☆s p e l l b o u n d☆

————————————————————————

Why exactly do I think hawks is bi, you ask? To start with, he gives off ex sapphic tomboy energy. I don’t really know how to elaborate on that sentence, he just does.

I feel like he’s probably had various sexual encounters that the commission likely arranged with NDAs and shit to try and fulfill his needs without him actually being in a relationship publicly and losing the illusion of availability. But that he told them it wasn’t necessary after a few times; that it wasn’t really doing anything for him, not because they were women [because let’s face it, if the commission arranged them, they probably were], but because I also feel as though he may be demi, and so due to lack of connection with the people themselves, there wasn’t much to gain. He flirts with literally everyone, but I think it’s equally empty across board.

And then final point. Um. Tropes. He is the same kind of chaos bisexual as these three other idiots. Particularly Dean [who i could very well be demiromantic], because I do actually think he has a preference for men, especially with romantic attachment, but he still definitely has the potential to be into women, y’know?

————————————————————————

Alright, now that we’ve gotten that shit show out of the way.

How Hawks being Trans in World Might Work

CW: overview on a trans guy’s childhood and medical history, transphobia mentioned

Dilemma Number 1: His Name

alright, so. he’d have to be going by Keigo by the time the commission got him, which is very much a masc name. I propose

- he begins insisting that he is a boy from a very early age, probably from around three, and is baffled by other people somehow thinking he’s a girl all the time

- it becomes such a big deal that his mom is finally just like fuck it. whatever. I don’t have energy to fight you on this anymore, sure, you’re a boy. And then is like- well, if you’re not a girl, you can’t go around with a name like that, so we gotta call you something else.

- maybe it’s part of the reason his dad abuses him. maybe letting kei have that is part of the reason he abuses his mom.

- by the time she sells him off to the commission, it’s just second nature to call him her son, and just. Neglects to mention that he’s trans, because we’re already selling him, who gives a shit about his safety.

that brings us to

Dilemma Number 2: When the HPSC Realized

Because if they’d realized early on I feel like they would have tried their best to either squash it, or and if that didn’t work, given him HRT through puberty, so he wouldn’t have ended up with aforementioned hourglass figure and hips, so

- honestly, maybe just medical malpractice. Pediatricians doing brief genital inspections every few years to make sure everything is fine down there is pretty standard practice, but maybe the commission thought that would make them predatory. [because obviously they weren’t already] Or maybe they’d already determined the playboy persona they wanted him to have and that they weren’t intending on ever allowing him to be in a relationship, so what did it matter anyway?

- and if they didn’t know, he’d just continue on as he was, unhindered

- I think Touya would’ve been around eight or nine when the two initially met, making Kei seven or eight, and then the last time they saw each other would’ve been just after Rei was hospitalized, which would’ve made them twelve and thirteen

- so when Touya last saw him, Hawks probably would’ve already had at least some chest development and would’ve been binding, but nobody would’ve expected his voice to have dropped yet, so unless they talked about it, *which is very possible- haven’t decided yet-, there’s not a whole lot that wouldn’ve automatically alerted him to anything

- I do think Kei probably stopped taking his shirt off around people at the age of eleven tho

- I’d say the commission probably became aware of the situation shortly after Touya’s disappearance, because even if he was trying to avoid people seeing his chest, they’d eventually have to do at least partial physical exams and would need access to his chest and back for spine and heart checks.

- they might initially think it was gynecomastia [i mean technically it is, that’s how I referred to my chest pre top surgery], but with further testing realized he was trans.

and finally

Dilemma Number 3: Treatment

- Hawks is maybe thirteen at this point, only five years away from his debut, and most likely he would’ve been so interwoven into future plans, his persona already well into development, that it would’ve been more of a hassle for the commission to have to change everything, than to just let him proceed with medical transition

- so he goes on HRT when he’s fourteen, and they continue as though nothing’s changed

- he gets top surgery at 17, a year before his debut

- and he is coached [unnecessarily] on how to never let that information see the light of day, and heavily shamed about it all

*if Dabi never did learn that hawks was trans, when he finally does, he is very much going to Magne [who is not dead in this au, fuck you Horikoshi] to just be like hi. y’know that hypothetical crush we talked about months ago, yeah, well, if that crush was hypothetically trans, how might I specifically support them regarding that? Probably in a more convoluted roundabout way than that though.

Getting to see Hawks, a man who is not portrayed as particularly feminine and is short and shaped like me in media is really really nice. Getting to have gender envy over someone who’s body type actually reflects my own has greatly helped with my dysphoria and body image and he’s just so fucking important to me.

————————————————————————

Which brings me to the final section of this post:

Examples of Hawks’ Hips and Hourglass Figure, for your viewing pleasure, none of which are edited apart from color grading, he just looks like that

I will probably be adding more at some point