i like birds

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

this creature is you

Children of School

americans love doxxing their home states more than anything. we hear the name of our home state and everything goes black and we wake up 10 minutes later, having reblogged no fewer than 8 posts featuring the name of our home state

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

Let’s fucking go

the music made this one of the most hilarious things i have ever seen, thank you so much.

GJJGJRKGNH THE MUSIC GOES UNDERWATER WITH THE TURTLE

I think if zoidberg moved into bikini bottom he wouldnt look out of place at all i wouldnt even notice him there

I like how polite he is because he isnt intruding but curious somewhat

all the daughters sold to one direction are being returned. they're all men now. or lesbians

This reads like a 10k post.

im immune to 10k posts. i got vaccinated

this is an example of a symbiotic relationship

behind the post: I found this while reading the wikipedia page for sandwich and after expending a nonzero amount of effort finding the actual image since it was replaced soon after the thread was made I was confronted by the fact that the sandwich i had just eaten looked identical to the so-called absurdly offensive image (if you replace the bologna with ham and remove the milk) so to this wikipedia user and ~280 of you I ask what's your problem with my lunch