huh?

men and women are not opposites. men and women are not enemies. men and women are two parts of a broad coalition which fights against a mutual enemy: inkjet printers

and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?

Actually no one should be having sex. All of us are aged-up minors and the passage of time is inherently problematic

just walked past a guy whose shirt said PLINY THE ELDER huge across the back like a jersey

attention joann's shoppers. there is a freak in the yarn aisle buildinf a nest

You can only reblog this today! Next time Thursday 20 will follow Wednesday 19 will be in 2439!

(guy who hasnt ever seen anything) i dont know what that is. it kind of reminds me of nothing

honestly my favorite line from “Uptown Funk” is definitely “make a dragon wanna retire, man” because that’s honestly such a great mental image. an elderly, tired dragon taking a look at Bruno Mars and going “alright then, that’s my sign. time to let the young ones have at it.” taking out their 401k gold hoard. moving to a cave in Miami. collecting dragon pension

my leitmotif is about to fucking reprise

rb if you’re a bi bitch who loves carbs

oh fuck this is a really good hill i gotta die on this

rich people seeing mount everest

Bitches will find a fictional man attractive and then immediately imagine him in situations where he is losing alarming amounts of blood

i love the moon. i trust her. i’m glad we have her