" So She Looked For Him, But He Was Never Found"

I’m an experience

So my step son told me a few weeks ago that boys can’t have painted nails, cause it’s just for girls.

I said that’s silly! Boys can paint their nails if they want to. In Fact, I paint daddy’s nails sometimes. He was amazed.

So today I broke out the nail polish, and painted daddy’s toes. Sky was like ‘you’re silly! That looks fun! Can you do my big toes?’ So I painted his big toes and then he’s like ‘this is really fun! Can you do the others?’ So I did and then he posed with his daddy.

why is 6 afraid of 7

why is 6 afraid of 7

There was bound to be a lot of denial because of Zeki being canon. Claims of Yuuki being forced to settle for second best, while secretly pining away for Kaname. The list goes on. They just can’t handle the fact our pairing became official.

Let me break it down for the hopelessly dense.

1) People might, gods forbid, think he’s gay.  Putting aside the fact that women’s clothing and accessories are not how men telegraph “I am gay,” but are ways men telegraph “I like these things and don’t see why I should not enjoy them”, what’s the problem with being seen as gay?  There’s not one, unless you think there’s something wrong with being gay.

1B) It’s shameful because it’s acting like a woman.  See above.  There’s nothing shameful about acting like a woman unless there is something shameful about BEING a woman.  Really, this should be #1, because fears of being perceived as gay are, at their root, fears of being perceived as womanly.

2) People might think he’s whipped.  This is rooted in the idea that the man is being expected to endure some sort of affront to his masculinity by holding the purse.  That he’s being asked to do something onerous, not ordinary.  Because gods forbid a man do anything for a woman, especially anything that makes him look less like a man.  There are hideous assumptions about both men and women throughout that entire ridiculous line of reasoning.  I invite you to find and list them for yourself.  Twenty-five points to the House of your choice.

I am sure there are other stupid reasons, but those are the big ones.

A “real man” who is not an emotional weakling would proudly hold that fucking purse.

A “real man” would realize it says “I have a female companion” and “I don’t mind doing the most negligible of favors for my girlfriend/wife/sister/mother/daughter/friend because I am not a giant crybaby who fears my testicles will wither and fall off like raisins if I touch girly things for five goddamn minutes”.  And a “real man” doesn’t fucking care what ignorant-ass troglodytes think of him.  A “real man” isn’t afraid, constantly, of being perceived as feminine, because he knows there is nothing shameful about being feminine.  How exactly is it insulting to be compared to a woman?  It’s not, unless you hate women.

this is fucking awesome

26 Male Survivors Of Sexual Assault Quoting The People Who Attacked Them

Do You Love Someone With Depression?

If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.

Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.

1. Help them keep clutter at bay.

When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm  environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)

2. Fix them a healthy meal.

Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.

3.Get them outside.

 The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here.  For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.

4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.

If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.

5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.

Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.

6. Hug them.

Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.

7. Laugh with them.

Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.

8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.

Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.

9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.

A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”

10.Remind them why you love them.

Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.