samuel / morrie

I really am just living for the hope of it all

if anyone knows what to do with all this grief let me know

they should invent a yourself you can forgive

Anyone else feel a gnawing aching melancholy that twists your gut and claws at your heart?

do you still think i'm hot with this giant hole in my chest

maybe if i isolate myself enough my desire for intimacy will go away

That scene where Sam first met Castiel is so devastating. He was so geeked and enthusiastic. Him now reaching out for a handshake, him offering it again. The hesitation in Castiel's response and Castiel being like "the boy with demon blood". My heart stopped.

always thinking about transfem sam during those brief glorious years at stanford. just her and her circle of friends she can be this honest beautiful version of herself with, not tied down in her past or hunting, not tied down in the expectations of her father. just her and jess and a future she's always wanted stretched out ahead of her. jess, the one who kept this secret from the week after they met, until the end of first year when sam was first willing to tell other people. jess who saw every version of sam as she grew comfortable in this new self. jess, who the happy, hopeful version of sam died with. sam keeps a photo of herself and jess in her wallet long after jess has died, and dean catches her looking at it and can only know of the way she is mourning jess, not the way she is mourning herself as well.