sitting on the sidewalk like a baby

the thing is like men and men really cant be friends because the sex part does always get in the way like thats true. and i mean that like im actually dead serious about that

like have you ever seen two straight men attempt to be friends with each other but the gay sex they arent having is literally preventing them from the transformative healing power of friendship. this is real

i dont even mean this in a "they want to fuck each other" way (although many of them do and will never know it) i mean that like the fact that gay sex is even hypothetically possible between them makes it loom over their friendship like it genuinely haunts them that they could be having it. gay sex is the elephant in the room every time they attempt to be emotionally vulnerable with one another, every time they let a hug linger too long. they cannot address its existence and so there is always something in their way, preventing true connection. and that something is the gay sex. that they are not having. the elephant of gay sex

It's perfectly natural for autists to like trains because trains are like our older brothers, to whom we can look up. Trains are big and strong creatures; unstoppable and proud, but they are elegant and logical. Not human but like humanity they are higher than beasts. The train is like a stoic sword hero who does what must be done and whose will must be respected, for his course cannot be altered. A train is an adult man with asperger's who has a job. And he's faster than everybody. I could be like him some day.