I'm one more "whoopsie!" away from getting myself killed


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@terracebird
I'm one more "whoopsie!" away from getting myself killed

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Guysss it's a universal thing
Credit: Pinterest
Mimi & artemis
Mother Mary Comes to Me
- Arundhati Roy
My Dark Vanessa
-Kate Elizabeth Russell
this shit is getting serious… september is ending soon

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Nurturing My Future: The Baby I Carry (The Study Motivation Metaphor)
Sometimes I think of my goals not as tasks, deadlines, or grades, but as a tiny life growing inside me. I carry them like a baby, fragile, full of potential, dependent on my care. Every hour I study, every concept I wrestle with, every early morning and late night, it’s nourishment. I feed it with focus, protect it from distractions, shield it from doubt.
For the next nine months, I allow myself to be selfish with my time. Not because I don’t care about the world, but because this little life, my dream of med school, my future self, needs me fully present. Family, love, the people I cherish, they are part of its environment. Casual distractions, fleeting social pressures, they are not.
I imagine it growing stronger each day, aware of every sacrifice, every ounce of discipline, every moment of patience. And I know, one day, it will be born, my success fully formed, confident, and undeniable. Until then, I carry it with intention, with care, and with love. It is mine to nurture, mine to protect, and mine to grow.
There’s a strange beauty in this process, the intimacy of it, the quiet thrill of progress, the knowledge that what I create today will exist tomorrow. I am building, cultivating, giving life to my ambition, one careful, deliberate day at a time.
2017 me in middle school 🤝 2022 me in my last year of school 🤝 2025 me at the end of my second year of college 🤝 being that weird girl who walks alone in crowds singing morbid songs to get through the day
The day I lower my focus on bio and pick up physics, my marks go skyrocketing down. Gotta pick bio back up and try to hold both the subjects even
I'm starting to like physics again??
Been doing little to no work these days and the guilt is weighing down HARD. Is that why I get the sudden surge of energy past 12am?
forgive yourself. do it often.
small steps to getting there:
1. remember that you are flawed and human as we all are
2. keep in mind that you can’t go back and undo mistakes but you can learn from them moving forward
3. think about how this experiences has changed you in positive ways
4. seek forgiveness from others if needed but learn to be okay with them not accepting your apology, it doesn’t make you irredeemable

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People don’t always say “I love you”, sometimes it sounds like:
“Be safe.”
“Did you eat?”
“Call me when you’re home.”
“I made you this”
The Ministry of Utmost Happiness - Arundhati Roy
The Forest of Enchantments -Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
The Bell Jar -[Sylvia Plath]

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I've lost the zest and enthusiasm for life. I guess it ended when my parents constantly accused me of being "overexcited" at the smallest things. Oh how I used to cherish everything, how I would be so jovial and curious. It's all gone now.
Our chemistry teacher was demonstrating an experiment in class and all the students were excited and stood around her table to get a closer look. Everyone went, except for me. I thought, why was everyone excited by such a small thing? Why are they showing it so openly?
That's when it hit me that my parents had forever taken away that part of me. I loathe them for it to this day