My boys deserve good things

The isolation and alienation comes from people hating their own native languages and being so vocal (almost proud with others encouraging them) about it. Bet I am not the only who has see this. And I am sorry, but that just feel like hot bullshit. Why do you hate your own language that much? Why do you praise/treat like a better language English and English alone? Why do you say 'ew, a fanfic in my native language!" like that is a completely normal thing to say? I try to come with responses and their logic that aren't plain linguistic colonialism, but I can't. It feels alienating because I see it so. freaking. much. In Tumblr, in Discords, in Reddit, in Twitter, everywhere! Sometimes I have my lows and think 'man am I the wrong here? should I despise my own language, my own (literature) culture? everyone does it'. I respond with a 'no' obviously, since I keep writing in my native language and encourage everyone who approachs me to do it. That still doesn't erase the fact that seeing 'ew fics in my native language sucks!' comments in the wild are pretty demotivating and, to be quite honest, shitty, even if the people doing them aren't from my country.

This kind of feels like a consequence of how... imperialist (for a lack of a better word, sorry) the Internet has become in the past few years. Rather, the whole world, yes; and the Internet is just a part of it so of course fandom got affected by it. If it got affected by this puritanical, bigoted and radfem-y viewpoints, it was just a matter of time for this issue ('fics in English are superior/better in general/better to write/better to got numbers') to chime in. Damned 'globalization'. It was so fast.

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I hate it. I hate it so much. It’s been constant for decades (with the exception of a few languages like Mandarin). English isn’t special! Whatever century’s trade language can reach more people, but that’s it: it isn’t more beautiful, historic, nuanced, interesting, worthy, whatever.

And god is English not less cringey and terrible when it comes to words for dicks or squelchy sex noises or whatever else people find terminally embarrassing to write about. We native speakers had to get over it in order to write. Native speakers of anything can do the same!

Omg, I have some very similar experience like you, Anon, so maybe less tough. I don’t write nowadays (and yes, the main reason of it that I want to write in my native language, but I just realized that there are no readers and no community to write in the fandoms I’m currently in - and the older fandoms are also wastelands, at least considering my language), but I wrote a lot hundreds of fics in the last two decades and back then there were even readers on websites that operate in my language. I collected my old fics and uploaded them to AO3, and I have this strange experience: I got more comments from people who didn’t even know my language (from French, Northern and Southern American and British people mostly); they took the effort and put my little fics into Google translator and read them! And then even comment on them! Sometimes in English, sometimes in Spanish, sometimes they try my language with translator - and I’m just speechless and so happy about it! I mean I never believed it, how it can be even true! :D ♡

At the same time, I got fewer comments from people from my country and yes… half of them began like this: “Gee, a fic in Hungarian !” Or: “I’ve never thought there are fics in Hungarian so well written like this!” And mostly that’s it, that’s the comment… Fortunately, I didn’t get rude comments like you, but I remember that it was always the issue even in the past: many people just think only the English written fics can’t be any good and they are genuinely surprised when they at last once read a fic in their native language and it’s good. And I’m always shocked. I mean… why are you think that stories sounds good only in English???

There is this thing: I haven’t written anything in many years, I got a block and actually now I don’t want to force writing. The sad thing is that I had several ideas in the last few years and I’m always hanging on this edge: if I write in English at least I have community, some people to write, but I always feel I’m awkward in English and actually even take like 5 times longer to write anything (I’ve got like 7 unfinished English fics on my laptop… :/), and I had so so many ideas, but I’m stucked at this “I can write so much better in my language, but nobody’s gonna even read it, because hardly anyone read big and popular fandoms in my language anymore.”

Actually there is a big Hungarian fanfiction website which was (still is?) very popular, but for me it was shocking to see that writers uploading long and high quality fics and… zero people comment on them. And it wasn’t like that “in my time”. And nothing is better on even Wattpad, and AO3 is even worse. When I comment on fics in my language, 90% of the writers didn’t even answer (I wrote nice comments :)). I guess they are just so accustomed to not getting attention from Hungarian readers, that they don’t even check their notifications. And it’s sad.

Okay, maybe it’s not that bad as the thing you described, but not that good either. Every time I recommended some very good Hungarian fics (several published authors also write fanfics in my country, and they are stunning) in the past for people, I always got that: “English fics are better”, and even if they read the fics, they didn’t comment on them, because “Eh, why should I tell this author that I liked their fic, despite not being written in English? What a wild concept! They should write for themselves.” (I decided to write so much only for myself that I don’t even write the fics I want to read or write anymore, I just imagine them in my head and now I’m happy, thanks for your advice and support. :’)) Okay, it’s an other problem.

And it’s sad to see so much self-hate, I mean that people just think their own language is cringe and not worthy to create fanfictions in it.

But now as I read that native English speakers think sex scenes don’t sound better in English, I’m so glad, because we talked a few days ago with a mutual that explicit sex scenes are really better in English and terrible in our languages, or it’s just the magic of a foreign language? And it’s good to hear that maybe it’s not the English language itself, but the familiarity that matters. :)

I suppose part of it is that many fic writers do go on to learn English or another popular language well enough to do fandom in it, and then they stop writing in their first language (so the pool of fic is artificially full of stuff by 12-year-olds). But it has always seemed to me that a lot of it is totally unwarranted feelings of inferiority.

I’m sure the layer of remove does help, but yeah, it’s just a foreign language thing. It’s not special to English. All the things fans say about English also get said by native-English-speaking weaboos fumbling their way through learning Japanese. It’s just that way more people learn English, and they learn it to a far greater degree of fluency, so one hears these comments all over, including in English-language discussion venues where you have to be pretty good to even be participating.

told Chaucer that stories Just

Sound Better in French.

because how do you decide who gets to stay and who gets kicked out based on a cis woman’s trauma response? is it based on appearance? should intersex women with facial hair not be allowed because beards are triggering? should butches and studs not be allowed because masculinity is triggering? should tall broad shouldered trans women who don’t want to voice train not be allowed because low voices are triggering? is it based on identity? should a pre transition trans man who came out two days ago not be allowed because he’s a man? is a nonbinary person with a full beard and deep voice allowed because they are not a man?

i really really didn’t want to be in mixed gender groups. i was in a state of extreme hypervigilance like 99% of the time. i was having flashbacks and panic attacks at the drop of a hat. and you know what my therapist said when i asked if i could be in groups without men?

she said no, and that it would be a crucial point in my healing process to learn that men aren’t inherently dangerous. i was petrified, because i was twenty years old and in the worst mental health of my life, but i showed up to the groups and did the homework and sat next to the men i was scared of, and you know what? my therapist was absolutely right! getting to know those men in my groups was one of the most healing experiences i could’ve had, because i was forced to stop seeing them as a monolithic boogeyman and start seeing them as individual human beings! not to mention quite a few of them were also rape/sa survivors and therefore made up a safer and more understanding space than any of the non-survivor social groups i frequented.

i distinctly remember having an anxiety attack having to sit next to a guy i didn’t know in dbt group. i remember apologizing, because i did want him to know he didn’t personally do anything. he had vaguely similar features to my ex and in the state i was in at the time, that was a trigger. he told me it was okay, he totally understood because he was the same way with guys who looked like his dad, and then seat swapped me so i could have my back to the wall instead of the open room. just like that.

my ptsd physiology class was me and a bunch of big burly ex-military guys. i was feeling brave one day and piped up about how if someone touched me, i could feel it for hours after and felt like i needed 50 showers. this big bearded guy in a muscle shirt snapped his fingers and went, ‘dude, EXACTLY!!’ it led to a very educational discussion on dysregulation in individuals with ptsd and how your startle response just Doesn’t Wear Off, as well as all of us sharing/brainstorming ways to cope with that when it happened. we all learned a lot and me and that guy both learned we weren’t alone.

I have had to unplug everything from every outlet in my place. The electricity is on the fritz and outlets are sparking when things get plugged in. The electrician isn't available until the second of next month. I can't use the stove or the microwave or anything to heat food, so suggestions of shelf stable food that can be made without appliances would also be appreciated. (Also safe for those with a nut allergy)

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I have had to unplug everything from every outlet in my place. The electricity is on the fritz and outlets are sparking when things get plugged in. The electrician isn't available until the second of next month. I can't use the stove or the microwave or anything to heat food, so suggestions of shelf stable food that can be made without appliances would also be appreciated. (Also safe for those with a nut allergy)

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I have had to unplug everything from every outlet in my place. The electricity is on the fritz and outlets are sparking when things get plugged in. The electrician isn't available until the second of next month. I can't use the stove or the microwave or anything to heat food, so suggestions of shelf stable food that can be made without appliances would also be appreciated. (Also safe for those with a nut allergy)

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I have had to unplug everything from every outlet in my place. The electricity is on the fritz and outlets are sparking when things get plugged in. The electrician isn't available until the second of next month. I can't use the stove or the microwave or anything to heat food, so suggestions of shelf stable food that can be made without appliances would also be appreciated. (Also safe for those with a nut allergy)

Paypal

I have had to unplug everything from every outlet in my place. The electricity is on the fritz and outlets are sparking when things get plugged in. The electrician isn't available until the second of next month. I can't use the stove or the microwave or anything to heat food, so suggestions of shelf stable food that can be made without appliances would also be appreciated. (Also safe for those with a nut allergy)

Paypal

I have had to unplug everything from every outlet in my place. The electricity is on the fritz and outlets are sparking when things get plugged in. The electrician isn't available until the second of next month. I can't use the stove or the microwave or anything to heat food, so suggestions of shelf stable food that can be made without appliances would also be appreciated. (Also safe for those with a nut allergy)

Paypal

I have had to unplug everything from every outlet in my place. The electricity is on the fritz and outlets are sparking when things get plugged in. The electrician isn't available until the second of next month. I can't use the stove or the microwave or anything to heat food, so suggestions of shelf stable food that can be made without appliances would also be appreciated. (Also safe for those with a nut allergy)

Paypal

I have had to unplug everything from every outlet in my place. The electricity is on the fritz and outlets are sparking when things get plugged in. The electrician isn't available until the second of next month. I can't use the stove or the microwave or anything to heat food, so suggestions of shelf stable food that can be made without appliances would also be appreciated. (Also safe for those with a nut allergy)

Paypal

I have had to unplug everything from every outlet in my place. The electricity is on the fritz and outlets are sparking when things get plugged in. The electrician isn't available until the second of next month. I can't use the stove or the microwave or anything to heat food, so suggestions of shelf stable food that can be made without appliances would also be appreciated. (Also safe for those with a nut allergy)

Paypal

I have had to unplug everything from every outlet in my place. The electricity is on the fritz and outlets are sparking when things get plugged in. The electrician isn't available until the second of next month. I can't use the stove or the microwave or anything to heat food, so suggestions of shelf stable food that can be made without appliances would also be appreciated. (Also safe for those with a nut allergy)

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