TV JUKEBOX

Part 3 is here.

(This post is images due to formatting nonsense)

For part 2, see here

Question…? left us in a state of confusion, where Taylor - in conversation with herself is looking back on decisions she made; actions she took and potentially more importantly - that actions that she didn’t take (i.e. the road not taken). 

And so we move on from Question…? a song that with a mononymous title articulates a sense of confusion in the clearest possible way to, to Labyrinth, another song with a one-word title which somehow manages to elevate this muddled feeling even further.

We know labyrinths are typically variations of puzzles, mazes, or elaborate patterns, and while some have multiple solutions, others only have one single correct path. Finding one’s way through a labyrinth can knock someone off balance, or it can be a disorienting process, and often requires a complex set of decisions. Thematically, Labyrinth, the song also portrays a symbolic image of confusion with: “Lost in the labyrinth of my mind.” You know how much I hate That everybody just expects me to bounce back Just like that

Compounding the existing internal struggle, are the additional heavy - likely burdensome - expectations levied on Taylor by those around her or by those who depending on her. Whether those expectations are artistic, financial, personal - or all of those and more, we don’t know. But I think the overall sentiment of enthralling pressure finds it way through the lyrics to us, the audience.  Uh-oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around?

In this version of the chorus, we have Taylor with her usual vocals, the “good girl” Taylor. The one who does always bounce back and never fails to deliver. Uh-oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around? The chorus is immediately repeated, but with just the distorted vocals. My interpretation of this choice to have the usual vocals first, followed by the distorted vocals may be an unusual one. I take this choice as a fascinating illustration of the “one for them, one for me” philosophy that creative people/artists oftentimes abide by. Popularized and mainly attributed to filmmaker Martin Scorsese, the premise is that an artist completes “one for them,” a work of art to satisfy the commercial need (to make money - for a studio, for their own livelihood, etc), followed by “one for me,” a work of art that challenges or satisfies the creator’s passion, but may not be financially lucrative or career propelling. 

I think the application of this philosophy shows the push/pull of Taylor’s everyday as an artist, a business person, and a human being. Any decision she makes requires the examination of how it may affect thousands of people (who she employs), millions of people (who are her fans), or the unknowable number of people (who know the “real” Taylor).  Things are about to get messier now: Uh-oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around?

The final two choruses use distorted vocals throughout the entirety, while the usual vocals appear only at certain points. When the usual vocals appear, it’s in tandem, but the two sounds remain separate, or layered. We can hear them both as distinct sounds. 

What’s interesting here are the lines (the first three) in the chorus where both the distorted and usual vocals appear. The lyrics that contain both are “falling in love [again].” 

The general act of falling in love or being in love is a universal experience everyone or anyone can have - there’s nothing abnormal about the act itself. One could argue it’s even assumed a female pop star will eventually find love and settle down. Is this why we have the inclusion of the usual vocals (maybe here we read this as “public persona”) Taylor on these specific words? As if to pop in to say “yup I fall in love, nothing to see here?” ……. 

(oh wait - remember how we started all of this - with multiple rejections of traditional relationships? Just checking).

What does that mean for the remaining lyrics where Taylor’s distorted vocals are sung alone, unaccompanied? We are left with: “I’m,” “Uh oh,” “Oh no,” and “Oh.” 

I think the particular and specific division of vocals in the final two choruses of Labyrinth are a representation of how the public, and the people surrounding Taylor, care, assume, and insist that she “performs” her heart and the act of falling love in the simple, status quo way. 

Meanwhile, I think Taylor, as person, feels alone (marooned?), and maybe even disregarded. 

When I really look at the distorted vocals lyrics she sings alone, here’s what I see: 

     “I’m” is placing all eyes on Taylor, alone, as the subject      “Uh oh,” “Oh no,” and “Oh,” are Taylor’s own reaction words to what the realization of her internal truthful feelings mean. 

If Taylor is falling in love in an “unexpected” way, those “Uh oh,” “Oh no,” and “Oh” feelings are not shared, not supposed to be “performed” outwardly.

In the end, Labyrinth to me represents the ongoing internal struggle of Taylor’s heart where she has to constantly decide whether or not the next “love” the next “uh oh/oh no” is worth the risk and potential fallout. 

For part 1, see here

(Rain) He wanted it comfortable I wanted that pain He wanted a bride I was making my own name Chasing that fame He stayed the same All of me changed Like midnight My town was a wasteland Full of cages, full of fences Pageant queens and big pretenders But for some it was paradise

When the song opens, it’s the first time we hear the distorted vocal lyrics and this was new and unexpected. Had I not been paying close attention, I’d have been started and shocked back into listening. Opening Midnight Rain in such a jarring way alerts me to the importance of the opening lyrics. I’m also drawn to what follows - more rejection of societal norms, mirroring the same rejection in Lavender Haze. This is where I first see the bridge between the distorted vocal sounds.

My boy was a montage A slow motion, love potion Jumping off things in the ocean I broke his heart 'cause he was nice He was sunshine I was midnight—-- —- rain He wanted it comfortable I wanted that pain He wanted a bride I was making my own name Chasing that fame He stayed the same All of me changed Like midnight…

Here we have the first instance of a distorted lyric interrupting the usual vocals. Prior to the interruption, the usual vocals are pointing out the inauthenticity of the relationship she’s referring to with lyrics “montage” and “love potion” [magic].

Using this new pattern of examining the usual vocals which surround the distorted ones, it’s as if we are directly pointed to the fantasy elements of the relationship. Is this fantasy in the sense of she fantasizes about the relationship - or the relationship was a fantasy, as in not real?

It came like a postcard Picture perfect shiny family Holiday peppermint candy But for him it's every day So I peered through a window A deep portal, time travel All the love we unravel And the life I gave away ‘Cause he was sunshine I was midnight rain He wanted it comfortable I wanted that pain He wanted a bride I was making my own name Chasing that fame He stayed the same All of me changed Like midnight

I do want to call attention to the emphasis on seemingly historically held traditional Christian American family values and compulsory heterosexuality (“comp-het”) within the usual vocal sounding lyrics:   “Holiday peppermint candy” which is stand-in for Christmas and “It came like a postcard" "picture perfect shiny family” another tangible marker of a historically traditional family  (though to be balanced, family postcards are becoming more commonly sent from all types of families). Though there are no distorted vocals in the above, it’s worthwhile to point out how Taylor is positioning herself as an outsider, a literal observer “peered through a window,” though it’s equally as important to note this was her own choice, “And the life I gave away.” She asserted her autonomy, and communicates to the listener that the rejection of this “picture perfect” life was her own deliberate decision. Rain He wanted it comfortable I wanted that pain He wanted a bride I was making my own name Chasing that fame He stayed the same All of me changed Like midnight I guess sometimes we all get Just what we wanted, just what we wanted And he never thinks of me  Except when I'm on TV I guess sometimes we all get Some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted And I never think of him Except on midnights like this Midnights like this

We move on to immediately repeat the chorus, this time in distorted vocals. 

Finally, we end with an attempt by Taylor at accepting and reconciling with the choices she has made - and like I proposed earlier - perhaps even suggesting this ideal past was never real and only ever existed in public in front of cameras or on screen.  I chose the wording of “with an attempt” as it feels like these decisions may continue to be an ongoing struggle, as it occasionally, though now, less frequently, “haunts” her. 

And now, onto Question...?

I remember

Good girl, sad boy Big city, wrong choices We had one thing going on I swear that it was something 'Cause I don't remember who I was before you Painted all my nights A color I've searched for since But one thing after another Fuckin' situations, circumstances Miscommunications, and IHave to say By the way I just may like some explanations

Question…? Opens in distorted vocals with “I remember,” signaling us to look deeper/include this song within the narrative I’m analyzing. 

On the previous song I referenced, Midnight Rain, I closed by noting the potential of an ongoing struggle within Taylor about decisions she’s made, some that may occasionally haunt her. 

Using the lyrics “situations,” “circumstance,” Miscommunications,and “explanations” in Question…? further lends credence to the idea of working through deeply complex emotions & decisions. The inclusion of “F*cking” before these lyrics serves to signify a visceral frustration surrounding these specific words. 

Even though Question…? Is a different song (3rd in this series), it carries on related themes (confusion, inner struggles & search for self, potential regret, etc) from Lavender Haze and Midnight Rain.

Can I ask you a question? Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room And every single one of your friends was making fun of you But fifteen seconds later, they were clapping too? Then what did you do? Did you leave her house in the middle of the night? Oh Did you wish you'd put up more of a fight, oh When she said it was too much? Do you wish you could still touch her? It's just a question

This chorus is making my point for me - it’s just question after question. 

While some may argue whether these questions are directed at someone, I firmly believe they are rhetorical and playing out in Taylor’s mind. Regardless of whether they are directed at someone or are indeed rhetorical, we cannot logically dispute they exhibit confusion and uncertainty. 

Half-moon eyes, bad surprise Did you realize out of time? She was on your mind With some dickhead guy That you saw that night But you were on something It was one drink after another Fuckin' politics and gender roles And you're not sure and I don't know Got swept away in the gray I just may like to have a conversation

As an aside I want touch on the lyric “you were on something.” I interpret this as being drunk or having been drinking at the least. I believe this specific lyric serves dual purposes - the first is the more honest - being unable to clearly and accurately remember and recall what happened, and the second is to be a smokescreen to excuse away any atypical behavior Taylor may have engaged in if she was impaired.

Now onto, “Got swept away in the gray.” We know gray is a color, but it’s also a clearly established metaphor for confusion, not just in Taylor’s body or work, but in the [American] world at-large. In Question…? it’s being used a device to convey confusion.  Out of curiosity I took a quick look at other times the color gray/grey has appeared in Taylor’s lyrics. 

(*These two lists may not be complete)  -

It is used as a color in: Today Was A Fairytale, Red, Ronan, So It Goes…, London Boy, Gold Rush,  and Coney Island. - It demonstrates confusion in: Bye Bye Baby, Cold As You, Getaway Car, evermore, and Question…?

Cold As You:  “You put up the walls and paint them a shade of gray”

Bye Bye Baby:  “Lost in the gray and I try to grab at fray / Cause I, I still love you but I can’t”  

 Getaway Car:  “In shades of gray in candlelight”  

 Evermore:  “Gray November / I’ve been down such July”

The gray in Question…? Is used all though the song - the kiss, gender roles how friends see her, communication, societal norms, true love, etc