once again i love how star wars takes place in a massive galaxy with thousands of planets and billions of people, and yet every bounty hunter knows each other personally

It's called networking babe

when Boba Fett adds you on LinkedIn you know you've made it

I am whatever the opposite of a speed runner is. I am a game meanderer. I have to look at literally everything. I am overly cautious in every way. I forget to pause and wander away from the game. I take a minimum 7 hours to get through any given level. If you give me a timer I will cry.

I lost it at “screams of the souls of the damned optional”…. like, is that a button you can switch off your demon-boyfriend toaster, haha!

Aziraphale’s EXTREMELY disturbed squashed muppet face the first time Crowley toasted bread in front of him (having eaten several rounds of hell toast unaware) prompted the comment “More fire, less hell, dear boy.”  and for Crowley to install some scream muting to the fire summon.

Smart woman next to an unbelievable achievement is a picture niche that will never get old

hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

”with our ai chatbot you can talk to your ocs!!” Dumbass. I’m already talking to them. In my head. “B-bbut what about your favourite charac-“ skill issue. In my head as well. get fucked.

my friend's discord server has a "proof of touch grass" channel where they post pics of them doing regular activities outdoors/in public. i think many online spaces could benefit from such a thing

My favorite human ritual is the unspoken rule that if you enjoyed a concert, you must clap without stopping at the end (if you were seated, you may rise to express further respect). The musician will bow, then exit the stage, but you must keep clapping. The musician must return and act surprised, bow again, then exit once more, and you continue to clap. Then, the musician will return and play one or two extra numbers (you stop clapping during the music) and at the end after they leave for the last time, you can clap as long as you wish but the musician will not return. It’s just such a cute song and dance. I've been to shows where the musician expects it (to the point that i could see their timer backstage that indicated how much time they had left for the show and they bowed for the first time with 20 minutes to spare) so they just go through the motion of pretending to end the show but the extra number is completely planned and we all expect it. Everyone in the audience is in on it but we all just do it anyway because it’s like a conversation were the audience and the musician are saying Thank You to each other over and over. Makes me feel some type of way

No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.

No look I get it. You’ve got your evil plan, you’ve gotta get me out of the way but you also want to see me suffer as I watch the world burn, I know. But like, I’m not into this. Sexually or otherwise. Wait, you thought I was doing this because I liked you? I’m trying to stop you from using a death laser. No I don’t think death lasers are sexy what on earth are you talking about

Wait. That’s why you dress like that? I thought that armor was impractical. No I don’t find our relationship to be homoerotic I find it to be tedious. Look, man. We all keep trying to get you into therapy. No I’m not kink shaming you I’m saying you’ve completely misinterpreted this relationship. I actually do think you should answer for your war crimes. Yes, really. No you’re the one not listening to me in this situation. Yes that is the alarm the others will have cut all your wires and called in the fbi by now.

What do you mean you thought we had something special? I have other enemies. You’re not the only one. No I’m not doing kinky things with them either I blow up their nefarious devices. Speaking of which, you might want to move like… ten feet to your right.

do not go gentle into that good night

be a bit of a bitch about it

here’s to all the things you survived quietly and privately this year

here’s to all the things you survived loudly, to the dead horses you beat, to the shit that makes you scream