"WHAT??" The Sidekick looks back and forth between the pale, sweat-greased Noble and the Hero slouched back in their chair across from him, their feet kicked up on the ornate desk.
"I said that either you're going to limit workdays for the poor to 40 hours per week, or I'm going to break your fingers." The Hero repeated, quite simply. They cocked their head, the movement precise, like the gear in a grandfather clock. "What? I'd do it. Actually- I can start with your non-dominant hand, I can be nice." "Wh- Bu-!" The noble sputter, jolting up and nearly knocking his chair over. "G-GUAR-!" "WAIT wai wai wai- HOLD ON! My Lord, I am SO sorry, just-" The sidekick barges in, already dragging the Hero, (stiff as a board), away before he had the chance to call security. "Just give us a moment, I'll talk to-"
*on the other side of the room, they yank them down to their level by the collar and hiss in their ear. "What the HELL was that?" "What?" The Hero blinks, eyes smooth and foggy. They shrug, all nonchalant- but the sidekick knows them too well. They could see the shiver of enjoyment threading through their shoulders. "I'm just trying to fulfill the queen's orders." "Wh- by THREATENING a GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL? What if we get BEHEADED for this?" They smack their palm against their forehead, and the Hero finally grins, (one silver tooth and one hole shine from the smile). "Do you- ugh! Do you even *think* before you do these kinds of things? At all??" The smile drops almost instantly. "I am thinking!" They jab the side kick's chest, stepping forward in advance- offence flooding to the gills. "I've been thinking so much this week! I've been being really nice to everyone! Wearing those uncomfortable collars and shaking people's hands, and asking about their children, and things like that! I was so nice. SO nice I almost grossed myself out." The Hero steps back finally, crossing their arms over their proud chest and turning their nose up to the sky, a mix between a stone monument of national acclaim and a tantrumming child. "And now I'm so tense! Tetchy! I just want to get this done already!"
The sidekick stares at them. Then sighs, taking off their glasses and wiping them down again. Their heart rate still slipped like a stone on water⌠Ugh, they⌠They HATED negotiations like this. At least it was easier not to retreat back into their chair when they had the Hero standing tall and unashamed beside them. Yes, that always made them feel safe⌠They breathed deeply.
"⌠Okay, fine. We can go back and try again- just." Glance up, stern. "Can you⌠Try to be a little more convincing than this?" Was only met with a "Yeah, yeah, fine" and a wave.
Returning to the table, the Hero straightened their tie, and looked down at the Noble again, their smile beaming pure and saintly.
"Alright, so- change of plans. Either you're going to limit workdays for the poor to 40 hours per week or I'm going to break your entire arm-"
