let it be a lie.
It was hard to explain, and yet so simple at the same time. Just open your mouth and say the words, the facts, the truth that be. “If I had a choice, Emma, I would have never left you. I would have stayed with you, I would have told you everything that you deserved to know…” It was the breaking in her voice and her backing away from him that made him see first hand what his death had caused. It wasn’t a choice he made to just up and walk away from Emma. More than anything he wanted to stay with her and let this play out as it may. Play out and see what they could be, if they could be. She was the savior of this town and he could have been the one to save her from everything else. And now she stood before him as beautiful as the day he met her but looking at him in a way that he never expected Emma to look at him before. For the newly formed heart in his chest could be felt breaking, the cracking echoing in his ears as he wanted only to wrap his arms around Emma and tell her a thousand times in a thousand ways that he was sorry for something he could not control. But because he had to feel something for her and it had become something exchanged between two lonely people, two empty hearts and within each other had become something whole again. He had been the cause of her pain - something he never wanted. While still not his fault it hurt him anyway. The look in her eyes, the tremble of her lip that he wanted to steady with a kiss. One of new beginnings. A chance deserved. “I did die, Emma, that is truth. I cannot tell you how I am standing here now. I shouldn’t be, but I am. A blessed second chance I’m not sure if I deserve, but — I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to leave you. How could I..?”
lips thinned as she brushed at the tears that littered her cheeks. this wasn’t supposed to happen. this wasn’t supposed to be real. this was supposed to be one of her nightmares, one of those dreams where she woke up, where she was in control. her life was spiraling, she was losing who she was to this forsaken town, losing who she’d thought she was -- who she’d wanted to be. she’d done so many things, found so many people, and yet she couldn’t ever really find herself.
and what she hated most, was the dreams? the dreams with him were the only time she knew who she was, the only time when things were clear. and because of those, that reminder, that string around her wrist, the badge on her pocket, she’d kept going. because that pain kept her clear. but this pain -- this pain just muddled everything. because she loved him, she looked at him, heard him, and knew instantly without a doubt, she loved him. she’d never stopped, she’d never wavered. but that didn’t mean she wanted to love him.
a new beginning meant that there had ever been one, but there hadn’t been. they’d lived in a world of lies made by the queen of them, and now emma wanted nothing to do with any of it. truth be told she woke some mornings and wanted to put henry in the car and race over that line so fast -- and drive so far --- that it was all a memory.
‘ it’s not okay. life doesn’t work like this graham. maybe in your world. maybe in this world. maybe with wooden boys, and dark one’s sons, and --- snow white princesses. but my world? you’re dead. i’ve mourned you. i held your body that entire night, i cried begging you to come back. and i was told it was a freak accident. something no one could predict.
i don’t want freak accidents in my life graham. i want something real. and i’m starting to think that curse or no curse? this whole town is still a lie. that everyone in it is living in one. there’s no good winning here, there’s no happy ending. it’s as messed up as the rest of the world but no one here will actually say that. ‘
