, privately and publicly claimed to see shadowy figures dancing in the streets of Seoul at night. Members of the Hunters Guild—now lead by Son Kihoon—and the White Tiger Guild claimed that the shadows resembled that of their late Guildmasters, Choi Jong-In and Baek Yoon-Ho.

Though the phenomenon was never explained, many others from across the globe came forward to talk about similar circumstances—such as Laura Walker of the Scavenger Guild, former secretary of Thomas Andre. Thus, the disease has since been dubbed “The Shadow Disease” for its inexplicable ability to turn S-Rank Hunters into Living Shadows.

a guy that isn't crashing tf out for every single shit that life throws at him? uh, yeah im also willing to bet that same guy threw a molotov once at some poor neighbor's yard bc they kicked his pet dog or smth.

the guy basically wrangling all the s-ranks of a country while doing a 9-5 in corporate attire? yeah, i think he probably got involved in a crime syndicate in busan once.

But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting.  Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible.  Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible.  Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because I don’t have the energy to go anywhere.

you have this breath weapon! (also you're a dragon)

AO3 SCAM

There's been a number of people reporting over on the AO3 subreddit that they're getting messages like this posted in the comments shortly after posting new fics.

The AO3 team are NEVER going to try and contact you about TOS violations via the comment section (or about anything else for that matter)

Don't click any links. Report the accounts involved (which might claim to be things like "LucySupport"), delete the message and move on.

I cannot get this goddamn video out of my head. So I have ideas for a video of it. I don't know if this will ever come to fruition, but I need others to see the vision here.

Quilge, Jerome, Driscoll, Berenice, and Loyd/Royd were taken out because they were dead when Uryu joined. Pernida probably wouldn’t care so they're not in the main lineup. Gwenael is a creation of Gremmy, so he's not been included either.

They - Askin, not caring. looking away. [maybe Uryu as a child]

Want - Bambi, annoyed

You - As Nodt, probbaly normal

They - Liltotto, unimpressed [Uryu in season 1]

Want - Bazz-B, angry

You - Cang Du, uncaring

They - BG9 [Uryu soul society arc]

Want - PePe, normal

You as a new recruit - Gerard, grinning

Who Me?! - Uryu

They - Robert, uncaring or confused [Uryu arrancar arc]

Want - Meni, shocked

You - Mask, surprised

They - Candy, annoyed/disgusted [Uryu fullbringer arc]

Want - NaNaNa, smug???

You - Gremmy, uncaring but more amused

They - Nianzol, normal [Uryu at the start of TYBW]

Want - Gigi, curious/surprised

You as a new recruit - Lille, neutral

[Music] 

[Show scene of Uryu meeting Ichigo]

[Show scene of them fighting together in season 1 against the hollows]

But - “But-” Uryu

[Show them travelling to save Rukia]

[Show him fighting Mayuri]

But - “But-” Soken

[Show him training to gain his powers back]

[Show them going to save Orihime]

But - “But-” Jugram

I’m afraid of water - “I’m not like you!” Uryu, begging

[Show him fighting Szayel]

[Ulquiorra fight??] (I'm not certain on this one)

Hey hey, look man - “listen-” Uryu, then Ryuken.

[Show Uryu with Soken as a child]

I get sea sick even watching it on the TV - “I can’t be his right-hand man!” Jugram side profile. Or uryu side profile, then Jugram side profile.

They - Ichigo, horrified

Want - Orihime, scared

You - Chad, sad

Oh my goodness - Uryu, guilty

They - Rukia, shocked

Want - Renji, angry

You - Yoruichi, saddened

What am I gonna do in a submarine! - Uryu to Soken “how am I supposed to kill him?!”

They - Pernida

Want - Gerard

You - Lille

[silence] - Ryuken, back turned, as he looks down at the book or the quincy cross

They - Bazz-B, pissed

Want - Jugram, hand on his sword. Maybe shadow over his face where the Almighty can be seen

You - Yhwach

In the navy - Uryu kneeled in front of Yhwach

This may be a lil out of character for him,,, but Uryu is also a kid. He's a kid who's been through a lot. Askin also does NOT care for Uryu, and was only appointed to be part of the royal guard after the Auschwallen.

Also switched around Gigi and Lille for the "[they want] you as a new recruit" line. Lined it up perfctly with Gerard, and decided it would work well as well for Lille to be the final one.

The person who asked said they were thinking about Uryu not being able to connect with Ichigo and the others after death, to which Kubo says:

- absolutely not. these kittens will have means to see each other and keep connecting with each other in every universe. I just have to create an interdimensional connection involving Hell, you know, for the plot.