James Nightshade

the second radish is 29 feet away

The concept of "spyware" has disappeared from the common internet lingo after it became the case that the word could now be used to describe nearly every major website and a huge percentage of the most commonly-used software.

God bless our troops

goonslop is what i feeds my henchmen so they grows up nice and strong, see?

i don't know how to say this without being all 'kids these days' BUT kids do seem more sheltered nowadays regarding reading. all the kids' chapter books are called something like 'sir poops-a-lot and the massive fart' and people are absolutely vehement that a teenager can't read wicked because of its (nonexistent) smut and on threads right now people are seriously having a debate about whether 12 year olds can read ya books. when i was in year seven reading flowers in the attic was a rite of passage and now people are afraid of preteens knowing about the existence of sex.

Sometimes people think they're dealing with a Torment Nexus but what they actually have is a Jumanji. And sometimes people think something's a Jumanji but oops it's a Torment Nexus.

Now. Sometimes you have a third thing- you'll have yourself a Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. And buddy, I can't help you there.

[Image ID: Headline from IFLScience reading: "You Wouldn't Steal a Movie" Advert May Have Led To More People Stealing Movies /End ID]

Fun fact! Both the music and the font in that ad were incorrectly sourced and did not provide compensation to the creators

we need to have a conversation about how the "everyone is 12" theory of politics now doesn't only apply to conservative men who want to kick the bad guys' asses and then go home and eat a steak their bangmommy made just for them (NO VEGGIES!!!) but also to adult women who are literally afraid of other people having sex and being sexy. it's like there's been this massive regression among women in their 20s where we've gotten rid of feminism and replaced it with a new form of purity politics that requires never saying anything bad about another women unless you find a new and creative way to call her a whore. the misuse of "she caters to the male gaze" as a new form of enlightened slut shaming, labeling any woman who wears a short skirt or has sex with a man as "not a girls' girl" and "a pick me," the intense overreaction to celebrity affairs or even just shit like the summer house mess where a woman is now dating another woman's ex even though there was no overlap and the "relationship" was just kind of a situationship that fizzled but now these little girls are online demanding both people involved in the new relationship lose their jobs and not get any brand deals, the panic over mildly sexual content in literally any capacity like ads or an instagram post in a crop top, the compulsion to link everything back to the epstein files, the monthly meltdown over sex scenes on tv and in movies. everyone is 12 and AFRAID of sabrina carpenter.

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy who’s job it is to destroy plastic