The Bot That Thought

The goal of this project was that there should be no goal. It was to be continuously in the process, and to sway with the wind of uncertainty. I don’t want to know where I am going, where I will be, or were I have been. I just want to go. Bruce Mau, was very influential in this whole process. In his manifesto he states that, “Process is more important than outcome. When the outcome drives the process we will only ever go to where we’ve already been. If process drives outcome we may not know where we’re going, but we will know we want to be there.” I want to go somewhere I’ve never been before. That is what the project is about.

Originally, my thought was to put natural paintings throughout the city, to show the differences between nature and the city. I was influenced by the book, “Into the Wild.” But then, after my discussion with Matt, he brought up a different viewpoint. Why are our homes and cities any different than a birds nest? At first I disagreed with him, but then I gave it more thought and decided there was a lot of truth to what he was saying. It made me recall what Alan Watts said about the universe, and how you and I are all as much continuous with the physical universe as much as a wave is continuous with the ocean. At first I thought that this was going to destroy my project, but it actually gave it a lot more meaning, because then I asked the question of “well, does everybody think this way? Why not?” This is a chance for me to convey this idea throughout the city.

I had a lot of different experiences. I was turned down by my own synagogue. Which was a weird awakening. The structure that was so welcoming to me me at one point, is now a stranger. It couldn't help but feel a little hurt inside. On top of that, the architecture building that I learn in every day, was extremely sluggish in responding to me. They only got back to me, once I already hung up the painting. It made me feel like they really didn’t care. 

This project, is not just a project. It is a living breaking organism. I don't see this organism dying anytime soon, as I will continue putting up new paintings throughout the city. Who knows, maybe one of my paintings will make it to space. (Still waiting to hear back from Elon Musk...) 

Part II of the documentary will consist of the hanging of the paintings throughout the city, and the eventual happenings of the artworks. I wonder how long they will stay up? Will someone take them? Will they be thrown out? Lost to the wind? Publicized? Who knowns...

 Sometimes it is great to just go and photograph life. There is something about it that makes life seem so much more fulfilling. Maybe it is because I am noticing the little things. Like the way a shadow is casted, or the way the moon lines up with object or buildings or the way the leaves move when the wind picks up. These little things are what adds up to make the big things in life. I feel like a lot of times people tend to overlook the small things in life. Like they are not important and even nonexistent. If you are able to understand what is important, I think that it can change your entire perspective on life. So, here are some photos I took of the little things in life that I enjoy.

It’s not the greatest picture, but that is a picture of the moon, lined up onto of the light post. How cool is that? I had to climb through snow to get this shot...

A tree, reaching over to converse with the river.

Saying good-day to my parents dog.

The stairway to heaven... or so I thought... it didn't lead me there in the end, unfortunately.

The Other day I visited the Walter library. Now this library, I am very envious of. Why couldn’t Ralph have built something like this for the architecture building? The Walter Library is so grand and gorgeous. The decorated ceilings, large archways, Corinthian, marble pillars, glossy floor… now I know where all of our tuition money is going! I guess I am okay with that. The design of the building really made me think why it is so similar to Greek and Roman designs. In-fact all of the building around the square look very much like they were from the Roman period. What is it about the design of that age, that made things look so grand and authoritative. I guess it could be a mixture of size a materials. If something were small and made of granite, or gold, it would be considered a relic, or jewelry. But the moment you create something like that with a much larger magnitude, it becomes something of a monument. On the other hand, if you take something that is made of plastic, and then something that is made of a much higher grade material, they will have vastly different effects on the outlook of the object. It is really funny how that works.

 In architecture this is very evident that materials and size are very important when considering the design of the building. It is also very apparent that price play a very large role too. It is a balance between all of these things that is what architecture firms have to deal with.

The Other day I visited the Weisman Art Museum. I haven’t been to the museum since last year, so it was great to see all the new art. The first thing that I noticed at the museum was the painting of the mountain at dawn. I stared at it for a good 10 minutes, noticing all the small nuances in the brushstrokes. I was actually really envious of this painter. These are the type of paintings that I wish I were able to paint, but unfortunately I am not there yet. It is remarkable the different kinds of emotions that a single painting can yield; whether it be through colors, or line weight, symmetry, size. It really makes me thing about how the visuals of the real world effect our emotions. If the city included more colors, and less amounts of grey, would people feel happier? If things weren’t so unorganized and separated, would people feel less stressed and more blissful? These types of things are very interesting. We often think about how paintings and artworks bring forth feelings, but it is also the same with anything in life. A sparkly pencil, a red controller, a  thin glass cup, a squiggly straw. These things invoke emotions and feelings.

 The second thing that caught my eye was the very large painting of infinite chickens in cages. This one really spoke to me on an ethical level. This is when the phrase, “A picture is worth a thousand words.” really is true. The chickens are all cooped up in their cages and as you go further and further down the aisle, it gradually goes on into infinity. I think what this is trying to say is that our hunger for meat is never ending, and thus we will need an infinite amount of chickens to feed ourselves. The sad part is that, infinity isn’t something that is a reality on our planet. Everything has a limit. Everything is finite. The rate that we are consuming Earth’s resources is incredible and it is cause for concern. If we continue consuming and wasting the way we are doing now, there won’t be any left for our future generations. For the past three years I have been a vegetarian. I am against the killing of animals, bot for ethical and environmental reasons. It appears like this painting is worth all my words, so I’ll just let it be.

This experience was one of my greatest experiences that I’ve ever experienced. It was the spring of 2015 when the creation of the robot started. It was something that I have always wanted to do. It was to create a life-size robot. I had been gathering cardboard boxes for a couple of weeks in anticipation to start the creation process. I spend weeks cutting, and taping and drawing up this masterpiece. Eventually it was created piece by piece in my parents basement. It was so large, that I couldn’t put all the pieces together in fear that it would not fit though the door, and fit it in the car. It was huge! If it were put together, it would’ve stood at about 8 feet tall. When the day came to take it to the site, which was Loring park, I packed my Oldsmobile up to the brim with the robot parts. Once I arrived at the site, I started to assemble the robot. I wanted the robot to be natural looking. Make it look like it was part of the park, even though it was really out of the ordinary. This task was a lot harder than I thought it would be. As it was windy and cold, and the tape I used was not sticking. All of my worst fears came to mind. “I am going to fail this project!” I quickly had to come up with another idea of how I was going to display the robot. In the end I decided that the robot was to sit at the base of a tree trunk, just chilling along the sidewalk. I was pretty happy with how it turned out. I felt accomplished. This was probably one of my greatest creations. The next day, I came back to the site only to see that the robot was not there anymore. It was completely gone, without a trace. It was nowhere to be seen. At first I was filled with anger. How could someone take it? What the hell! My second feeling was one of relief, because luckily my entire class was able to see it and experience it. Then, I had a third emotion, which came up a little later, and that was one of flattery and acceptance. I was amused that someone wanted my robot. Someone thought it was worthy of their taking and that made it not so bad. If someone took it, it must be that they needed it and I can live with that. This is the feeling that I feel going into this final project of mine. A feeling of acceptance, that whatever happens to these paintings, no matter how much work and time and money that I put into them, it was 100 percent worth it and it is all part of the process and cycle of life and art.  

I think I just discovered something new about myself. For my X-lab project, I made a bunch of paintings. Now, normally, painting opens up the summit of life for me. A pinnacle of my life. I feel blissfully accomplished with my painted hands. Although, after painting these paintings, these feeling were transcended by something else. It was the creation of the documentary about the paintings. This feeling is basically summed up by what Author Jack London wrote:

 “There is an ecstasy that marks the summit of life, and beyond which life cannot rise. And such is the paradox of living, this ecstasy comes when one is most alive, and it comes as a complete forgetfulness that one is alive. This ecstasy, this forgetfulness of living, comes to the artist, caught up and out of himself in a sheet of flame; it comes to the soldier, war-mad in a stricken field and refusing quarter; and it came to Buck, leading the pack, sounding the old wolf-cry, straining after the food that was alive and that fled swiftly before him through the moonlight.”

 This is how I felt as I made the documentary. It was invigorating, and refreshing. It was something that I just felt good about and it was awesome! This is something that wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t venture out of my comfort zone, and I feel like this is something that is integral to growing. This is probably somewhere is Bruce Mau’s manifesto of growth.

So, I decided that I wanted to send one of my paintings to space. Here’s my pitch to Elon Musk. 

Dear Mr. Musk,

  I will try to keep this short, as I know you probably get a lot of messages on here. First let me start off by saying how much I appreciate your leadership for renewable energy and space exploration. You are a beacon of light in the science community. I know this sounds cheesy, but I strive to be like you one day-you and Mr. Einstein, although I know that is a pretty steep hill to climb. Please continue doing what you do best, and I'm sure the world will change for the better.

 Alright, now that I got that out of my system, let's get to the point. My name is Ethan, I am currently in my final year in the Architecture program at the University of Minnesota. For one of my projects, I am creating a series of paintings about searching for nature. (It is very elaborate) I am placing painting throughout the city to demonstrate that cities and nature are one and the same. Now, this is where you come in: I want to send a painting to space, but I have no clue on how to do that. I know this sounds crazy, but if anyone were to understand, I would think it would be you. I know this is a lot to ask, and you probably won't read this, but if you did and even responded... it would make me pretty damn happy. Let me know what you think about this idea. I will elaborate if need be. You can message me on here, or email me at [email protected]    

Sincerely,  

The other day, I ventured over to a small library near my apartment. It’s funny because I’ve been living in St. Paul for about six months now, and I’ve only been in the library once. Upon my arrival I noticed how well lit the library was. It had large windows on the east side of the building, letting in a bunch of light. The library was floored with carpeting which made the space a lot quieter than other libraries that I’ve been to that’ve used cement flooring. My conversation with the librarian was very delightful. She was really helpful in finding the architecture section for me. She was also willing to take a selfie with me. She was surprised when I told her I was majoring in architecture. She thought that I was learning about becoming a librarian with all of the library question I had. One of the things I noticed about the organization of the library was that they were organized in a very professional matter. They were separated into different topics. It reminds me of how the books are organized in Coffman at the UofM.

 She was very insightful. Definitely more than other librarians that I’ve talked to thus far. She told me about how they are demoting librarian titles in order to save money. For example, instead of calling someone a children’s librarian they would be called a child’s specialist. She told me that the reason they do that, is so that they don’t have to pay them as much as they would if they were a librarian. This was very disturbing to hear. And it seemed like the librarian was really passionate about this topic too. I’ve heard of these types of things going on a lot in the educational field. Instead of having a lot of teachers, they instead, have many different TA’s that help in the class. That is how it is at the school that I work at and it is a mess.

 It’s funny, I really felt happy after conversing with this person. It made me think about how talking to strangers can have such a positive effect on your attitude. I am not sure exactly what it is about talking to people that you don’t know that makes it so thrilling. It is exciting, and new and if both sides are willing to talk, then both parties can learn so much. It is almost like two worlds are colliding, and spilling information over to each other and then once the conversation is over, the two worlds continue on their way, but the information exchanged between the two carries on until the next encounter.

In class, a couple weeks ago, I heard a quote by George Shaw that I loved. It went something like this: “If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.”

 It really made me start thinking about ideas and how they work. The first thing that popped into my head was the movie inception. Which is all about ideas, and how you can plant them inside people’s heads. My next thought was that they behave a lot like viruses. Like a virus, they spread from victim to victim; entering through the hosts brain waves, lying dormant, until the reproduction stages. Normally these ideas infect the young while they are most susceptible to influential thoughts. They are blissfully zombified until they achieve a mature state known as “thinking for oneself.” Some reach this state in their late teens and early 20’s. Some, sadly, never reach this state and live a blissful life of ignorance.

 The funny thing is, I think our brain is hardwired to want these thought viruses to infect us. We don’t really like thinking hard about things. We want other people to do the thinking and we definitely don’t like thinking differently than our peers. This leads us to biases. Biases are a deep infection of the brain. That is where thoughts have rooted themselves so far into the prefrontal cortex of the brain that it makes it hard to be infected by other thought viruses. It can be beneficial at times, but also very frustrating when in an infectious debate.

Collaboration. Teamwork. Cooperation. Fellowship. Partnership. Alliance. These are all the words that come to mind, when I think of collaboration. These words have so much depth to them. In class when we were talking about collaboration, we started talking about school and work, and how we collaborate in those settings. In school, there are times when I love collaborating, and times that I hate it. My last experience was not so good. I was working on building a model, and it required the collaboration of one of my classmates that I was assigned to. From the get go, I understood that this was going to be a power battle. Both of us had great ideas, and ideas that we really believe in. Unfortunately, we could only build one model that incorporated our ideas. This was really tough for both of us. It was hard to let go of our ideas and compromise. Those are the times that I wish we didn’t have to collaborate. It really made me think about how, maybe collaborating is only good, when there is a leader that is spearheading the collaboration. There needs to be someone that can lead the way and make the bold decisions, with the supporting collaborates. Otherwise it can be very chaotic. Looking back at the other groups, I could easily point out the “leaders” of the groups. The ones that spoke first and firmly. The rest would be secondary supporters in the collaboration. Of course, it isn’t always like that, but many times I can see where this is the case. It is almost natural.

 When thinking about collaboration in a societal sense, I can’t help but think that our entire society works as one large collaboration. It might be complicated, and convoluted, but the way our society runs, is actually a massive collaborative effort from every one of our citizens. In a way we are all helping the system move forward, even if our thoughts are to help only ourselves and our families and nothing else. It is very paradoxical. We care not for our neighbor but for our families, yet by doing that, we are actually moving our tiny cog in the American system which ultimately supports our neighbors. For if this system were to stop working, and the average American should stop moving his tiny cog in the societal matrix of cogs, things would fall into chaos and pandemonium quite quickly. We have become unaware of our nature. Unaware of what we are and the power we wield as a collaboration of citizens. This collaboration is so large, that we don’t even know that we are collaborating. That is a terrifying thing. Our collaboration is so large, that we have no control over other parts of our collaboration. All of these collaborations within our collaboration will only make more collaborations within those collaborations of the collaboration in the collaboration of our society.

 Thinking about how things might’ve been a couple thousand years ago, when the societal collaborations were much smaller–there were the same systems that we have today. For example the Sumerians had farmers, government officials, warriors, fishermen, priests, merchants, traders and slaves. Each sect contributed to the society in their own way. A large collaborative effort for survival.

 I think I finally get him. When I first watch Moriyama-San, I thought he was pretty cool. But I didn’t think he was that cool. Some parts were actually quite boring. After watching the documentary, I did want to make a point to try and listen to noise music. I haven’t been able to really try it out until a week ago. After listening to noise music for a week I feel… different. It is kind of funny to say that. But it’s true. Music in general is very powerful. It is something that can unite us, separate us, make us fall in love and invigorate our memories. While listening to noise music, it made me feel many different things. Some of the music I listened to made me feel scared. I was confused. I tried understanding it, but it was hard to comprehend. There was no beat. No rhythm, no poetic stanzas. The closest thing that I’ve ever experienced to this was when I heard the song called Revolution 9 by the Beatles. The first time I heard that song was back when I was in middle school. I remember listening to it with my older brother, and it really freaked me out. I would have bad dreams about it because the sounds were so unfamiliar. Part of it was because it was backwards. The sounds were going in ways that they normally don’t.

My father and mother believed that music is something that touches your soul and can change you. They never wanted me listening to music with inappropriate words, or excessive yelling. They would call it garbage and say that it is not good for me. I remember one day, my older brothers listening to rap, and my Father heard them. He got so mad that he threw out all of their music. Nowadays it isn’t as bad. My parents have loosened up a bit. But I think they were semi right by the fact that music does touch your soul. It can change you, your mind, and thoughts.

 Thinking back to Moriyama-San, his music isn’t calming nor is it exciting. It is but noise. I guess that is why it is called noise music. While listening, I noticed how random and inconsistent it was. It was hard to listen to at times. After listening to it for a while, I discovered that there is something that I can count on for consistency–the fact that it is randomized. Sometimes things that seem to have no order, and are so chaotic… the chaos itself is something that can be counted on for constancy. It is very paradoxical. I think that that is where the beauty of noise music lies. As for Moriyama-San, I think his work with noise music is part of the reason he is the way he is today. He has this carefree attitude towards life. (He sleeps on a hard wood floor for crying out loud!) He finds beauty in the small things, and most of all, he finds beauty in the chaos of life. I think I get him a little more now. It just took me a little bit.

 There is more to storytelling that meets the eye. It the literal sense, it is a way of conveying a certain happening of events. This happening of events, is something that is very popular amongst our species. It is something that we’ve been doing since the beginning of our creation. We have cave paintings, explaining hunting seasons, buffalo, mammoths, love, horse riding. We have ancient mythology, explaining how different gods and goddesses ruled the world, and how monsters creeped beneath. We have religion, which is one of the most famous of stories. The only thing more important than having these stories, is retelling them, and documenting them, for they are all part of the chronicle of this planet, whether it be true or not.

What is more natural? A city, or a birds nest? It is an interesting question, that is cause for some deep thinking. On the surface, it may seem like a simple question, but underneath the fluffy whip cream, lies the depths of cemented cake, and within that, the gooey core of chocolatey philosophy.

 When thinking about buildings, it is very obvious to think about how unnatural it may seem. With the hard concrete, completely flat surfaces, right angles, and structures soaring above the clouds, much unlike anything ever seen on planet Earth. Most of these materials, although made up from the Earth, are transformed into abnormal  materials, that otherwise would not exist without human intervention. For example: glass. It is very rare to find a flat slab of clear glass in the wilderness. Concrete is another example. It is a combination of naturally occurring things, which then creates something completely unnatural. So in a material sense, buildings are cut off from the rest of nature. There seems to be a dissonance. Although, just because the material are not naturally occurring, it doesn’t mean that we have our answer.

 Much like birds, we create spaces, that shelter us from the elements, and protect us from our predators. Birds take a naturally occurring living thing (trees), and create something that otherwise would not have naturally transpired. In a sense, this too is what humans do. In the words of Alan Watts “The ocean waves, and the Universe, peoples.” Just because something doesn’t occur naturally, does that mean it is unnatural. If that is the case, if an alien visited our planet, would they be considered not nature? Does nature only pertain to our planet, or is it interplanetary? Inter galactic? Inter universe? How large is this scale, and when does it end… or loop back around?

 So that’s it. We have our answer. Right?

 Well…

 There never really are any answers. Just more questions. Like, why do our city plans look so much like neurons? (I still don’t understand) Because we are made of stardust and the big bang, does that mean we are the universe building a home within itself? Does architecture have answers to these philosophical questions?

 The more I meditate on this word, the more lost I become, and the harder it becomes to move forward on my project.

When researching about Vito Acconci, one thing that came up consistently was his library and the way he organized it. His organization methods were very different from any other library. Acconci's organization system begins with categories such as Time, Space, Matter, Body, Life, Mind and Signs. What is very intriguing is how things are organized in their respective subsets. For example according to Vito, he organizes novels in the subset of time. Poetry belongs under the subset of body. Books on architecture belong in the subset of space. This type of organization completely changes the way one thinks about a subject. In a way, it is both elementary and complex. It is elementary by taking the essence of the book­– the soul of the subject. It is complex, because in order to understand the essence of the subject, one must know the subject in depth.

 Humans are always trying to organize things. It is literally how our brains are hardwired. When things are organized, things are safe. We need the safety of organization. I know for myself when things are disorganized, I cannot take it. It bothers me. I become anxious. Things need to be in the right places. Safe. When thinking about organization, it really made me think about how deep this word goes. How it is interconnected into everything we do. 

When we paint, we are organizing colors onto the canvas to convey a concept or an idea. When we do math, we are organizing the world into logicalities, numbers and matrixes. When we write a poem, we are organizing our thoughts and feelings into words to express our insights. In a way organization is in everything that we do. The essence of life is organizing. Since the day we are born we are systematizing the world around us. It is what creates the building blocks of our reality. Without organization, the world, and universe as we know it would fall apart. It would be a big mess of cognitive dissonance. When Vito organizes life into these elements of time, space, matter, body, life mind and signs, it is the ultimate organization. The organization of life. That is why it is so different and simple, yet complex.

 In the realm of architecture, this brings up multiple questions. Why do we organize our buildings the way we organize them. They are organized very systematically, and logically for the most part. In a way we think we are mighty humans, that are cut off from the rest of the universe with our superior brains, yet the way our cities sprawl out look much like the way our neurons spread throughout our brain. This stuff is just fascinating.

The other day I visited the Rapson library. It’s funny… of all the libraries I’ve been to, I never really thought about going to this one. It sounds weird but I don’t really think of it as a library. I’ve never once checked out a book from that library. The only times I’ve used this library is to either study, or to find some peace and quiet. During my exploration of the library, I discovered so many cool resources. There were architecture books of many different kinds. Some were in different languages, some were dating back over 50 years ago. It was very fascinating. 

 When I was younger I had this mentality that I couldn’t learn from books. They were too boring, or I was just too uninterested. I believed that the real learning happens from actually experiences. I would rather ride a longboard, that read a book about how to ride a longboard. I would rather paint on a canvas, stick my hands in clay, hammer a nail to a wood board. So that is what I did. And it worked out fine for me when I was younger. Now, things are a bit different. In architecture, you can’t experience everything. Something are too far out of reach, or I don’t have the necessary resources to do it. It is pertinent that I must learn by reading other people’s experiences. I now believe that it is the combination of reading of experiences and the doing of experiences that is the most helpful in learning.

 Banksy. Banksy is my favorite. I first heard of Banksy several years ago after watching a documentary of his called “Exit Through the Gift Shop”. Immediately I was inspired by his cunningly political graffiti art. His graffiti was unlike any graffiti art I’ve ever seen before. They weren’t just works splattered half hazardly on the side of a train, or a tag on the back of a street sign. No, his artwork has different motives than many of the other graffitists out there. Banksy is highly political, which is what pulls so much attention to him. 

The other day in class we talked a lot about how we are so cranked up over different political ideas such as capitalism, socialism, “institutionalized racism”, etc.  We are so opinionated and charged over different facets of our society. In many cases I believe it is because it has become part of our identity. Which is where art can really take advantage. When art and politics cross paths, that is when powerful things can happen, and change can occur. The power of Imagery is a tool that Banksy has master and uses to achieve his political agendas. The reason I think his art is especially special is because Banksy’s art is essentially reflecting a mirror back at a specific group/idea/thing in the society which makes it very satirical, ironic, and clever.

 This lead me to the thought of how much our society influences us. What if everything we create is a reflection of what our society has subconsciously trained us to think. I could see how one of the biggest factors in deciding how our brain is hardwired, even more than our parents, is the society that you are born into. Society engulfs us, swallows us whole, chews us out, and entraps us in the chains of our consciousness. Our lizard brains are baited by money, sex, and the American dream, with materials to mask our lonely souls. I can see how capitalism can ruin people. How it creates the illusion of freedom of choice.  

 Our self-image is a result of what we think our society thinks of us. We are either too thin, too fat, too wrinkly, too short, too tall, too stupid. There are just so many opinions that it becomes overwhelming. Sometimes I feel numb to the thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I am entrapped in this culture with no way out. The times that I feel the most “normal” are actually the times that I feel the most disgusted in myself. Because then, that means that I have stopped thinking for myself.