SUCK IT

this is literally my thought process like all of the time

guys people think that i think this is actually star trek i dont want to be remembered like this

set phasers to fruit salad 

Nicholas J Fury spent one weekend in the 90s hanging out with a cool lesbian and then spent the next twenty years trying and failing to find another superhero with her general degree of competence or emotional maturity

You know he was hoping for Roger’s to be that but then capcicle woke up and poor Fury realized Captain goddamn America was a 20-something yr old disaster bi, who, despite being a literal block if ice for 70 fucking years, doesnt know the definition of “Chill”

when i was in 3rd grade there was this girl named sydney who was really nice but everyone thought she was weird cause she was obsessed with horses and were kinda mean to her but anyways she let me borrow her aragon books an i could only read like 5 pages of that shit cause it was so boring, and she was like, i know you didnt read my aragon book, i mirror watched you last night and since then ive been absolutely fucking terrified

same year we had a zoo field trip, she and her mom offered to take me so i felt like i had to repay her so  i stole a fuck ton of snacks from everyones lunches while they were feeding the elephants then i asked her mom if we could eat in the canopy zone away from everyone else and i gave them all the snacks & her mom was like “are you a mischievous spirit that my daughter has befriended ??” i was like no im a third grader … right after that they moved. i think its my fault

They probably watch you occasionally to this day

she fucking better she said she would protect me from imps

why are his shoes on the wrong feet?

this kid just can’t catch a break