tumblr novice

in europe they got antisemitism

None of his co-workers can tell whether Sweet Baby Girl is his wife, girlfriend, or his kid. The fact that he seems like the type who would date a woman who'd piss on the floor when she's mad at him and put her butthole right in his face when she's happy doesn't help narrow it down much.

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

canada a bit to the left

What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?

i cried my ass of laughing

I’m not even from Canada but I approve this change of names

@valentine-villefort

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

finding somebody who will laugh at your shitty jokes is joy-inducing but finding a motherfucker who can yes-and all the esoteric bullshit you put out is pure cocaine. this must be the shit all those racuous but good-natured scoundrels down at the tavern are on

The fucking that old man website when someone actually fucks that old man

Tumblr is stuffed to the brim with 18-25 year olds who talk endlessly about being a hole for old men and have a heart attack the second a consenting adult is in a relationship with an old man

bilf (book i'd like to finish)

people act like having breakfast for dinner is weird and special when in fact it's the most widespread and normalised meal identity transgression out there. talk to me when you're having dinner for breakfast, snack for dinner, lunch for brunch,

which thicc girl hurt you (and stole your grain)

Grain-stealing thots

I’m trying to steal your granary but I’m dummy thicc and the clap of my decorated ass cheeks keeps alerting Hesiod