feels like a party everyday

please, dear audience, fill this out. for science

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

they want you to care more about 'job' than yuri... don't fall for this scam

locked the fuck out. distractionmaxxing

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

Europe and America passing the heat wave back and forth is so cute of us. Let’s do healthcare next.

i don't go there but i don't mind the postcards

it's good for your mental health to have mutuals who are wildly horny about kinks which do nothing at all for you

Also primes you for awareness that there are a lot of people who like a lot of things you don’t like or even that make you uncomfortable, and that is okay, has nothing to do with their character, and is also none of your business.

It’s always good practice. Remember that minding your own business costs $0 and has numerous health benefits.

“Having freaky friends to immunise you against moral panic” is a take so good I can’t believe I don’t hear it more often.

"I have been attending the Devil's sacrament with you perverts for three weeks straight and you haven't awakened a fucking thing in me."