[Doubt]

After a 5 year hiatus, national embarrassment Conor McGregor debuts in his own mma tournament called World's Baddest Man and his very first move is to blow out his knee and collapse to the ground

World's Worst Man

the justification when law enforcement kills someone for no particular reason always boils down to “we got really really scared, you should feel bad for us because we were sososo scared” ok. piss yourself or scream or something. why is killing someone the only option

I have agoraphobia, I’m deathly afraid of places and yet I go places with zero casualties and zero fatalities

had a bad low blood pressure moment last night and messily asked my partner for saltines and water before realizing i should probably ask for the Blood Pressure Medication I Need To Take. while they went to go grab it though i still had water and crackers so in a daze i took a swig of water but didnt swallow and then tried to cram 2 saltines in my mouth. full of water. in bed. with mouth full of water

Sweetie your grandma deactivated last night

lost all my bart coin nedless to say im gonna marge into oncoming traffic

Youre the only daniel i ever gave a damn about

The only true way to immortality is to say so much weird shit that your words will forever live rent-free in other peoples' heads. Like the person who decided to string together the sequence of words "shaking like a chihuahua shitting out a peach stone." Like why did you make me read that. It emerges in my head regularly, whenever I least expect it and the situation needs it the least.

I do that often

Shit out peach stones?