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@thatgirldanny

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The first time I heard an adult say the f word was when I was in fourth grade and we were doing some project that involved us baking cookies together as a class. My teacher Ms. Lindsey, who was real sweet, was demonstrating for everybody and she asked if anyone knew how to crack an egg, and I really didn’t know how to crack an egg, but I’m a go-getter, so I raised my hand and she called on me. I instantly knew I was in trouble at that point but I’d seen my dad crack eggs hundreds of times so I figured, ya know, it can’t be thaaaat hard. So I grab the egg but I have no sense of how softly you’re supposed to tap an egg to crack it, so I just slam it against the desk and splatter raw egg ten feet in every direction and my teacher said “what the fuck, Dion?”
When you’re writing aND YOU CAN’T FIND THE RIGHT WORD
http://chir.ag/projects/tip-of-my-tongue/
you’re welcome
*reblogs for later reference*
I’M IN THE MIDST OF WRITING A BOOK WHERE HAS THIS POST BEEN ALL MY LIFE
Reblog to save a life
#ref
This is so cute and calming

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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She wants to dance like uma thurman
itemfinder
💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃
WHY IS THERE MORE OF THIS??!?!
“Spideypool Bromance”
Today I fucked up...by trusting a “hot local single in my area” on a dating app
Greatest/worst thing ever just happened to me, so buckle up folks..it’s story time:
Girl on a dating app tells me in the first few messages that I’m really cute (true) and interesting (also true) and asks me to meet her at 1140am for coffee at a random McDonald’s. When I ask if she’s a 45 year old man trying to harvest my organs, she proceeds to send me 15 pictures in a row that look like they’re straight from Facebook. Because that’s how you convince somebody you’re real (not true).
Now normally I don’t accept propositions like this because I’m thinking “what’s the catch?” Well, I decide to live a little on the YOLO side…and since it’s right next to a Subway Sandwich shop I think that the worst that could happen is it’s a 45 year old lonely man, I give him a big hug because I know the feeling as a 25 year old lonely man, get a tasty sandwich, then go home. Apparently that was NOT the worst thing that could happen.
I show up. She shows up. She’s real. I’m surprised. I buy her coffee because I subscribe to traditional gender roles unless requested otherwise. She uses her McCafe frequent buyers card so she gets stamps. Its cute. While the guy is making her drink, she tells me to go find a table outside in the sun. I go outside and find the perfect goddamn table because I’m a romantic at heart. 5 minutes later. 10 minutes later. 15 minutes later. No girl. I text her the typical guy message “lol u get lost???”. No response. Turns out she took the coffee and left.
So I’m not saying it’s bad to leave a date if you feel uncomfortable or aren’t attracted to them. It’s totally your decision. But I don’t think that’s the case…I think this girl is a serial McCafe dater. And I don’t think this was her first time. It was too professional. Too clean. It was the perfect McHeist. And I’m starting to think I’m not even mad…she didn’t steal my credit card, or my organs. Just a few euros.
And my heart.
I’m trying to stop being a hater but it’s just so hard……..when there are so many things………….that need my hate
IT FITS SO WELL IM SCREAMING
NOW I CANT LISTEN TO THE SONG W/O THINKING THIS TF

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Today, I fucked up... by calling a locksmith when I was “locked out” of my car
I’ll preface this by saying I’m usually not a stupid man but I was at the end of my third 16 hour shift in a row and I was very tired. I’ll make this quick:
I got off work, went out to my car, hit the button for the doors on my remote unlocker - as usual. Nothing happened. I tried it a few more times, battery must be dead. I stand there for 10 minutes, mashing the little button, hoping for enough juice to open the doors. Nada.
I call a locksmith, explain that I’m locked out of my car. He says he’ll be right over. 20 minutes later he arrives. He walks up with his tools, inserts a thing that looks like a blood pressure cuff in the door jamb. He starts making conversation as it inflates, pushing the door open:
“So locked your keys in the car? No problem sir, I’ll have it open in a minute.”
“No, my keys are right here, my key fob is dead.” I replied.
He stops and for about 10 seconds. Doesn’t say a word. He sees my keys in my hands. Takes them from me, inserts them in the lock and opens the door.
I was mortified. I was so in a habit of opening the doors with my remote fob that I entirely forgot that keys could be used to unlock cars manually. He started laughing so hard I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. After he stopped laughing, he told me there was no charge. The story he’d have to tell was worth the drive out.
HoLy FuCk
1) I LOVE HIS ACCENT. IT’S BEAUTIFUL.
2) PLEASE WATCH THIS. I LITERALLY HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE. YOU WILL NOT REGRET THIS. JUST WATCH X’D
GOALS FOR THE SUMMER:
Capture the avatar
Regain my father’s pride and my spot on the throne
Bring back my honor
#atla
honestly even if dick was mentioned ONCE in the movie even if someone like alfred or bruce just said his name ONCE in conversation i would be satisfied for a hundred years i would be grateful.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
This is so satisfying
you: that is a nice ass shirt
me: thank you but, to be honest, its called “pants” and not an “ass shirt”
thanks for enjoying this joke, everyone