Rogue Wall Enthusiast

Absolutely No Adventures: (fantasy) A young baker is the chosen one of about a dozen prophecies. He's happy to help out, on the condition that he will be going on absolutely no adventures.

Community Cat News: (Comedy) A radio show by cats, for cats

The Far Meridian: (Slipstream/magical realism) An agorophobic young woman wakes up to find her lighthouse home has moved somewhere completely new overnight. As it continues to travel, she uses the opportunity to look for her missing brother.

Middle:Below: (Supernatural/ Urban Fantasy) Two humans, a ghost, and a cat go on various adventures together to fix ghostly problems.

Sidequesting: (fantasy, adventure, all-ages) Rion is an adventurer like no other: they only do side quests! A wholesome show about avoiding the plot

Skyjacks: Courier's Call: (TTRPG, fantasy, adventure, all-ages) In a world of magic, sky pirates, and giant, rideable birds, three teens become apprentices aboard a flying postal ship.

Starfall: (Fantasy, adventure) A runaway swordswoman finds a place to escape her past with a travelling acting troupe, and discovers the literal and metaphorical magic of the theatre.

Stories From Ylemore: (Fantasy, all-ages) In a modern magical world, three kids (a witch, a werewolf, and a curse-bearer) go on adventures together and make a podcast about it.

The Vesta Clinic: (Sci-fi) Patient records from an interspecies walk-in doctor's clinic on the edge of human space.

Wizard Seeking Wizard: (Comedy, fantasy, romance) A dating show for wizards, hosted by a match-mage to pass the time after being trapped in an orb by his apprentice. Every episode, hear from four wizards looking to go on a romance, friendship, rivalry, or collaborator date, and then next episode hear from the two that got paired up about how their date went.

Me & AU - a sweet sapphic romance set in a fandom for a CW-ish fantasy tv series

Unprescribed Journeys - guided meditations that get a little weird

Travelling Light - a sci fi travelogue with a narrator whose voice and style is like a warm blanket

October Jones & Fish With Legs - a fantasy adventure that is just as fun as the title implies

AND FOR THAT I’LL MAKE YOU BOTH SUFFER UNTIL YOU NO LONGER UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF THAT GODDAMNED WORD

HIM I’LL KILL QUICK BECAUSE SHE ASKED ME TO AND BECAUSE THAT MUCH HE HONESTLY DESERVES BUT YOU TWO MUMMIFIED WIZARD SHITS I WILL BURN AND BURN AND BURN AND BURN UNTIL THERE IS NO TRACE OF YOU LEFT IN THE SHADOW OF MY LONG-LOST NATAL SUN.

WILL REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU KISSED ME—YOU APOLOGISED—YOU SAID, I AM SORRY, DESTROY ME AS I AM, BUT I WANT TO KISS YOU BEFORE I AM KILLED, AND I SAID TO YOU WHY, AND YOU SAID, BECAUSE I HAVE ONLY ONCE MET SOMEONE SO UTTERLY WILLING TO BURN FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVED IN, AND I LOVED HIM ON SIGHT, AND THE FIRST TIME I DIED I ASKED OF HIM WHAT I NOW ASK OF YOU

I KISSED YOU AND LATER I WOULD KISS HIM TOO BEFORE I UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU WERE, AND ALL THREE OF US LIVED TO REGRET IT—BUT WHEN I AM IN HEAVEN I WILL REMEMBER YOUR MOUTH, AND WHEN YOU ROAST DOWN IN HELL I THINK YOU WILL REMEMBER MINE

THE ONLY THING OUR CIVILIZATION CAN EVER LEARN FROM YOURS IS THAT WHEN OUR BACKS ARE TO THE WALL AND OUR TOWERS ARE FALLING ALL AROUND US AND WE ARE WATCHING OURSELVES BURN 

WE RARELY BECOME HEROES.

Now, somehow, their entire mental health is based on the continued life and happiness of this fairground goldfish that they picked up.

Neither of you know the first thing about how to care for even a healthy fish. This fish has been poorly cared for, has multiple diseases and the person who handed it over explicitly didn't expect it to live nearly as long as it already has.

You're frantically googling how to set up a fish tank, where to buy fish food, can you even take a fish to the vet? Your partner wants you to know that they're happy they made it home and survived their horrific ordeal, but also that if anything happens to the fish then they're going to kill everyone on this planet and then themself.

You're honestly wondering if you're even helping the fish, or just prolonging its suffering, but your partner will only accept medical help for their many injuries or engage in basic self-care once they're confident that the fish is being looked after.

So you get a tank. You set up a filter and all that stuff. You learn way more than you ever wanted to know about water temperature and ph and nitrate levels. The fish is safe. You start to develop some affection for the little guy. Your partner begins to recover. The fish begins to recover.

Which is when you learn that in its 'healthy' state, the fish regularly refuses to sleep when tired, keeps begging for food that is obviously unhealthy for it (and struggling to eat the food that you do provide because “it tastes gross”), and continually tries to persuade your partner to take it out of its nice safe tank so it can go explore the wonderful world of Outside, where the slightest mishap will kill it instantly.

@child-of-flame-and-sky It was eight nine times!

ETA: ^ I made that list for a previous ask about this, but I think he’s also crying into his hands on the landing strip before he tells Stratt he can’t do it, so that’s nine. All of which are times I would also cry.