TextingMayham_

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*the JLA holding a super important strategy meeting in the batcave*

Batman: -the main priority is to ensure the safety of the surrounding area even in the case of a fight, so we’ll have people stationed around the perimeter just in case. Hood, can you grab me the signal flares from the store room? you’re closest.

Red Hood, walking over: *grunts*

Batman: *continues to explain his plan as in the background Jason walks into the store room, pauses, and then promptly walks right back out*

Red Hood: *sweetly, from the doorway* Robin?

Robin: mm?

Red Hood: would you like to go into the store room for me? my darling, favourite brother-mine?

Robin:

Robin, eyes half-lidded: is there a spider in there?

Red Hood: maybe.

Robin, sighing in exasperation as he starts walking over: you really need to start trying to deal with these yourself, Hood. you can’t call me every time-

The Flash, watching Damian emerge with a small spider in the palm of his hand while Jason refuses to come out of the corner of the cave: doesn’t that guy chop peoples heads off sometimes…?

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*Aquaman, on a mission with Nightwing and Batman, on a platform in the middle of the ocean*

Aquaman: if you have your rebreathers then you can follow me down, it’s not too deep a dive to the site.

Nightwing: *staring into the water* mhm.

Batman: *watching Nightwing in amusement*

Aquaman: …Nightwing, are you ok?

Nightwing, still staring: oh- hm? yep. yep, i’m good. i’m- yeah. lets go. lets do this.

Aquaman:

Batman: he has thalassophobia. he doesn’t like deep, empty waters.

Aquaman:

Nightwing: *staring down*

Batman: *faux shoves Dick forward, as if to push him in*

Nightwing, shrieking and jumping back: bRUCE- I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT-

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Superman: the victim’s in that room, if you need to examine the body.

Red Robin: got it, thanks.

Red Hood: so what actually happened to the guy?

Superman, as Tim leaves: well, it seems like the virus infects the mind and causes intense delusions. we think he was driven crazy and ended his own life. it’s… not pretty in there. he stabbed himself in the eye with a pencil.

Red Hood: *whistles* *pauses* wait. in the eye?

Superman: yeah. why?

Red Hood:

Red Robin: *slams out of the other room, falls to his knees vomiting*

Superman:

Red Hood, watching Tim calmly: yeah he’s got this thing about things in peoples eyes?

Superman:

Superman: really?

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Green Arrow: shit, that’s a nasty scratch you got there, Bats. right across the eye, too.

Batman: *grunt*

Green Arrow: who’d you fight to get it?

Batman: Robin.

Green Arrow:

Green Arrow: Damian did that?

Batman: hn.

Green Arrow: …why?

Batman: he had a cavity and i had to take him to the dentist.

Green Arrow:

Batman: he’s scared of the dentist.

Green Arrow: wasn’t he raised by the league of assassins?

Batman: he’s scared of the dentist.

Beautiful things on WhatsApp tonight

like she would do that. in a world where cass isn't mute at all she just doesn't wanna talk to people because people are idiots. except then the bats assume its mutism or some shit and she finds that so funny shes like 'hell yeah guess im mute'. and then they start trying to text her and shes like. fuck. i still don't wanna talk to these people. so she just starts only speaking in emoticons and memes.

'cass i thought you were mute not illiterate'

'mind your fucking business timothy.'

How many times DID Neil say “I’m Fine”?

(when he obviously wasn’t)The Foxhole Court:Total- 8 times(One line is “I’m fine on my own.” but I’ll still count it since the words came from him)

The Raven King:Total- 9 times(3 other times they were commenting on the fact that he was not, in fact, fine.)

The King’s Men:Total- 13 times(He says “I’m fine with anything”, “I’m fine to play”,  "Andrew already said I’m fine", and “Right now I’m fine, I think”)

GRAND TOTAL OF OUR BOI SAYING HE’S FINE: 

Some kevin x andrew and kevin x Jean for the heart

So Neil is mentioned to read the news and shit like that in other languages to keep practicing so he doesn’t forget it. And we know he is also a) an overthinking anxious freak and b)a trust issues ridden weirdo

i think sometimes Neil needs to ramble and talk to himself to work through his thoughts or emotions but that’s vulnerable and he doesn’t wanna be overheard by just anyone, so he goes on these long rants in foreign languages to get it all out while also knowing nobody can understand him and keep practicing his languages

and it becomes this quirk or habit thay he can’t kick, so he just will randomly speak to himself in spanish or french or german like “y las llaves?” (“where did i leave the keys?”)

and Andrew picks up on this, he doesn’t realize what Neil is doing until Neil happens to do it in German and Andrew gets it. and he wasnt gonna ask Neil about it but it just. keeps. happening. so he caves in and during one of their Honesty Thing™️ games he asks. And Neil says he just does it to maintain the language. and that’s that. except it’s not.

Andrew slowly starts to learn Spanish and French from this, because hey eidetic memory right? so maybe he google translates a thing or two but for the most part, it just sorta happens. he always ignored Kevin when he rambles in french but now he starts listening and filing away verb tenses and vocab.

Andrew starts to understand more and more and now he knows exactly what Neil is rambling about which helps Andrew know what Neil needs. And Neil keeps being shocked at how well Andrew must know him because he always does or says the right thing to help him feel better.

and one day Neil is studying for some spanish exam and Andrew wants to just go to bed and Neil refuses to leave the desk so Andrew just switches to spanish and goes “Sí vamos a la cama te hablo en español para que practiques” (if we go to bed I’ll speak spanish so you can practice”)

and Neil has this ???wtf since when do you speak spanish??? moment and Andrew just shrugs it off and kisses him. and the next morning when Neil is not being deeply distracted by Andrew he teases Andrew asking if he learned for him. And Andrew, who never lies but does tweak the truth like a motherfucker, says no. because technically he didn’t right? memorizing is different.