I was a 21-year-old using a mobility aid and in horrible amounts of pain. I’d just been diagnosed with a degenerative genetic disorder, and the number of people who told me things like the above…. Hoo boy. There was a good stretch of time where this was a major contributing factor in the persistent suicidal ideation that plagued my early and mid-twenties. OP is absolutely right that no one should ever fucking say this shit to young disabled people. It fucks you up real bad, and chronic pain and chronic illness already do a great job of that on base.
But ALSO: It’s not necessarily true that your pain will only increase as you age.
I’m 32 now, and I am actually in significantly less pain day to day than I was at age 21. My condition hasn’t really gotten any better, nor have the treatments for it really improved. But as I’ve gotten older, my ability to manage my condition has improved by leaps and bounds.
I’m kinder and gentler with myself. I’ve learned what it feels like when my body is about to pull a Shenanigan™️ and how best to take preemptive action. I know what pain meds I need to take and when. I have learned what the indications are for “I need to rest now” and how to enforce my boundaries when someone tries to push me beyond my body’s limits. I know what mobility aids work best for me under what circumstances and the most effective ways to use them. I now know the ways in which I can safely move my body. I’ve had the chance to stock just about any kind of brace I might need, and I’ve learned how best to recover if I overdo it or have a flare. Over the years, I’ve accumulated a huge repertoire of tools and resources that vastly improve my quality of life.
When I was 21, I dreaded getting older because I thought it could only mean more pain. I was wrong about that, and so was everyone who condescended to “joke” about it. Getting older also means gaining more wisdom, experience, and knowledge to help make the pain and illness more manageable.
That trade-off? It’s worth it.
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