𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓, 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐎𝐒.

Dan Heng was stubborn, and his mind was hard to change. For the centuries spent in prison with little interaction with others, for the longest time, he didn't understand the complexities of emotion. But, he could understand logic and reason, and when it came to a certain swordsman, the algebra of their relationship should've been straightforward. After the Sedition, Ren had encountered a version of Dan Feng that had personally destroyed him. After that, Jingliu found him and destroyed his mind, imprinting his vendetta that would eventually involve Dan Heng himself. And finally, after his exile, Ren had hunted him down with the force of pure hatred and rage. And now, when a semblance of clarity had finally found him, the natural conclusion was that Ren would grow indifferent and want nothing to do with him.

The first attempt was when Ren had demanded Cloud-Piercer back, and Dan Heng had willingly been willing to hand it over, but it had been rejected. It was a muddied success, but one nonetheless as Ren had relinquished his earring at Scalegorge Waterscape. And it was time to make the next move.

dan heng had taken to ren’s new “amicability” suspiciously well, in the beginning, or so he’d believed. while any instance of something besides outward hostility might have been a good thing, he almost preferred it to … whatever dan heng was doing now. things could never be easy between the two of them. he could tell now that the archivist intended to speed run this separation, no only for himself, but for ren as well. this bid to bulldoze through ren’s mourning period he was sure was some bid to get rid of him, perhaps one more effective than the many times dan heng speared him through the heart.

there was no easy and simple way to sever these red strings of fate ; mere months would not make up for several lifetimes worth of pain. even now, ren still opted to fill in the missing gaps, like the weight in his ear, replacing it instantaneously with a dangling metal bar of gold. despite its presence, it was not the same. it would never be the same, and it itched under his skin like a phantom limb.

maybe it was the sight of such precious treasures ready for disposal, or dan heng’s flippant attitude, but in response ren was unable to hide both hurt and displeasure with the whole affair. arms crossed over his chest, his steady gaze from the mementos rose to meet dan heng’s expression. though typically stone faced, tension weaved in his brows, his jaw clenched tight. though the bracer and the pendant were not on his person, they remained in an ornate box in one of the stellaron hunter’s most elusive safe houses. had they been on his person, he might have held them closer to hide them away, protective.

Even if it meant tearing the past to shreds to flutter away on the wind.

Something told him that the Dan Feng Ren described wasn't the real one, as Dan Feng had been imprisoned immediately after the Sedition when he fell into despair at knowing he'd been manipulated into sin. But, that didn't matter. If this cruel phantom that had tormented Yingxing in those early days was the key to them moving apart, so be it. Dan Heng had his future that he clung to so fiercely that it would destroy him if the past ripped him away from it. And as much as Cloud-Piercer meant to him, was meant for him... Dan Heng stood and summoned the weapon, placing it on the ground between them. In his heart, he hesitated. In his mind, he knew he could easily get another spear forged for him that was meant for him. "I can't answer any of those questions. As long as you keep denying that you were Yingxing in the same way you insisted I was Dan Feng, then you'll never know the answer," Dan Heng informed him somberly, gaze fixated on the spear. This was Dan Feng's spear, he told himself firmly. Yingxing wasn't alive to give it to him, and to keep it would be like robbing Dan Feng's grave.

mara tended to advance faster than this. ren almost wished it would take him, though it remained conveniently tame. it’s encroach was ever present, and still, he remained clear-minded enough to acknowledge the archivist’s words. dan feng would have never let this spear go. it was such a simple acknowledgement, after everything that ren had put him through in order to confess to his incarnation’s crimes. the hunter had ignored the signs in favour of catharsis : from the differing appearance, the stature, the way they walked, spoke, down to the way his voice wrapped ‘round yingxing’s name. all of it was different, how had he fooled himself for so long ?

by this point, kafka and the trailblazer as well as a few other members of their respective groups had returned, though ren paid them little mind, eyes still cast upon the vidyadhara alone. he spent an age looking upon the weapon. ( this spear is sharp enough to pierce dragon scales. be careful, high elder, lest you hurt yourself with it. ) ren knew that it wasn’t cloudpiercer he’d needed to accept the truth for what it was, but dan heng’s willingness to surrender it. “ i don’t need the spear, ” a barely there tremble in his words, gravely voice having far more issues than usual, as if his voice box was corroding from the inside out. somehow he thinks that would be less painful. “ he made it for yinyue. give it to lady bailu when she’s older. ”

kafka had made an almost silent approach to ren’s side, the unnamed leaning into her instinctively to whisper ‘it’s starting’. a comforting squeeze to his arm as she went to say her farewells and wait at the parlour’s door. ren reached up with slow deliberate movements to the earring yingxing had shared with his beloved, their silent but visual defiance against those who had opposed the union, and on it’s way up his bandaged hand wiped away a silent tear. maybe dan heng could not remember it’s significance, maybe it was better that way. “ the flesh of shuhu hounds after your ichoric bloodline. once the mara strikes, my own will has no say in it. ” a hand over ren’s heart, where he had been pierced a thousand times before, the other moved to pocket yingxing’s earring. “ strike true, as you always have. i will not hold it against you anymore. ”

ren’s gaze on dan heng’s was resolute, even as the violet ring ‘round his pupils started glowing with intensity, the clawing sound of the abundance emanator shouting thoughts of violence and destruction to appease ren’s breaking heart.

“ farewell, dan heng. ”

If Ren wanted that cruel High Elder, then Dan Heng would give that to him and more.

"Love," Dan Heng sneered at him. "Is that what you've convinced yourself it was? What they had?" That was true, but to say that memories of Yingxing hadn't made him feel anything was a lie. The love was there, but it wasn't his. It was Dan Feng's. It was his to burn to ashes if he wanted, to trample on the cinders. Killing had never worked on Ren, but his heart... Dan Heng saw it aching and red before him and all he wanted to do was tear it apart. "Yingxing was useful. He made good weapons, and he made Cloud-Piercer. I know Dan Feng better than you, and frankly, I can't see any reason why he'd get close to someone so short-lived. I didn't remember him, so he must not have been important."

since the first kill, 'dan heng' had treated him with the same cold cruelty that dan feng had after yingxing died, as if he had been remade just to torment the craftsman’s waking nightmares, turn him against the one he had devoted the rest of his life to. “ yingxing had never envied the lives of immortals enough to covet the flesh of an emanator. ” a long, pained exhale. “ if he died for nothing, why was he brought back ? if yingxing outlived his usefulness than what was the point of keeping him in the days after, driving the spear he made for his beloved into his chest over, and over. ” when ren opened his eyes, gaze cast to that cold, cold expression, it might have been the most raw emotion he had ever shown dan heng since the first death, eyes red rimmed, the telltale ring of violet around his pupils that preceded a mara flare growing in intensity. “ dan feng mutilated his husband and tossed him aside once he was done with him, left him to this undying body for seven centuries. ”

Is that why he was pouting like a child? For it certainly seemed like it.

"Go on. Finish what you were going to say, Yingxing," Dan Heng spat acerbically at the man. "The reason that's the case, Yingxing, is because you aren't part of it. What, did you forget? Your present affliction was your own hubris, not mine or Dan Feng's. You made yourself into what you are, so why would I be responsible for that?" Gunmetal greens held his stare flatly, unblinking for several long moments, knowing that calling him by his previous name would incise him.

the nameless did not remember much. it seemed that with each killing a little more of the ancient craftsman was worn away, only brought back to the brink by a mara flare, that damnable curse keeping him alive when he should not be for this world anymore. but if he remembered anything, it was that damnable arrogance ;how confident yingxing had been to make glorious relics that would stand the test of time when he could not, that he would burn and sear his image into all that had once known him. he would be fleeting, and he would be unforgettable. to become a husk of his former self, to make creation a punishment of his unyielding flesh was crueller, even than this unending death.

still unable to take responsibility.

"So... that's it? You just accept what Jingliu told you as the whole truth?"

Another rare interlude in these agonizing hours when the Astral Express was crossing paths with the Stellaron Hunters more and more. As Himeko saw it, the need to make nice and be diplomatic would become more and more inevitable. Hence this... Meeting was too generous. Chaperoned encounter seemed like a better word for it. Firefly and Kafka happily busied themselves with Stelle, Silver Wolf made a beeline for the Archives when she wasn't preoccupied with a game, and Dan Heng was with... Ren. Overseen by Welt who promised molecular destruction via the Star of Eden, but if Ren knew he'd probably jump at the chance to antagonize the Herrscher.

So came Dan Heng's attempts at nailing the truth into his skull.

petulant, irritated, playing nice with the other members of the astral express he could understand, but the imbibitor lunae among them made for long and difficult instances ren would rather have spent lobotomised. in the beginning he had relished the chance to be antagonistic without necessarily prompting violence, coming to understand the vidyadhara’s differing form and characteristics. but now he found it pained. this farce had gone on too long, and elio had restricted any attempts ren could make at relief. where he tended to meet dan heng with sarcasm, and snark, there was little in this encounter, encumbered by the presence of companions.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘊𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘟𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘻𝘩𝘰𝘶 𝘓𝘶𝘰𝘧𝘶'𝘴 𝘈𝘭𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘺 𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘈𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘬-𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘝𝘪𝘥𝘺𝘢𝘥𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳.

𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘢 𝘝𝘪𝘥𝘺𝘢𝘥𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢, 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘶𝘰𝘧𝘶...

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘱 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘨𝘯𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘴 𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴.

...𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 ‘‘𝘋𝘢𝘯 𝘡𝘩𝘶’’.

𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦, 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦.