Tessa-thoughts. ♥

Conversations shrink to schedules and chores. 

Meals are eaten together but in silence.

Phones become the new partner.

There's no curiosity left about each other's lives.

Touch fades, even a hug feels awkward.

They stop making plans together - weekends feel like just another weekday.

No fights, no passion, just polite distance.

Two people, living under one roof but carrying separate worlds inside. 

Happy happy 7th Birthday, my love! 😊🎂🎉

As you turn 7 today, memories of when I carried you back home in my arms. I remember the time the doctor held you up to show me how you looked, I remember the time when the nurse placed you on my chest and in my arms for the first time and you flicked your eyes, i felt overwhelmed, that in an instant I forgot the gruelling 11 hours of labour. It was magical and even though I didn't realized it then, that moment changed my life forever. ❤️

From then on, till now, I have grown as a parent, I have made mistakes (who doesn't), I have floundered, I have felt guilty but I have tried, I have honestly tried hard to parent you well. And when you grow up, Kuya Ajie, I hope you will realize that every moment of every day, Mommy had you and your best interest in my mind and heart, even when i was disciplining you and even when you said you never want to talk to me, ever! 😂😁

I hope you will realize one day, that Mommy tried to always cherish you with love and do whatever to make you happy! 😊❤️ And even though Mommy cannot be physically with you all the time- (mommy needs to work) and i need to let you go sometimes, to let you be on your own, make your own friends, take your own small decisions and fight your own, but i promise i will always be here protecting you & nijel from everything and everyone who can hurt you! 👊🏻

Today is a day of celebration and I want to celebrate the joy of being your mother and of you being my son, my firstborn. 👦🏻😘 I want to celebrate all the moments, the moments you have made me so proud, the moment you said something really sweet and made my day. Yes we have had moments filled with anger and disappointments and angst but which relationship doesn't? And this is a relationship which is as pure as the first toothless smile you gave me 7 years back! 😊❤️ So I hope you will cherish this love in your heart forever just as I will today and forever.

My only wish for you today is that you grow to be a successful man you choose to become and good health always.😘

Happy Birthday, Kuya! I love you! ❤️

Love,

Happy happy 4th birthday to the most special little boy in my life. 👶🏻🎂🎉

I can’t believe you are already four years old, bunso. It seems like just yesterday you entered this world. Even though you have grown so much since then, I am struck by just how little you are in so many ways. 👶🏻❤️ I love you with all of my heart, Nijel. More than you will ever know, you and your kuya. You are my little man and I don’t know where I would be today without you.

Thank you for making my life complete. Thank you for loving me even when I am not perfect. Thank you for letting me see the world through your eyes. It’s a magical world and I’m so lucky to be a part of it bunso. 😘❤️

My only wish for you today, is same with your kuya, that you grow to be a successful man you choose to become and Good health always. 😘

I love you with my whole heart and soul, bunso. I am so, so proud of the boy you have become. 😊

Love,

I’m sorry for being moody. I’m sorry for not letting a week pass by without riding my mood swing. I don’t like being this way but it seemed like I will always be even for all the wrong reasons. I’m sorry for getting mad at the simplest of things that you do, and I’m even more sorry for being mad at you for no particular reasons, too. 😁🤣✌🏻

I’m sorry for getting sad and emotional most of the time, and I’m sorry for entertaining this feeling and making it worse by doing so. I’m sorry that you have to go through all these with me but I promise to be extra patient when it’s your turn to be the moody one.

I’m sorry for worrying too much. I’m sorry for worrying about a lot of things—things that normal people don’t worry about, and things that I should actually be worrying about in the future. I will have anxiety attacks and will fret ten times a day, and I’m also sorry about that. I will think of my career and your career, whether we’re doing well or bad, and worry about the obstacles that we have to face. 💪🏻👨🏻‍🍳👩🏻‍💻💏

I will ask you to assure and reassure things for me. I will ask you to tell me that you love me and that you are in love with me over and over again, until I find it too cheesy that I forgot all my worries. Most of all, I will ask you to hold me when I worry because only in your arms will I find comfort. ❤️

I’m sorry for the times when I make you feel like I push you away. I want you to know that each time I try to take a step back, it’s not because I want to leave you or I want you to leave me; it’s because you are too beautiful to be inside my mess. If you love me you will wait and if you truly love me you will understand.

You will understand that I may reject you but that’s because it’s how much I want you in my life. You will understand that I am a work in progress and part of my growth is to help myself be the person I strive to be. You will understand that I have a war inside my heart and your love is the peace that I need.

Lastly, I’m sorry but I will love you too much. In spite all my shortcomings, this is my vow to you: I will love you with all my heart. I will love you even when I’m moody; for I may feel happy or sad or mad or extremely emotional but my greatest feeling will always be my love for you. I will love you because if there is one thing that I wouldn’t worry about, it’s the love that I have for you—and hopefully yours for me. ❤️

I will love you most when I try to push you away because doing so reassures our love for each other; I have so much love for you that I wouldn’t be able to bear bringing you along in the storm inside me, yet you have so much love for me that you would be willing to.

For all these, more than all my apologies, I would like to thank you. Thank you for being understanding. Thank you for being patient. And thank you for being the home I always need whenever I encounter a storm. But mhine, know this: when the time comes that it’s your turn to give me all these feelings, I will be here. I will be by your side, holding your hand, reminding you that you are loved.

I will do my best to try to save you from all the pain, and when I fail, I will still be here, taking the pain with you. I will be beside you for all the mornings and the nights—and the dusks and dawns in between—looking at your face because I know in my heart that it’s the only thing in the world that I could look at without worrying about a thing.

You keep saying she's too emotional... too sensitive... too distant...

But have you ever stopped and asked why she's reacting that way?

A woman doesn't shut down for no reason.

She doesn't cry for no reason.

She doesn't go quiet, pull away, or "overreact" without cause.

Her reactions are not the problem.

They're the symptoms.

They are her soul's way of saying:

"I'm hurting, and I don't feel safe to say it anymore."

If she's pulling away, it's because she no longer feels heard.

If she's raising her voice, it's because she's begged you in silence and nothing changed.

If she's shutting down, it's because every time she opened up, you dismissed her pain.

You call her toxic—

but maybe she's just exhausted from trying to be everything while being treated like nothing.

You say she's too much—

but maybe you gave her too little for too long.

Here's the truth:

She's not asking for perfection.

She's asking for presence.

For respect.

To feel seen and valued, not just needed.

So before you judge her reactions—

Check your own actions.

Because real love is not about pointing fingers.

It's about taking responsibility.

Here's what you need to understand about women:

Resentment doesn't show up as anger-it shows up as distance.

Let me break it down:

When we don't feel emotionally connected, We withdraw. Not because we don't care-but because connection feels unsafe.

When our efforts go unnoticed, We feel invisible. Appreciation isn't a luxury— it's our oxygen.

When you say things you don't follow through on, We lose trust. And trust is the bedrock of safety, desire, and love.

When arguments get swept under the rug, We store resentment. And eventually, those bricks become a wall in the bedroom.

We don't want the wall. We didn't build it overnight. But now that it's there, we need a roadmap to take it down. This is not a libido issue. It's a conflict resolution issue. If this sounds like you, you don't need another tip.

You need a transformation.

Real love answers in full. No holding back, no holding in. You talk deeply, often, and sincerely. They care about how you feel.

Convenient love gives short replies, makes you dig for meaning, and says "I don't know" just to avoid the convo. Deep talks? Never heard of them.

A man in love plans everything for your date all you have to do is show up. No stress, no decisions, just enjoy.

Convenient love pretends to "let you decide," but truth is — he's too lazy to think. Gets mad when you give any answer, yet has no idea himself.

A man in love listens when you say something hurt you. You didn't force him, but he changes - on his own - because he cares.

Convenient love says

"That's who I am." You're forced to accept his bare minimum. If he can't cook, he won't even try to learn.

A man in love might lecture you during a fight, but he'll still say sorry - sincerely - until you feel okay.

"Every time I open up about how I feel, you act like I'm attacking you. Instead of hearing me, you defend yourself. I'm not asking you to be perfect, I'm asking you to care."

confrontation. I pull back, not

because I don't care, but

because I'm terrified of letting

my words do damage l can't

take back. I don't want to hurt

anyone, but the truth is, I can't

always explain why I'm hurting

either. So I stay quiet, hoping

the storm inside me will pass,

hoping l'll find the right words

eventually. But sometimes, the

silence itself feels like a burden