Weird, Funny and Awkward

"why do you keep calling things you find beautiful, inexplicable, and unsettling angels" i'm just doing what british wartime radar technicians did first

fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me. fool me three times this has gotta be a sex thing for at least one of us

*begins breakdancing gently* what’s wrong, son 

they're a problematic character TO YOU. they're problematic to me as well but I'm being weird and horny about it so it's different

If I keep practicing I might even be a person soon

“People you may know” and it’s the devil from the Bible

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space

fucking hate texting dracula i'll send him a funny meme and he'll call me to be like "i need to take a SCREAMshot on my HELL phone" like oh my god we get it youre scary

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

supid

supid.

hey man I found a piece of your soul stuck in the text messages of old friends you don’t speak to anymore. do you want it back