#joa

You met Joaquin almost 7 years ago when Sam first started to take on his role as Captain America. He was a young Lieutenant at the time. You had been hired by a small group of former S.H.E.I.L.D agents to run secrets OPs in several countries affected by the spread of the super soldier serum getting into the wrong hands.

That’s how you met Joaquin. You’d been held captive by high ranking members of an underground serum trafficking cartel and Joaquin’s squadron were the ones who got you out.

After things had been resolved with the Flag Smashers, you and Joaquin began talking more. A friendship slowly formed over time. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself but you started to suspect that you were falling in with him. That feeling was confirmed when you were called to take on a long term mission in London where a group of former Hydra scientists were developing a new serum and conducting illegal human testing.

It killed you to have to leave Washington DC and Joaquin behind, especially after the incident with Ross and Joaquin’s accident. You were told the mission would only last a few months, maybe longer. But it turned out to be a few years. Complications occurred almost as soon as you touched down in the UK. It was a never ending cycle of cat and mouse. The mission kept you running all over England, Scotland, Italy, Germany, and Russia.

At one point you were captured with two other recruits and held hostage in a bunker for 8 months.

Even after getting out, you had little time to contact friends back home, causing many of them to move on with their lives without you. You learned that the hard way when you returned home 3 years later.

* * * * *

You sat in the lobby of the airport waiting for Bucky to arrive. He was the only one who answered your texts, besides Sam who mentioned he was busy with meetings all afternoon. You obviously understood and you figured the reason Joaquin hadn’t answered was because he was in the same situation.

When you finally saw Bucky walk in you smiled and stood up. He came over and hugged you immediately “hey Kiddo, glad you made it home safe”

“Thanks, didn’t think I’d ever make it home. Had a few close calls” you mentioned

He helped you gather up the few bags you had went out to his truck. “Where are you staying now that you’re back?”

“I’m staying with Sam for a while, he said I could stay as long as I needed. Guess the new compound in DC is pretty nice” you said smiling.

You’d learned the hard way that while you were gone Sam and Bucky had been feuding over who could gather a better group of individuals to make up the next generation of The Avengers. They’d finally come to a conclusion that they were all better together than separated, so a new group was formed when Sam’s recruits and the Thunderbolts joined together. In addition to the Watchtower, a compound was constructed in DC as well as in Wakanda. Naturally Sam had invited you to stay at the compound in DC until you settled back in. You had hopes that someday you could integrated into the Avengers and work alongside them. For the time being, you were just happy to be home again.

“You’re gonna love it” Bucky said smiling “it’s really comfortable”

You smiled “Can’t wait” you mentioned “I’m looking forward to seeing Joaquin again, I missed him”

Suddenly Bucky’s face dropped a bit. You weren’t sure what that was about, but your guy twisted.

“About that….” He said quietly

“Is he okay? He’s not dead, is he?” You said feeling a bit panicked.

“No, no. He’s fine…it’s just. Well you’ll see” he said

“Oh…” was all you said. You weren’t sure what was going on, but you were about to find out.

He pulled into the entrance of the compound and scanned his fingerprint, opening the gate. The compound was huge, bigger than you expected. But suddenly you weren’t so excited about being here after Bucky’s cryptic message concerning Joaquin.

He pulled into the small parking area and got out, once again helping you with your bags. When you walked inside you took in the interior “wow, fancy” you said smiling.

It was sleek and modern, a lot different than the dreary government facilities you’d been in before. A lady at the front desk, whom you recognized as Valentina’s former assistant greater the two of you warmly.

“Welcome home Soldier” she said smiling at Bucky.

He smiled a genuine warm smile, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “Hey Mel, this is {y/n}. Sam is letting her stay here for a while”

“It’s nice to finally meet you!” She said smiling “glad you made it home in one piece. Sam has a room set up for you in the residential wing” you said handing you a card “if you need anything feel free to let me know”

“Thanks Mel” you said smiling. You had a hard time believing that such a kind person had once worked for Valentina, let alone put up with her bullshit.

“I’ll be back down in a bit” Bucky said to her smiling. She nodded and smiled back.

You followed Bucky to the elevator. Once the doors closed you raised an eyebrow at him “you’ve got it bad” you said.

“Excuse me?”

“Mel. I can tell you like her. Guess the Winter Soldier does have a soft spot” you said giggling.

“She’s just a good friend” he said softly

“Yeah, one who makes you blush” you said “also there was a twinkle in your eye” you said teasingly.

“Are you gonna act like this the whole time staying here?” He asked sarcastically

“Most likely” you said with a grin

He chuckled and rolled his eyes as he stepped out of the elevator when you got to the residential floor. You made your way to the room and unlocked the door with the key card. When you walked in you were greeted by a cozy atmosphere, one that felt unfamiliar to you after being on a mission for so long.

You placed your bags down on the floor and sat down on the plush bed.

“I’ll let you settle in, call if you need me” Bucky said with a smile.

“Will do, have fun with your girlfriend” you said with a sly smirk.

He chuckled and left the room, leaving you to unpack and finally relax. You didn’t have much. Just a few outfits, some books, and your laptop. Most of your things were in storage.

After organizing your things you laid down on the bed. It felt weird to be wrapped up in something so soft and comforting. Despite that you ended up dozing off, not realizing how tired you actually were.

You finally woke up when you heard your phone buzzing. It was a text from Sam saying that he had just gotten back to the compound.

* * * * *

You found yourself excitedly running down the hallway to the elevator. You were eager to finally see Sam again after 3 years. Just like Bucky, Sam had become like an older brother to you, a part of your chosen family.

When the elevator doors finally opened you saw Sam in the lobby with Isaiah and Ruth, whom you were also close to. Ruth was like your older sister who always knew right from wrong and led you down the correct path. Isaiah was very much the grandfather figure you never had in your life.

“Sam!” You said excitedly as you wrapped your arms around his neck in a hug you hadn’t realized you needed.

“Hey Kid” he said chuckling as he hugged you back “I’m so happy to see you back home in one piece”

You then proceeded to hug Isaiah and Ruth, who pointed out that you seemed thinner than before. You had lost weight, on your mission there was little time to eat, but it hadn’t affected your health. Now that you were home it would be easy to gain the weight back.

“Come on skinny bones, let’s go get you some dinner” Isaiah said jokingly.

“I wanna see Joaquin first” you said, desperate to finally see your favorite person again.

Just like Bucky had, they frowned a bit and went quiet.

“There’s something you should know Kid” Sam said softly

Just then Joaquin came in dragging his duffle bag. Your heart started racing when he made eye contact with you, but he didn’t look happy. He simply hoisted his bag over his shoulder and walked past you without a second glance.

You looked back at Sam, who then explained to you that after you’d been gone for several months Joaquin expected you to return home. As the days passed and months became a year, his attitude changed. Though he wasn’t sure why, Joaquin had grown irritated with you.

Your heart broke to hear the story.

And it continued to break the longer you lived at the Avenger’s DC compound.

* * * * *

You had been here for 5 months and your new normal became ignoring Joaquin and having frequent fights with him, most of them over something stupid or minor.

In addition to that you’d been having issues with getting acclimated back into normal life. You had frequent anxiety and bouts of depression. Your moods changed often and you felt like you were losing your mind.

Arguing with Joaquin didn’t help.

You didn’t understand what was going on with you until Bucky took you to see a doctor. You were diagnosed with PTSD, a harsh aftermath to the 3 years you’d spent on mission.

You were put on medication and had weekly therapy sessions. It helped a lot. What didn’t help was your stressful relationship with Joaquin.

That would be challenged even further a few months later.

* * * * *

It was the middle of winter and a huge storm hit the Northeastern Coast. It started with heavy winds and the temperatures dropped to below freezing. Within days a massive blizzard hit.

Most everyone at the compound was away on a mission, but unable to get back to DC due to the weather.

That left you with Joaquin.

Great.

As much as you couldn’t stand him, you missed him like crazy. You missed the way things were before. Before you left for London. You missed talking to him late into the night when you should have been sleeping. You missed his ‘good morning’ texts. You missed the way he’d leave random trinkets for you because they reminded him of you or he thought you’d like them.

Now all the two of you did was argue or ignore each other completely. You wanted to know why.

Against your better judgement you decided to go to his room. You hesitated at first but eventually knocked on the door.

“Joaquin?”

“What?” He asked, sounding a bit annoyed

“Can we talk?” You asked as nicely as you could

“I’m not in the mood”

“Please Joaquin? This is important”

“I said no”

You scowled “fine then, fuck you Joaquin!” You yelled, your voice cracking a bit as you couldn’t help but start crying.

You turned around quickly and stormed off to the common room. You collapsed onto the couch, tears streaming down your face. You rarely ever cried, except when you were angry.

You decided to turn on the TV hoping to distract yourself from how angry and hurt you were.

It did little to help.

You ended up shutting off the movie you’d put on and throwing the remote across the room, accidentally breaking a vase and knocking some paintings off the wall.

You curled up on the couch, blocking out the rest of the world. You didn’t even notice Joaquin walk into the room until you heard the mini fridge open. You didn’t look over at him, you just pretended he wasn’t there.

“Are you crying?” He asked

“Yes and it’s your fault so fuck off” you said

He sighed “I’m sorry”

“No you aren’t. You’ve been a dick to me since I got home.” You said “and I didn’t even do anything to you”

“You did though” he said sternly

“And what exactly did I do?” You asked angrily

“You left me. You left and you didn’t come back. I tried calling you. I texted everyday and I rarely got a response!”

“Joaquin I was busy, that mission was bullshit!” You retorted.

“You could have at least told me that you wouldn’t be able to contact me for a while!”

“I couldn’t! I was undercover, hiding out with the other recruits and traveling constantly to track down those Hydra assholes. Then I was held hostage for 8 months! I went through shit you couldn’t even imagine and when I finally got to come home all I thought about was seeing you again!” You said “and now we’re constantly fighting while I’m trying to recover from PTSD!!!”

The room was quiet for a minute or two. Joaquin sat down beside you and you scooted further away from him.

“I’m sorry {y/n}, I didn’t know…I was just hurt and…god I’m sorry”

“It’s gonna take more than ‘I’m sorry’ to get me to forgive you” you said getting up off the couch and heading back to your room.

* * * * *

The blizzard raged on for a few more days.

During that time Joaquin did everything he could possibly think of to get back into your good graces. He cooked you dinner, baked your favorite treats, and even started talking to you again. But for you, it wasn’t enough.

He had to work to regain your trust.

Honestly, it was really awkward being stuck with him in the compound. It got better once everyone returned home. But Joaquin still tried fixing the friendship he broke.

And one night he had his chance.

It was really late when you woke up in a cold sweat, your body shaking, and your chest heavy. You were having a panic attack.

You got up out of bed, not sure where you were headed, but hoping to find someone who could help you come down from the persistent anxiety.

You went down to Sam’s office, hoping that he’d be up late working. To your surprise Joaquin was the only one up still up. “Fuck…shit….Joaquin where is Sam?”

“He went to bed early, he had a long day” he said “are you okay?”

“I’m having a panic attack” you said starting to cry “shit….”

He got up from his desk and walked over to you “come on, let me help you” he said.

You didn’t argue, you couldn’t. You were too much in your own head at the moment. You followed him as he escorted you back to your room.

He helped you back into bed and grabbed your weighted blanket before opening the drawer where you kept your meds to get the emergency Xanax that you took when having panic attacks. He grabbed the Gatorade you had on the nightstand and gave you the pills. You took them before laying back in bed.

“Do you need anything else?” he asked

“Don’t leave me…” you said softly. You tended to be really clingy when you were in situations like this.

He nodded and sat beside you in bed. You instinctively reached over and grabbed his hand like you did to Sam or Bucky when they helped you through panic attacks. He squeezed your hand every few minutes to help you stay grounded.

Eventually your meds kicked in and you started to calm down, becoming really tired. You were having a hard time staying awake and Joaquin noticed.

“Go to sleep {y/n}, I’m not going anywhere, I’ll stay all night if you let me”

You nodded and rolled over, your head landing on his shoulder. As you dozed off you felt his hand squeezing yours, a gentle reminder that he was still there.

* * * * *

The next morning you woke up early, Joaquin still asleep beside you. The two of you had shifted in the middle of the night. You were now lying on his chest and his arms were wrapped gently around you.

You smiled a bit, your head still hurting from the night before, but happy that Joaquin kept his promise.

You lay there on his chest for a for few minutes before he stirred awake. You looked up at him “morning”

“Morning” he said, a cute sleepy smile on his face. “How are you feeling?”

“Better” you said

“Still mad at me?”

You shook your head “no. I technically never was, just disappointed that you hated me so much”

He sighed “yeah, it was stupid. I shouldn’t have acted that way, I hustled felt…abandoned”

You nodded “I get that, but we should have talked about it”

It was silent for a minute. Neither of you knew what to say.

“{y/n}? Can I tell you something?” He asked

“Of course”

“I think I love you” he said blushing a bit “you being gone for so long made me realize how much I needed you in my life. And maybe I wasn’t mad at you, but at myself for not telling you before you left”

You smiled softly “Joaquin, I’ve been in love with you since the day you saved me from that bunker in Romania”

“Really?”

You nodded and leaned up to kiss his cheek softly. “I thought of you every day while I was in Europe. I’d fall asleep on a hard floor wishing I could be in a soft bed in your arms. I only survived those 3 years in hell so I could come home to you”

He smiled and pulled you in for a kiss. It was soft and sweet, everything you ever hoped kissing him would feel like. It lasted a few minutes before you finally both pulled away. Things were seriously about to change between the two of you.

You smiled and sighed happily “thank you for taking care of me last night”

“I’m gonna spend the rest of my life taking care of you”