KASPER ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

the surgeon doing my bottom surgery told me they're crafting my shit out of leftover scrap metal and rusty cogs

And like who the fuck is this guy [gestures to reflection in mirror alone in bathroom

More like Kermit the SLUT put some CLOTHES on you saucy little PERVERT

I hardly jeff the know ‘er

if someone says its pronouns are it/its, remember that means its pronouns are it/its!! respect your local it/its user today and get its pronouns right!!

that’s kamala harris

by the way. it never is too late to decide you want to be happy. the woman who helped me get hormones didnt start hers until she was 70, and i met her at 73, beautiful and smiling - and told me that the last three years of her life had been her favorite. your favorites might be ahead of you too. why not hang around and find out?