Un-named

My best friend cannot find a bra.

She’s fat. We won’t get into the ~why~ here because it honestly wouldn’t matter whether it was “all her fault” or whether it was a result of outside forces like genes and such, she still deserves a goddamn fucking bra that fits.

And she cannot find a bra.

She’s short and fat, and Fat Bras are usually full cup, but because she’s short the full cups are usually too tall, or the armbands around them are too tall, to the point where what’ll fit around her chest and over her boobs will also dig up into her arms or have such high coverage that she literally cannot wear a shirt with a neckline high enough. Any bra that goes out enough goes too high.

This affects her ability to find clothing, impacting her ability to go outside sometimes, because she has this tiny selection of bras and she constantly has to wash them and when they’re gone she has no idea when she’ll next be able to find another unicorn bra. They appear in a flash usually in startups that die soon after, and COVID has killed most the small businesses remaining where she had even a hint of a chance of finding a fitting bra.

So she wears bras that don’t fit. Or she doesn’t leave the house. One gives her back pain. The other is, obviously, not very active. She likes to be active.

If she brings it up, people suggest breast reduction surgery.

But the thing is, with a good bra, she does not get back pain.

But if it’s that hard to find a good bra, they say, wouldn’t a reduction just be easier?

Wouldn’t it be easier for you to chop off part of your flesh, they say, then for us to cut fabric and underwire to more sizes? As if that is normal. As if that isn’t horrifying.

It’s not just bras. It’s chairs. It’s benches. It’s goddamn shoes. It’s seatbelts. It’s exercise equipment - I just got an exercise bike for Christmas. I had to shop around to find an affordable one that was also rated to take my level of fat. If I were 100 pounds heavier, which some people are? I don’t think any equipment would have existed in a price range that any working person could expect to afford. I don’t think most people even look at the weight ratings on chairs and couches and furniture. Once you start? They are lower than you think. There are absolutely 100% people you love in your life - whether really tall men or just average kinda overweight fat people - who should not be using the things they are using. Who are not getting support from their mattress, their footwear, their office chair. It might be you! You might be thinking “but I am average size!”, but the amount of furniture out there that’s only weighted to about 200lbs? Or 175??? It’s SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU REALIZE. Get into the Proper Fat? The 350lb, 400lb, 500lb fat? There’s virtually nothing.

Seatbelts are not tested for fat bodies and seatbelt extenders aren’t regulated.

We know about the problems with too small a blood pressure cuff. With too low a medicine dose. With no MRI a really fat body can fit in for a thousand miles.

We know, from multiple studies on multiple oppressed communities, that social bias by itself, with zero other compounding factors, can give people worse health outcomes.

Now add up

+ one of the social biases with the least pushback even from the educated liberal set with

+ having a world that is literally not made for you. Where you cannot get clothes, furniture, or transportation in a way that will actually accommodate you,

+ where society is constantly blaming you for this. And even if you somehow (and if you know how, please tell me) manage to retain some sense of self worth and optimism and determination despite all that

+ that’s not gonna magically give you access to the daily supplies a person needs in their home and out in public that’ll make living safe and healthy life literally physically possible.

If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health start a bra company. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health mandate changes to seatbelt requirements. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health have a variety of chairs in your waiting room with at least some being properly Fat Rated. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health, make it easier for fat people to be active by making exercise equipment that fits them, swimwear that’ll actually stay on them, athletic shoes that can bear them. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health ask they be included in more medical trials. If you’re really so concerned about fat people’s health, promote fat visibility and fat people loving their bodies - because hating yourself has literally never been good for anyone’s health.

If you’re using “concern for health” as a shield to allow you to judge and criticize strangers, you don’t give a fuck about anyone’s health. You’re just an asshole who prefers a veneer of respectability when you bully people. You’re hateful and we can see right through you.

Every website uses a language called JavaScript; long story short it’s a website language that allows developers to do the crazy shit you see on websites. Now the easiest thing to do is to disable JavaScript to stop them from knowing you have an adblocker:

Oh no! I’m blocked from viewing the website. It would be a terrible shame if I were able to right click and select the “inspect” feature

Click the three dots in the top right and open the “Settings” Menu

And then scrolled down to “Debugger” and checked the “Disable Javascript Option”

And then just refreshed the page

Edits for people who don't know!

1. Periods:

When we have periods, we cannot fast in Ramadan, but we have to pay the lost days back by fasting in another month immediately!

2. Medicine:

Medicine is taken in Sahur or Iftar, the meals before and after fasting, however if your illness requires you to take it during the day, it's okay to not fast, but you still have to pay it back if you heal again.

Point 1 and 2: it's done like this because your health comes first. Fasting requires you to be in optimal condition, and Allah will not force you outside of your own limitations.

3. What if your Illness is so bad?

If your illness cannot heal and you're sick all the time, you can pay Fidyah instead of paying the fast back. Fidyah is donating to feed the poor.

4. Music

Depending on different Madhabs or opinions, many people have debated whether or not Music is haram. It is often discussed due to some music having the ability to arouse sexual feelings or hinder worship in general. Ofc you can choose which opinions works best for you, you must know that if you do consider music not haram, don't let it hinder your prayers, fasting, or Quran reading.

5. Swearing

Adults: you’re just not trying hard enough

Made a profile on Indeed.

Crammed that fucker with every damn skill and job I have ever had. That time I ran roller-coasters for a month? On there. “Property Managing” my mother’s rental for six months because she was too lazy to drive over? On there. ALSO. If you are skilled in, say, Photoshop, don’t JUST put Photoshop as a skill. Also put Adobe Suite, Adobe Photoshop, etc. Put every possible term for your skill under the skills. Google skill lists and start slapping them in there if you have even a tiny bit of skill in them.

Downloaded the Indeed app on my phone.

Set up a saved search to show me all full-time jobs paying $15 or more per hour in my area, and set it to only show jobs with instant apply. I did not narrow it down by field or anything else. Just full-time, my area, $15/hr.

Wrote up a three sentenceish generic cover letter that was basically “I am good at customer service, client management, and handling the variety of tasks this job will involve. I will be available on X date and would love to speak to you about this position at your company.” But slightly more professionally put.

Just fucking clicked apply on everything. Anything that sounded like something I’d be willing and probably able to do. Like, I wasn’t applying to mechanic jobs or anything. But front-desk at a mechanic shop? Sure. Towing dispatcher? Sure. Print shop coordinator for some fancy real estate agency? Sure.

The beauty of Indeed’s mobile/quick apply is that once you’ve set up your profile on there clicking apply is literally all you have to do for about 75% of the quick apply jobs. Some will have a couple additional questions like how long you’ve done certain things, or when you’re available to start. Some have random fun questions like your favorite superhero (usually startups). You click that button and off your resume goes.

I spent about an hour every day doing this, submitted several hundred applications in the process, and heard back from…maybe 20. Got an interview at 4 or 5. Got hired at an insurance company that pays RIDICULOUSLY WELL. Took about a month.

Do I want to sell in insurance? Not particularly. But this job will support me, my art, my ability to buy a house, and PROVIDE RESIDUAL INCOME ONCE I RETIRE. Which. If I play my cards right I could do in as little as ten years.

Your mileage may vary with this technique, but given the way job hunting is set up now carpet bombing an application site like Indeed is always worth a shot. I will note that when I came across a job I thought sounded extra interesting and more in line with the fields I wanted to be in I’d save the application instead of applying, then take the time that night to put together a better full application.

Nightmares:

- one party member’s nightmare seems like a perfectly normal and even pleasant scenario until the rest of the party realizes that what’s normal and pleasant for them is terrifying for the other member.

-the happy-go-lucky character who told everyone their fear is something benign like “ducks” actually has a massive and crushing trauma nightmare scenario they never told anyone about because they didn’t want to be a burden/still can’t trust.

- villain tries to make a nightmare scenario for someone and it backfires because they didn’t realize that guy is a grade-A Freak and they love it.

“ideal life” illusions

- villain attempts to make what they think will be an ideal dream life only for the protagonist to immediately point out a glaring flaw or get mad because they know damn well life isn’t like this

-a party member struggles to break free from the illusion because it’s just like regular life for them

- party discovers someone in the group has been not entirely honest about who they are when their ideal life doesn’t match thier projected persona at all.

Nightmares:

- one party member’s nightmare seems like a perfectly normal and even pleasant scenario until the rest of the party realizes that what’s normal and pleasant for them is terrifying for the other member.

-the happy-go-lucky character who told everyone their fear is something benign like “ducks” actually has a massive and crushing trauma nightmare scenario they never told anyone about because they didn’t want to be a burden/still can’t trust.

- villain tries to make a nightmare scenario for someone and it backfires because they didn’t realize that guy is a grade-A Freak and they love it.

“ideal life” illusions

- villain attempts to make what they think will be an ideal dream life only for the protagonist to immediately point out a glaring flaw or get mad because they know damn well life isn’t like this

-a party member struggles to break free from the illusion because it’s just like regular life for them

- party discovers someone in the group has been not entirely honest about who they are when their ideal life doesn’t match thier projected persona at all.