Nadja my beloved I love you so much but you had better stop being so fucking rude to Colin Robinson right the fuck now >:(

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

the composition of this is like a fucking painting

I keep forgetting that some of y'all are the most milk toast normies who faint if I dare suggest that laszlo wants to be bred like a bitch in heat

clutching your pearls while I am DEEP in that man's cervix

Being a wwdits fan this season is like being a fan of a sports team that for years has never won a game and then suddenly they're going to the fucking super bowl

And then they lost like 0-50

he’s bisexual. he’s poly. he loves his wife more than anything. he can’t drive. he’s goth. he has a sick ass hat. he has leprosy on his dick specifically. his best friend is his neighbour. he tried to kiss him one time. he hates the british. he is british. he’s 300 years old. he has personal beef with freud. he kills people with his wife as foreplay. he got abducted by animal control once. he was the first pornstar. he fucked his own ghost. he raised a weird bald kid born out of his dead friend. he loves hgtv. he has adhd. his mortal enemy just really fucking wants his hat. he ran away across the country and started a new life because he owed a guy $100. he’s a renowned musician. he locked someone in a box and mailed him across the ocean. and he owns my entire heart

I bet that Guillermo watched the new interview with a vampire show and became super fucking pissed because that was supposed to happen to him! That life of decadent romance and gothic vibes is what he deserved! Instead, he got saddled with a bunch of vampires whose stupidity outweighed their horniness. Tragic.

Pilot Guillermo is so iconic. He’s like LMAO have you seen these dorky cosplaying DnD playing loser nerds? Aren’t they pathetic? Anyways, let me explain to you in great detail why I’m the biggest vampire nerd of them all and how this entitles me to eternal life