How did you get here???

Me sneaking into the kitchen at 3:42 to eat leftover pasta

tumblr friendships are hard to maintain like im sorry i know i havent talked to you in 5 months but you’re still super rad and i still consider us friends im just dumb

#if you’re wondering if this is for you #it’s probably for you

If I have ever messaged you or messaged me and never heard from me again, I still consider us friends. I just suck

And stop changing your user names

my brain, interrupting my daydream: this is poorly researched and the narrative is not compelling

Brain: “Do it again, take it from the top.”

You need to turn the sound on.  For the dragon’s voice.

how we act alone when we don’t feel like we have witnesses.. that is the genuine self.. me walking around my room punching the air talking to myself in a bad southern accent, that’s ME baby. you’re never going to know me like i know me. haha.

the human life is a strained and tense one. i envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach… warmed by the sun… unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life… 

do you need to talk

i wish i was a croissant 

have you guys seen this site where you can craft your own emojis out of other emoji bits (within reason)

literally desaturate any frame from john m.ulaney’s latest standup and it looks like it’s from a variety show in 1935

I’m sorry but variety shoes did not exist in 1935. Or even 45

isnt this that highschool murder game the fingers in his ass guy is from?