stealer of pens and of hearts

🇵🇸don’t forget to do your daily clicks!🇵🇸

Crawling out of my grave to rub my eyes sleepily, grimace, and crawl back in for another five minutes. 

southern american politicians will be like "m'name's buck bingo and i'm a hard worker...... just like y'all" and he's an private school + ivy league educated guy actually named buckley beaumont carlisle who was born into a family who owned slaves and still profits from it to this day. and people eat that shit up.

last night i went on a crazy wikidive lol

getting fixated on something is funny because the first like week i have an insatiable need to tell everyone i know about it and spread the good word but by weeks 2 and 3 it becomes so intense and personal that even hearing it mentioned in public makes me sweat as if a dark secret was alluded to

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

in the searched field. straight up "homoing it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My sapients

sorry liberals, there are only three sexualities: homo, pan, and gorilla

THE BOTTOM IS A PAINTING????

also does a really good job reminding the view just how much air quality has improved since we stopped burning coal in every building lol

confused calvinist, 6 months after conversion: so when will my plush tiger start talking

One of my favorite tiktok niches that was created by people so bored they’re barely alive is that there’s a whole diet soda community where they believe everything you do greatly effects the way diet soda tastes and there are very specific methods of serving it to make sure you get the right flavor as if it’s an expensive steak or something. but the best part is they believe how long you leave it in the fridge is the most important part in all of it, which they call, “marinating”

diet cola fan here. our world contains multitudes you cannot fathom

This fourth of July, I want to take some time to be grateful for the thing that makes us, a nation, so special. Something that we have, which few other countries- even the richest- have managed to achieve. Something that we should remember to take pride in, despite our faults: household air conditioning