on the sly

“Be a good steward of your gifts. Protect your time. Feed your inner life. Avoid too much noise. Read good books, have good sentences in your ears. Be by yourself as often as you can. Walk. Take the phone off the hook. Work regular hours.”

“Being what you are looks like this: You enter every room as a calm, neutral observer. You are average. You don’t have an agenda. Your only job is to listen and observe and offer your support. Your only job is to watch and learn and allow room for yourself, even when you don’t say a word, even when you don’t look that good, even when you seem useless. There you are, giving yourself the right to be without running or hiding or dancing. That is grace. It matters.

“woman never under your thumb, says skull that was a head, says bloodshot eyes, says I’m the Kali woman the killer woman women with salt on her tongue fire that cleans fire that catches fire burns hotter as I go woman traded her secrets never, says woman reversed the poles, says woman never left America to know this but she did, says, she did leave woman combs snakes out of her hair woman combs demons out of her hair woman lies down with the cobra then meditates under cobra canopy woman had a bone in her throat, says was it yours? says she admits she has a taste for you, says she’s cannibal woman, Kali woman woman’s tongue once split in ten directions one: I’m a savage woman two: I’m the rutting woman three: I’m the fire dancer with coal-black feet four: Im the old-time thinker five: poseur woman six: I’m the redacteur seven: auteur eight: I haunt you with my songs nine: I was the nun now I am bound by desire again ten: I’m the cittipatti woman the dancing-skull woman mouth is moving, says skull-mouth moving, says says these things says terrible things as I go mouth is gaping tongue is bleeding everywhere suffering, as I go I’m the celebrity woman I’m the luminary woman I’m the standout woman I’m the braggart woman I’m the shrew at the window woman I’m the stigma woman the beaten woman the disgraced woman hag woman where will I go? who will have me? water clean me water clean me, as I go I’m the camouflaged woman I’m the assuaged woman I’m the ravenous woman I’m the Kali Yuga woman high-pitched woman not a trifling woman hissing woman I’m the woman with the fangs I’m the woman with the guns I’m the woman with tomes I’m the hook woman I’m the stolen book woman fire that burns as I go woman was in the world was walking woman was singing sounding the day away sounds like a cranky old machine, someone said (that someone was a mean man, mean child-man) but she just ignored the cranky old machine part & went on her way woman took her haughty self out of the sky she had a nose that tall how tall? that! & stuck up it was mincy mincy mincy mincy she cried mincy mincy mincy she was burning all right her house (the one she carried on her head) was afire”