Jakov :)

he's a one man security team. he's a drum major. he's the world's greatest event planner. he's an immersive theatre girly. he's doing award show jokes with an evil robot. he's trapped in a bathroom getting smacked with a trombone. i didn't say a name but he popped into your head didn't he?

gilgamesh is the bigger man than me because if a snake ate my flower that grants immortality that i wanted to use for myself i wouldn't touchingly come to peace with my own mortality and the mortal legacy i leave behind. i would be like if there was a flower that could make me immortal maybe there are other ways

it must feel good as fuck to put your penis inside of an entire car when youre a dragon

you arrive at work (hungry, as usual) excited for more under-tarp sex with your work husband only to find that he's not there. when you ask your boss about it he berates you. you talk to your only remaining work friend about it, but he blames you for not being able to be with his not-work wife and then kills himself. you decide to seek out the treasure map hidden by your other dead work friend. the treasure is your work husband's not-work wife, who is currently trapped in work hell. you're trying to memorize the directions in your darkened office (no work is being done). and then elon musk walks in

crazy how in this episode mark was helly’s dead wife

dylan kills himself. irv flees the state. milchick tells his boss to eat shit. mark goes outside for the second time ever. episode of all time.

she’s unhinged she’s religiously traumatized she’s a child soldier she’s a genius she’s 5’1 and commands every room she walks into she’s middle-aged she’s good with babies she’s bad at baking she’s a horrifying driver and she has never done anything wrong in her life

Every week Severance is like here’s an hour of some of the most fucked up implications that have ever haunted your television screen, with some of the most gorgeous cinematography & acting you’ve ever seen, that will make you experience the entire spectrum of human emotion all at once. And then I have to go to work the next day.

you wait all week in eager anticipation to spend one hour staring at your screen with your mouth open in abject horror and then it ends and you get to wait again. now thats television.

severance is so scary i hope jobs arent real