IAmFangirlingRightNow

“If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse”

Ron is a Slytherin

Draco is a Ravenclaw AND a mysogonist

Snape isn’t a cunt and is really nice and caring towards Harry

Angels have replaced owls

Dean Thomas is a main character for no reason

Dumbledore isn’t gay and is married to a woman and is ALSO Hermionies dad

It doesn’t take place in the UK for some reason

Wizard duels are now called pray-offs

Harry converts Draco into being a Gryffindor (who are depicted as pitch perfect Christians who follow the bible closely and only take orders from God)

Eco friendly-ness is bad apparently

Voldemort has hair

Believing in evolution is apparently Satanic

Voldemort wanted to make Christianity ILLEGAL

Voldemort ALSO has a Reddit account

Dumbledore calls Reddit a “godless coven”

THEY LITERALLY TRY AND CONVERT VOLDEMORT INTO BEING A CHRISTIAN

Harry says that Voldemort has been tricked by the lies of society and that he deserves to burn in hell 

““I’m just so upset that you don’t accept the Bible,” Hermionie sobbed femininely. “The Bible is the best book ever. Why can’t you respect that?”“

Voldemort is described as a fornicating, drug-addicted evolutionist (Actually, this is what the author says that all Evolutionists are like this)

There are several paragraphs describing beloved fictional characters’ chest hair.

Slytherins are Catholics.

i flipped a coin to decide on who was finna die 

context: final battle for gatlon, they know of one another’s identities, and they pretty much hate each other ngl. 

based off of a kiss text post

I refuse to edit and for that i have no regrets fight me

“Nova?”

Nova looked up at Adrian, unmasked in her Nightmare uniform. Then, she looked back down at the knife driven through her middle. Slowly, she grabbed its hilt as her knees buckled from underneath her. Adrian jumped forward, using the springs under his feet, and caught her before her head could hit the ground.

“That’s what traitors get,” her attacker, a filthy sewer dweller that pledged allegiance to the Anarchists, spit out, right as a bullet went through their head. Adrian whipped his head around. Danna lowered the gun.

Nova gripped his arm tightly then, and he looked back down at her. Her chest was rising and falling unsteadily. She moved her mouth, speaking, but the roaring in Adrian’s ears prevented him from hearing her.

“You’re going to be okay,” he found himself saying, eyes frantically assessing her wound, knowing better than to remove the knife. He looked over his shoulder at his team, all staring in shock. “Danna, get help! Ruby, Oscar, come help me!”

Even as he yelled, even as they did as they were told, Nova touched her hand to his cheek. There were unshed tears in her eyes that didn’t match the quivering smile on her lips.

“I’m going to hold my sister again,” she breathed. Her chest shook with each inhale. “See…my parents.”

Adrian shook his head. A tear fell from his cheek. “No, stay with me, okay, Nova? A healer is coming. You’re going to be okay.”

Oscar and Ruby appeared beside him, although there wasn’t much they could do. Not with the knife still embedded in her. Not until they had a healer.

Her eyes, which had previously been pointed at his shoulder, met his. They were the eyes of the girl he knew, of the girl he knew before she betrayed him. But none of that mattered now. She had taken the knife meant for him. His enemy had saved his life, sacrificing herself in the process.

But Nova was never his enemy. Not really. Even though they were on opposite sides of the war.

“I’m sorry.” She gasped for air, blinking rapidly. “For…for hurting you. I really…really did care…for you, Adrian.”

Adrian held the hand against his cheek, clutching it. “Just a few more minutes.” He didn’t want to answer, afraid of what he might say. Too much said too late.

“Adrian.” Nova tugged at his hand, surprisingly strong. Upon her request, he leaned down. She pressed a kiss below his eye, then kissed his lips. He responded immediately, gentle in his caress, but pulled back just as quickly.

“You need to save your air.” Adrian gulped. His lips tingled.

Despite the circumstances, Nova managed to roll her eyes.

“Tell the others I’m sorry.” Her voice dropped in volume, eyes flickering to Oscar and Ruby who watched helplessly, holding one another.

“Please, don’t go.” Another tear fell from his face, and Adrian let it fall shamelessly. “Please, stay with me.”

Nova shivered and huddled closer to Adrian’s body. “Don’t…let things go back-go back…back to the way they were,” she whispered to his chest, barely audible.

She went still in his arms. He shuddered when he heard her last breath. Throat closed, head on fire, Adrian raised her face to his and kissed her forehead.

Then, as the battle raged on around them, he closed her eyes.

automobile

changing coolant

changing oil

changing tire

jumping a car

plumbing

toilet running

basement flooding

replace a faucet

clogged drain

electrical

replacing light switches

blew a fuse

installing overhead light

earth vs. neutral vs. live wires

home

patching drywall

finding studs

like i recently had to change my car battery and freaked out cause i thought id electrocute myself but turns out new batteries come with directions and its the easiest shit in the world so long as you can lift the damn thing. 

me, internally: because throwing myself into something allows me to briefly forget the constant depression misery and sadness i suffer through every day and when i marathon things my self hatred sometimes starts to disappear because i forget that i’m a real person who exists in the real world. my obsessions help me to cope when i feel like i’m about to explode or cry or scream or all of those at once and once i get into something i barely think of anything else for weeks which is a very unhealthy coping tactic but hey it helps so

Nevaeh now wears a scarf to cover several bald spots and her singed hair. She was left with first-degree burns, but it could have been worse according to Tanya Robinson, Nevaeh’s mother.

“The doctor told me her hairstyle saved her life,” Tanya recalled. “Had it been different, she might not be here.”

This isn’t the first time Nevaeh has experienced bullying. Two years ago, another student broke her thumb.

I’m walking into that school like

Samuel Gompers School

Address: 5701 Wynnefield Ave, Philadelphia, PA 19131

District: The School District of Philadelphia

Phone: (215) 581-5503

The School District of Philadelphia

Address:  440 N Broad St, Philadelphia, PA 19130

He glanced at me for a second with a blank face before walking around me and continuing down the hall of his castle. I quickly turned and ran to walk beside him.

“I’m sorry, but it’s just that I got a little lost,” I explained before winking with another set of finger guns, “in your eyes.”

He comes to an abrupt stop and let’s out a heavy sigh. “We’ve been over this. I will not date you,” he strained out the word ‘not’.

“It’s cool. I get it,” I raised my hands in surrender, “But has anyone told you, you look,” I once more winked with a pair of finger guns, “hot as hell.”

Satan wears the red suit and the hat and the boots, if awkwardly (those cloven hooves, don'tchaknow). 

The elves stand well away, but he’s hardly bothered by that, casually waiting on a throne that’s far more cheerful and composed of significantly less bone than the one he’s used to. The children are hesitant at first, until a little girl marches up, sans-parents, and plops herself on his knee, looking up at him with the set jaw of someone who isn’t interested in this farce.

“I want a pony,” she says with a roll of her eyes. She’s no more than nine. He arches an eyebrow “Do you?” he asks. She scoffs.

“Tch, no, but you’re just a man in a suit, it’s not like you can’t get me what I want.” He smiles at her assertiveness and steeples his fingers, careful not to jostle her from her perch. “Try me.” She narrows her eyes at him, studying his inscrutable face before folding her arms. “There’s a bully at my school, and I want him to go away,” she said. His eyebrow arched a little higher and he tilted his head. “And if I do this, I believe the standard contract is that you will be a ‘good girl’ and behave appropriately towards your most favored parent?’ he replied. The child rolls her eyes. “Yeah, sure,” she says. He nods and holds out his hand, which curls around hers entirely when she puts hers out. 

“It will be done.”

After that, the children are a lot less hesitant, although several adults attempt to leave. Several hundred bargains are made. For toys. For new family. For present family to suffer. For puppies. And kittens. For understanding. For acceptance. 

He declines anything borne of pettiness - of momentary squabbles between jealous children - and redirects them towards more productive desires.

He turns away anyone over the age of eighteen, though several adults attempt to approach. Later they are plagued with horrible nightmares.

At the end of each day, he returns to the underworld and assembles teams of demons, handing out assignments to each of them, to be researched heavily and then executed the night of December 24th. The demons are confused, but do as they’re told, because the dark lord’s edicts are undeniable. His secretary gives him an odd look, but Satan is immune to searching looks, and says nothing, just retires to his room, gets up in the morning, has his coffee, and returns to the mall, donning the suit and heading for the chair.

At the end of the week, he has made more than a thousand deals. The demon hordes are scurrying back and forth between hell and the physical plane.

There are many confused parents, come Christmas morning. Some find themselves with various pets they don’t remember registering for. Others with children. Others still find that their children have undergone some sort of personality shift, to the delight of their siblings. 

The first girl is bitter in her heart as she opens gifts, until a letter is personally delivered by a strange mailman, detailing the removal of a teacher from the school she attends. She reads and rereads the letter after her parents finish with it, heart beating strangely lighter in her chest. Her parents are bemused and delighted about the hugs she gives them, and about the enthusiasm with which she ravages her other presents.