🌔 CC 🌖

And I at some point thought my 2-month absences were long. Anyway, I'm coming back to this blog! And with some thoughts, and with a new PFP to represent a change in them.

I've still been lurking around of course, but some incidental stretch of silence somehow put a sense of weight on whatever my next post would be, or simply made me forget what it was like to take a minute to reblog things. Recently though for whatever reason, searching for a particular post, I went back through my whole older archive. I found myself delighted reading all of the tag whispers of past me, using the subjects of posts I share as prompting to express the full extent of my mildly-relevant thoughts. Then, even the silent reblogs speak to whatever was on my mind at the time, whatever I wanted to keep close or show off...

Damnit, I miss that! I do want to come back! Not only the art of collecting, but to work of my own; Making original posts that aren't just drawn-out updates on myself like this, but little words of the day that don't have to come attached to someone else's.

After playing it safe as a silent observer of the internet for so long (as I should've in my youngest years), it tends to escape me the fact that I can have a voice. That I'm capable of commenting on or writing my own posts, of sending asks to and interacting with creators, of showing creations myself. I have a strange relationship with publicity I suppose; I like to know that theoretically I could be being seen, whilst also treading so so lightly around the weight of potentially getting actual attention. It's spectacularly intimidating, and I still do NOT have to capacity to truly cultivate an audience at the stage I'm in.

So what do I mean by saying all this? I'm going to go on with using this blog as my public scrapbook of art and interests, while so giving it some room to grow in new directions at my leisure; I won't fool myself and take on the pressure of regular "content creation", but I might as well take stabs at original posts linked to my interests. Sharing not just art, but edits, videos, unconcealed outpourings of thoughts like this, and even simpler little reactions to what's going on around my spheres. This is a nice enough place to do that. I need the practice.

Especially because, I did in fact make a sideblog some time ago. I just. Psyched myself out of starting to post anything on there yet, because I wanted to make an illustration for an intro post and never finished it. I aimed to spur myself into making more art as a whole, but I see need to take baby steps here. Soon, the Nieblab will open it's doors... Probably.

In actuality, I'm at a very eventful stage in my life. I can't overload myself getting swept up in the storm that is social media. However, the places where I can find calm, I think I can make something for myself that I'll enjoy, and that perhaps someone else will too. But the latter is secondary. I'll just do what comes to me, alright?