multiverse goes brrt

Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.

Red Hood: oh shit really?

Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!

Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.

~

Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

~

Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-

Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!

the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.

Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.

Roy:

Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet

~ Detective Comics (1937)

These posts saying that "Jason used to write fanfics" are right. This is an issue "written" by Jason (his name is in the writer's box), where he tells the latest adventure he had with Batman. However, at the end, he isn't satisfied with his writings, so he burns it, which implies this is not a journal, but him working on his writing skills, using their crime fighting as a base. He even talks about "maintaining suspense" at one point. So, yeah, if Jason grew up in the 21st century, he would be writing Batman and Robin's fanfics inspired by his own adventures with his dad.

And Bruce, faking being asleep in the same room Jason is writing in, so he can listen and watch his boy as he enjoys his hobby, just happy seeing his baby do something he likes. He probably loves to read what Jason wrote.

Also…

author’s note:

Well, don't be surprised when people start to believe that Donna and Dick are actually twins.

People see them interacting and no, they never think they are a couple (except for a few), most immediately assume they are twins.

clark watches tim lie through his fucking teeth about a mission that clark was THERE for and he can’t even hear his heart miss a beat. tim grins at him behind bruce’s back and it’s at this point that clark realises that tim can straight up control his heartbeat to the point that not even superman can tell. he usually just doesn’t bother because he knows bruce wont listen to a word clark says anyway so who gives a fuck.

clark is terrified of this child. jon befriends damian and the JLA are confused as to why he’s not even a little worried about his kid hanging out with the scary sword kid but he’s just so relieved bcs next to tim this is nothing.

Flash: WHO GAVE THIS FUCKING KID A GUN?!?

_____

Tim: I have never done anything wrong, ever, in my life.

Dick: I know this and I love you 🥰

Jason: ...Dick, are you fucking HIGH???

_____

Dick: You should consider trying to be more like Tim! He's always such a well-behaved angel ❤️

Tim: Thank you, Dick 😇

Damian:

________

Dick: Tim is very kind and always so polite! He would never be mean to someone on purpose! ❤️

Bruce, who is bullied by Tim an average of 4.5 times a day:

______

Dick: Tim is an absolute sweetheart!

Cass: ... I do not think that word means what you think it does.

_____

Duke, staring at a warehouse that he and Tim just 'accidentally' blew up: ... So how mad do you think Dick is going to be at us?

Tim: Don't worry, I got this.

Dick, landing next to them: Holy explosion, Red Robin! What happened here?!?

Tim: I don't know 😔. It was like this when we got here 🥺.

Duke, whispering: There is no way he's going to believe tha-

Dick: Oh no! Well, I'm just glad you two are safe!

Duke: ... Tim, I need you to teach me your ways.

Dick: hm? Did you say something, Duke?

________

Dick: I don't get it! Why does everyone think Tim is some kind of crazed feral gremlin?!?

Alfred: I believe that is because they have in fact met Master Tim.

Dick: What was that? 🙃