Dizzy Doris and the Cucking Fats

So the positivity of the last post didn't last long!

I started having panic attacks and quickly lost four stone; I'm now back at my 'slimming world' lowest weight. You'd think I'd be happy with that, but I've NEVER lost weight 'naturally' I gain a couple of pounds just looking at a cream cake! Add to that the crippling panic attacks, it was time to visit the docs. Already on a strong dose of antidepressant, she was reluctant to change my prescription, so she sent me to 'the vampires' for blood tests. Amongst other things, my thyroid was being tested. I did the one thing they tell you not to, I looked it up on line! I self diagnosed an overactive thyroid and convinced myself it was that. So nothing prepared me for a healthy thyroid levels and more than double levels for liver function!

I think after repeating myself 6 times, "I DON'T DRINK." the doctor actually believed me. I used to drink like a fish, the strict drink and drugs policy on the railway meant I was a binge drinker. But for 3/4 years I just don't drink, I didn't like the person I became once alcohol was added and got fed up of waking up the next day wondering how the hell I got home! So I just cut it out. So I'm now waiting for a liver scan. In 18 months I've developed a dodgy brain, heart and now liver!

Add to that, a family member has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, she's no older than my boys. And another family member attempting suicide TWICE, the black dog moved in. The only place I wasn't having panic attacks was my bedroom. Even editing videos for the newly launched YouTube channel caused 'running around like a headless chicken' mode to go into overdrive.

One of my bezzie mates suggested I look up the 'black dog of depression' and it was so enlightening! So I'm now a 'little' more aware of its proximity and trying to keep it on a leash. Friends I was shutting myself away from, I've been honest and explained how I'm feeling. And they've been so understanding. And at the weekend I AM going to edit and upload the video for Monday! I've so many ideas for crochet videos, I need more hours in the day. I've made 2 full size baby blankets whilst ive been self imprisoned in my room! I now need to learn how to set up my website, so I can sell the patterns!

I've been productively twiddling my fingers!

So reboot number 1,000,001 is currently running, here's hoping

Hi again!

As the title says, sorry it’s been so long! The black dog of depression has been in control.

Since I last blogged, a few things have happened. We’ve gone through a cancer scare with Mum, my eldest has passed his CBT and has in own set of wheels, my youngest and his adorable lady have bought their own home, The Hooligans have recovered from losing their ‘fun bags’, Harley is now acting as 'Dad’ to them both and, we’ve just passed the first anniversary of Dad passing.

So I’ve decided I’m going to turn his anniversary as a turning point. I’m recovering from the kick up the arse I’ve given myself and decided to not only blog again, but start a YouTube channel! “That Cucking-Fat” goes live on Sunday, with my first crochet tutorial being posted on Monday. I’ve made the sample piece, just got to film making another one!

It looks a bit 'ropey’ at the moment, but it is literally 'hot of the hook’. I’m also designing my own stuff, to be filmed at a later date.

The channel isn’t just about crochet, I have a plan … honest! I’ll be uploading 3 times a week.

’Make it Monday’ will start with crochet, but I will move on to other crafts once I’m more confident. And, if possible, viewers will be able to watch me learn new crafts from scratch, including Dizzy Doris teaching me to use a sewing machine and make my own curtains!

’Family Friday’ will be a catch up on the family, vlogging about whatever life throws our way.

’Caturday’ will be all about Harley n the Hooligans. Not just cute videos on their craziness, but plans include health and welfare too.

And I haven’t forgotten where I 'left’ Dizzy Doris in my last post, but the black dog needs to be firmly booted out before I can continue her journey.

Anyway, that’s it for now. Thanks for sticking around.

Until next time

Dotty xxx

Here’s the link, if you’re interested!

Harley has told me, if I don’t write on a thing called a blog, he’s going to eat all my Dreamies.  I don’t know what I’m doing so I hope I get it right.

It’s been a horrible week. On Fednesday we had to go to the doctor again.  Doris said one of us had ‘the shits’,what ever they were. We had to go in a noisy box, called a taxi.  Even the hoomans don’t like it.  Apparently it’s stressful to load up two walkers, a cat box, Dizzy Doris and Dippy Dotty. If they’re lucky they get a helpful driver and they don’t have to do it all for themselves. Dotty get’s cross with Doris because she’s more concerned with putting her keys away than doing her seat belt up!  Why do they do it to themselves?

If it wasn’t bad enough doing the journey on Fednesday, we had to back on Cryday! AND, Dizzy took all our food away Purrsday night! Dotty said it was because we was habin an hoperation. We were going to be knackeress! It didn’t sound too good, whatever it was called.  As well as being starbin, we weren’t allowed out to play! Harley kept looking through the big window and teasing us.  Just you wait big boy.  We’ll get you back!

We really have to learn to be smarter.  Dotty had crowshayed two of the softest blankets eba. And when we went to hexplore them, she shut the door on the cat box. Foiled again!  For the first time eba, we weren’ together. So now we were alone, locked in the boxes and starbin!  We tried to be clever, but no matter how hard we pushed the blankets up against the door, it wouldn’t open.

By the time we got to the doctors, we were in a right state.What was even scarier, we didn’t go home with Dizzy and Dotty, instead we were taken to another room with lots of animals/  The doctor gave us something that made us sleepy.  When we woke up, it felt like we had overdosed on catnip. Everything was fuzzy and warm, or maybe that was just the blankets.

The rest of Cryday is a bit of a blur and boy did we wake up with a surprise on Caturday! Not only was something missing, but the pain was horrific! After we had full tummies we felt very sleepy again. I heard Dizzy tell Dotty there was medsin in our food. The medsin was like very strong cat nip, mmmmmmmm. Today we’re feeling much better! We had Dizzy ducking on the sofa as we chased each other. Dotty came around and was so pleased we liked our blankets, I had to gib her one of the nose kisses she lubs so much. And we’re back on proper food again today, although I heard something about being weaned off the cat meat! Oh No! To many changes, I don’t like this growin up stuff. I’m hoping Dizzy let’s us out tomorrow, Harley looked really funny trying to avoid the white stuff. He looked so miserable when he came in. He’s just a grumpalump, we can’t wait to hexplore! Dotty said she might take a bideo?

See you Mewsday, lots of purrs and kisses, 😻 Toffee 😻