birds, from short rest: episode 52 "crushed by an angel"
Emily: I was gonna say that you were like a hardy city pigeon
*Murph, Caldwell and Jake laugh*
Murph: I respect it; blue collar.
Emily: And then I was gonna say that Jake, Jake was like some, like hawk.
Murph: WHAT?! Did you just call your husband a pigeon and your friend a hawk?
Jake: I was really hoping you were gonna say hawk
Emily: No, no, no, you’re like, more of a city person and he’s more of like an outdoor- so I like picture him being like, having like a human companion, and he’s like kind of coexisting with him whereas you’re just like this like tough city guy.
Jake: I’m like elegant, and fierce, a little majestic, a little mysterious and you’re sort of like a frumpy little rat.
Murph: Name him like, he’s like a stupid sparrow or something like that.
Jake: Stupid Sparrow?!
Emily: City, city pigeons-
Jake: *imitates bird screech*
*All laugh*
Caldwell: He’s shitting!
Jake: I’m shitting and pecking at Murph
Emily: But Murph, city pigeons are like rough. I didn’t say like- You’re not just some random-ass pigeon; you’re a city pigeon, you, like, intimidate people in the park.
*Caldwell and Jake laugh*
Murph: I’m just like a vagrant?
Jake: Murph, you scare people! You scare people in the park, man! It’s not like that.
Caldwell: You eat pretzels and one of your legs is a weird little stump!
Emily: Also they all have huge dicks! You have a huge pigeon dick.
Caldwell: I don’t know, is that true?
Murph: No, certainly not.
Emily: Trying to dig myself out of this hole.
Jake: What kind of bird would Emily be?
Caldwell: Yeah, that’s a good question.
Murph: Now I just- a shit bird.
*Emily laughs*
Emily: I’ll take it.
