dat $ketchy b.

The Elsa Beaded

I have not much else to say other than I enjoy this printed blazer, plastic skirt, and block-heeled boots quite a lot. Also this fall, every moment is a moment I want to be wearing a turtleneck. I was shopping with my mom in Lord & Taylor recently, because moms are always like "UGHH LET'S GO TO LORD AND TAYLOR WITH YOUR GRANDMA AND YOUR DAD!!", and she was like, "I hate turtlenecks!!!" when I was holding a fistful of them. So if moms hate it, you know it must be hella cool!!!

The Elsa Scoopneck

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, or,

A Floral-Pantsed Blogger Drinks Beer in Brooklyn

Magazines this fall were all like, ok, you can still wear florals, but they have to be printed on a DARK BACKGROUND, like NAVY or BLACK!! So I'm doing a good job of listening to magazines here, but check out this morning glory bush, wearing purple on green and just not giving a single fuq about Vogue's opinion!! We should all aspire to be more like this morning glory bush as we go about our daily lives. A while ago, I was thinking, "Gee, I want a bulky orange-red sweater, in a weird shape, and it should be too big but also too small at the same time, and I want to wear it everywhere I go". Then, on my way to go buy a $25 lipgloss (yes, on purpose), I passed an H&M, and there was the knit-o'-my-dreams, just hangin' out in the window, so I bought it, and now I only take it off when I have my once-weekly coconut oil bubble bath. How effing serendipitous is that? I thought for sure I'd have to pay at least $6,000 to acquire an item this ugly!! 

magazine example A

magazine example B

magazine example C

JUST DO WHAT THEY SAY!!!

Seeing Blue

We can pretend it's still summer for a little longer, right? Even though we're all probably wearing sweaters at this point, #oops. 'Keeping it simple' is a virtue I am not overly familiar with, but by the end of the summer, I have either fully shed most of my style hang-ups and inhibitions in favor of staying cool, or have just become sort of lazy - which is where keeping it simple comes in handy. Why spend your precious free time primping your hair and perfecting your face, when you could be outside with friends, soaking up every last minute of sunshine? A simple yet bold dress and wet slicked hair is plenty of effort for a night out. Add a masculine touch with a single accessory, like this shiny-shiny navy Guess watch, and keep your makeup dewy and minimal.

How cute is this Edward-Scissorhands-type town?? I wandered towards a singular baby-pink house and was suddenly surrounded by a slew of them in various colors, with a private little entrance to a bayside beach. Let's ignore the fact that I eventually realized it's a private community and I was probably trespassing, but WHO WAS GONNA KICK OUT A BROAD IN THIS DRESS, HUH?!?

Floral slip dresses are so 90s, and also so easy and perfect for hot summer days. Clothes that are not really clothes - genius. Pair yours with some kick-off-able kicks, should you happen to encounter a beach you just need to sit upon, or, if someone starts chasing you out of a secret pastel neighborhood, you can take them off and run away faster. Or throw one as a diversion, this is kind of a "Choose Your Own Adventure" situation. 

silk floral slip dress

platform faux-rkenstocks

The gr8 Outd00rz

Summer is the time to just like, get out there and do stuff. You have to be ready to do the most at any given time, because it's the season of outdoor opportunity, outdoor the-world-is-your-oyster-ness, when EVERYTHING GLORIOUS HAPPENS THAT YOU WILL WANT TO *BECOME ONE* WITH AT THE DROP OF YOUR WIDE-BRIMMED STRAW HAT!!!

A gal on the go needs a sensible outfit that can go from the street to woods-y nature-communin' in seconds - like this zip-up pencil skirt, matching crop top turtleneck, and fruit purse! Even if I used 100% of my brain-thoughts to think for a million years, I don't think I could come up with a more appropriate outfit than this one for summertime kickin' around. Mainly because sneakers. Sneakers make you superhuman. You could be wearing an effing couture gown, like just GOING TO THE MET BALL NBD, and put on sneakers with it and you'd be like, does anyone want to have a quick hike to a picnic in the dirt before we leave? TNK U NORMCORE!!! <3 

top and skirt via ruby & scarlett williamsburg

fr00t purse

First Day of Summer Look: Oceanic Diva PRINCESSSSS

The Details

 I’ve been more into Earrings lately. Earrings with a capital E are decorative and meant to be seen, as opposed to a timid ass pair of studs doing their best to blend into your earlobe. Lately I’ve rediscovered this vintage coral pair in my collection, and the way they add summery color to my outfits has me pretty chuffed. They are best enjoyed whilst holding your own hair up in a faux-ponytail. I also like the 90’s club kid vibe this Makerbot fennec fox ring gives off, like an adult version of those plastic butterfly clips I used to apply liberally to my hair in a headband formation. I think it was Coco Chanel who said, keep your 90’s nostalgia-accessories to one finger only.

Coral drop earrings

Violent looking bracelet

Makerbot ring

You Say Jump, I Say, Ok But Am I Anja Rubik Yet?

Baggy jeans, flat sandals - look at this low-maintenance, comfort-based outfit, just a’Vogue-jumpin’ its way around dem Soho cobblestones! Seriously, how did all of us get duped into thinking skinny jeans were better than baggy ones? Baggy pants are the best. This pair is very entry-level baggy, a great pair for people who need to look cool but still have to go to work sometimes, like just dipping my big toe into the world of baggy pants, and they still r00L.  Did you know that ‘baggy’ is one of those words that starts to lose its meaning once you’ve typed it five times? Other points – I am addicted to black and white shoes. You may not realize how many different types of black and white shoes one person can own, until you come to my apartment and look in my shoe closet. “But they are all really different from each other,” I will tell you, as you begin to contemplate what separates an ‘avid collector’ from ‘just an actual hoarder’. The shirt is also important, because it’s green, and normally, the only kind of green I like 2 rock is IN MY WALLET!!* LMAO!! Stacks of hundos are your best fashion accessory!!!!

 *has approx. $2 - $5 in cash on her at any given time

Tropicalia crop top

Baggy white jeans

Black and white sandals