🌼tessa.

“Guess you can call me lame,” Byron shrugged barely wanting to put in any effort so he did repeat. “If I’m going to steal a top hat for you I think I should get something.”

“ I can’t believe you actually gave me the all clear on calling you lame. I won’t be forgetting that. ” Tessa chuckled. “ You can have my plumbob? ”

He couldn’t fight back the smile that came. “Maybe I’ll just find future you. See if you’re a lot more fun in the future.”

“ Are you actually saying that I’m not fun now? ” Tessa placed her hand on her chest, as if she was extremely offended by that note. “ Perhaps you’re the not fun one here, have you considered that? ”

“I’m gonna have to ask if there is anything else because I can’t do that.”

“ Well, then that’s too bad, isn’t it? No escape rooms for you, sir. Maybe take your DeLorean and find someone else somewhere in the future. ”

“Hey, come on. When something is a classic like that you can’t go wrong no matter what. You probably looked great in the top hat.”

“ Oh, come on it’s pretty lame when you wear the same costume twice in a row. Who knows? Perhaps I would’ve looked great in a top hat. How about you find me one and I’ll consider being Bella Goth with a top hat instead of a plumbob. ”

@tessamanning​

“Little disappointed you didn’t dress up as that Planter’s peanut dude.”

“ Little disappointed you’d think I would be so boring as to repeat a Halloween costume another year. ” 

@tessamanning​

“How much will it take to get you to do an escape room with me?”

“ Hmm, I’d say an apology for you pushing me into the pool the Fourth would suffice. ”

“Yeah– besides, aren’t their filters or that kind of thing that bans them from posting a dick pic? I mean look– this whacko has a pic of his puppy? Isn’t that your kind of shit?” Liz questioned as she started swiping through a few profiles before handing the phone back to Tessa. “There’s so many people who use this damn thing. There’s gotta be someone slightly normal out there for you. Just swipe this way if you don’t like the look of someone and the other if you do and if they turn out to be a complete creep after you talk to them? Pretty sure you can unmatch them too.”

“ Yeah -- I’m sure they have a pretty well-trained algorithm in place. ” Tessa agreed. “ Okay, so if someone’s holding a pup, they’re automatically a whacko in your book? ” She chuckled as she glanced at the screen her friend was holding. When she handed Tessa’s phone back, the blonde glanced at the screen. “ That sounds so -- shallow. ”  She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she hovered her thumb over the screen. Tessa let out a breath as she glanced at her friend. “ What happened to meeting people the old fashioned way again? ” 

“Damn– you know me better than I thought. Just make sure, if you’re going to throw up don’t do it on me. I’ll sacrifice my floor instead.”

“ Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad. ” Tessa let out before quickly sniffing what apparently smelled that bad. “ Okay -- yeah, no. Not puking bad, but my god, what the hell is that? ”

“I’m sure you’re meant to be able to tell. Somehow. Look, if he posts a dick pic, a photo of his abs or a gym selfie then swipe past it. He’s probably going to be a fuck boy.” Liz shrugged, grabbing the phone to try and look. “Surely not everyone on this dumb ass thing is like that right? There’s gotta be someone out there for you.”

“ Ah, you think? ” Tessa chuckled. Even she could easily tell that someone who’d sent a dick pic would definitely not be the type of guy she’d usually fall for. “ Okay, so please, do tell. How does this actually work? Are there actually people on here who don’t just want a one time thing and move on to the next person? ”

“Umm because it smells gross? And if I had to get a nose full, the least you could do is do the same. It’s only polite.”

“ Yeah, that’s not actually a valid reason though. It’s not polite, it’s self sacrificing for your pain. But because I’m a good and obviously very polite person, I’ll smell. ”  

@tessamanning​

“It’s Tinder, not an arranged marriage. Now come on, I promise I won’t even make you meet with them if they turn out to be a total fucking dweeb.”

“ I know that. ” Tessa protested as she glanced at the phone. “ I don’t know -- people only want to hook up and stuff, right? I’m not opposed to a date... Yet. But I don’t need -- that. ”

@tessamanning​​

“Oh gross– I swear this dish has gone off. Here, smell it.”

“ I’m not going to smell that, why would you even ask me that after saying how it’s gone off? ”

Liv: Slow your roll, you're not replacing me as their favorite human so get that idea out of your head. I just need a stand in.

Liv: I just meant that it's super last minute and I don't like inconveniencing you!

Tessa: Riiight... You don't know that.

Liv: Any chance you're free next friday? I need a last minute chaperone to help me out.

Liv: I'm sure you realize how desperate I am if I'm asking you.

Tessa: Are you sure? I mean, obviously I will replace you as their favourite human if you pick me...

Tessa: Wow okay thanks.