ROUGH NIGHT

He was a native to Los Angeles. That had its perks. For starters, he could tell a good food truck from a bad one, had them catalogued in his head, had those strong, gut-wrenching reactions when he remembered the food poisoning from El Tacoritas. To be fair, the name should have tipped him off. Where was the authenticity? The only je nais se quois it had was the possible e coli. In spite of the name, Belly Bombz was one of the more superior ones on the block.

It wasn’t a minute that had gone by from the time he had placed his order to turning around to see a pig standing there, as if it was a sign of confession. The one standing next to it must have been its owner. What kind of fuckery was this?

“I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life,” he started, eyes still on the animal, “but this joint is known for its pork belly. So, I can’t tell if this is punishment or a lesson in cannibalism.”

teagan looked down from the stranger towards the pet pig, nodding their head for a moment before deciding, “why not both? i mean, his name’s bacon. his entire existence seems like a cruel irony.” don’t get them wrong--teagan loved the little shit to death. plus, it’s not like he had enough brain power to really concern himself over the details. 

crossing their arms teagan looked at the food truck. “i’ve come to realize drunk me and sober me have very different definitions of the word ‘edible’. i’m trying to decide where belly bombz is gonna land.” 

getting sober had been an uphill battle... but having a baby growing inside of them had been just the right amount of fucking terrifying to motivate teagan to get their shit together. now that things were said and done teagan wasn’t really sure what the future held... for now they were taking it one day at a time.

@teaganharper​

“Mazel tov!” He was already face-down on Teagan’s couch by the time they finally came back home, waking him up with a string of drool attaching his mouth to the cushion as he raised. His hand was still clasped around the neck of a bottle of tequila, not the cheap shit either. His eyes squinted, forehead crinkling from the amount of concentration he put into just focusing on their face. “Sober days are fucking over, dude. O-zone can’t get a third nipple now or whatever.” Did Teagan tell him the name of the baby? Seemed… familiar in some vague, watered-down way, the only thing coming to mind was something with O. Or was it A? Anthony?? Some fucking voewl. What did he look like? A Wheel of FOrtune contestant? FUck that. SpIn the wheel right up Sat Pajack’s ass.

The remnants of the alcohol circled around as the near-empty bottle was rolled in Teagan’s direction, bumping into their shoes. “Sorry about your door. That’s on me. Did not pass the baby-proof test.”

if there was anyone that teagan could be disgustingly honest with about what the hell their body had been through the past nine months, it would be simon. they were quick to spot the bottle of booze dropped by his side, snatching it from the floor and swiftly downing what little was left with a sour expression. “dude, that little bastard ruined my vagina,” teagan interrupted themself with a burp, pausing for a moment to make sure that it was in fact just a burp and they weren’t about to throw up everywhere from the shitty tequila they’d just drank. “--but the doc stapled me up nice and tight. my pussy feels like its twenty again.” so... all in all, they figured it was an even trade off. 

they’d noticed the fuck-up state of their front door but teagan hadn’t really cared. giving a half-shrug they climbed over simon so that they were sitting on the couch with him, more or less on top of his lower half. “lease is up in a month anyway. next asshole can deal with it.” with some effort they kicked off their shoes, one after the other, a low groan escaping them the movement. “you got any weed? i wanna get insanely stoned and watch cartoons.”

@teaganharper​

Ant had read a lot of things about open adoption in the last few months, and none of them had really prepared him for the reality. It was awkward, he couldn’t lie. Nothing had really warned them that not only would he be getting a son in the deal, he would also be getting a… sibling? A co-parent? A cousin? That was the worst part, maybe– That he had no idea where he stood with Teagan. He had no idea what Teagan even wanted to be. 

Even worse, what if they changed their mind? 

Ant shifted Oscar in his arms, wishing Cooper was home to be a buffer between Ant’s anxiety and reality. “Do you want to hold him?” he asked, immediately wincing. God, they had given birth to him, they could hold him any time he damn well pleased. 

“Sorry, I’m not– Obviously no one is used to this. I…” Ant huffed, fiddling with the blanket wrapped around Oz. “I am so sorry, I swear I’m not trying to be weird about this.”

from months ago teagan knew logically that giving the baby to anthony and cooper was the right decision. they’d be amazing parents, no doubt about that, and oscar would still have a relationship with his biological family... as much or as little as he wanted. but while teagan knew this was the right choice logically, they kept waiting for it all to click into place, for them to... feel okay? about the decision. for the guilt to stop. 

lying in that hospital bed covered in piss and sweat and blood, watching a nurse hold their son out of them expectantly teagan could only stumble over their words as they insisted she bring the baby to anthony and cooper instead, because right then it clicked. though they could love oscar, it would never be enough to make-up for the shortcomings they’d have as a parent. they didn’t have the patience, the courage, the wisdom. they”d be lost. they’d turn into their mother. giving oscar away had been a decision made from love, not fear, and though it would always sting a little when they thought of it, teagan knew things would be alright.

teagan realized ant was waiting on an answer. they let out a nervous laugh, “um. yeah.. i think. maybe for a few minutes.” ant seemed confident enough in handing oscar over that teagan in turn felt okay about the decision. they settled into their chair, careful as ever while looking down at him. “dude, it would be weird if it wasn’t weird.” teagan assured him, pulling their eyes away from oscar to meet ant’s. “but everything.. stands as is. bo and i still feel good about our choices.” their partner, and oscar’s father, may have been initially disappointed about the outcome--but in the end bo had agreed that neither of them were really cut out to raise a kid.

“i mean... no take-backs, man.” they joked half-heartedly.

“no—don’t!” ingrid was all sweet concern, wandering the halls lost while she followed the trail of belongings that had started at teagan’s room. what she assumed was teagan’s room. she could have gotten it mixed up. she knew the past few months hadn’t been especially kind to her friend, but she was determined to add to the good, not the bad. there was no reason to remind them of everything, especially when it seemed to be just under the surface. “‘i need you!” she held up the scene that she was in the process of blocking, really just a jumbled mess of papers from a distance. she’d come to rely on the comedians in her cast to help with the time of things. to write it was one thing, to see it delivered with perfect timing, that was the magic.

“but first, should we grab those?” she pointed to the trail of loose clothing, “i couldn’t figure out which direction you were moving.”

maybe with anyone else the explanation would’ve been merited; but ing was all too aware of the balls to the wall insanity that had invaded teagan’s life these past few months. the words had spilled from their mouth like vomit, and the taste it had left was just as bad. teagan squished up their face, their shoulders dropping with a large exhale. “fuck, kid. if you could toss me a rope i’d really love to use it to get off this crazy train--” they paused, then murmured, “or maybe just hang myself. that one seems easier.” they ran a hand through their bedhead, pushing back the unbrushed waves and finally looking at what ingrid held in her hand. “more scenes? dude, you know you’ve got like--90% of prometheus’ comedians stuck in this building with you. i’m sure almost any of them would be more helpful than i would.” 

they hated that it sounded like they were trying to wriggle out of this--they weren’t, really. aside from giving teagan something to do on these dreary days of lockdown, some of ingrid’s stuff was genuinely funny. teagan just figured that if ingrid wanted to go mainstream, she should probably start working with contracts who were a little more... fuck, stable? family-friendly? “okay. we follow my trail of underwear and then we read through more scenes. and then we are ordering take out and making more tiktoks mocking tommy.”

He wouldn’t admit shit to it, but seeing Teagan’s face gave him an internal sigh of relief. On the outside, though? Simon could play his normal role of asshole friend, giving them a look of glossed-over interest at the story that was given over. “What’s the big fucking deal? Were you using their toothbrush?” His expression tilted, finger raised before they could say anything back about it. “Hey, those electric ones…? I’m just saying… that might just be your birthday present.”

More than likely Teagan made it up. It was no secret they were concerned. Fuck, he was concerned, but there wasn’t anything wrong. So he forgot a few details? Whatever. It was the corona in the air. “Yeah, yeah. I sleep-jerk, so jokes on you.–Where’s your shit?” he asked, looking over their sides in search of their bags.

they perched an arm on simon’s shoulder, giving him a dubious look. “si, i’m a classy broad okay. i don’t masturbate with a toothbrush anymore.” teagan paused to think, then added, “unless i run out of batteries before they let us all get back to our actual homes.” they lowered their hand, giving simon a slap on the ass before answering his question. “just stuffed it all into your room. you weren’t there so...” they motioned around them to indicate the area, “figured if i wandered around i’d run into you sooner or later.”

 “so have you been as insanely fucking bored as i have? i think i’ve just about ran out of ways to keep my sanity.” there was only so much pot you could smoke before the inside of a bottle started looking a lot more appealing. teagan had done their best to stay relatively sober--something about the importance of not falling off the wagon again, bullshit, bullshit, blah blah blah. their friend bo had been the one to sell them the idea, that staying alert probably meant staying alive with whatever the fuck was going on in prometheus right now. “i was actually thinking about finding a way onto the window scaffolding to peep into the rooms. just to see who’s up to some freaky shit, y’know?”

they opened their mouth, then closed it. a sigh of exasperation. “okay, to clarify my last comment my mom punched me in the face on live television and i had an emotional outburst and tried to kill us and two other people in the room. it had nothing to do with, like, actual fucking.. just... a matter of speech..” teagan nodded, pointing a thumb in the direction they’d come from. “i’m just gonna go now.” 

“Fuck…” Once again, this wasn’t his floor in Cora’s safe house. He had had a fool-proof system in place to guide him in the right direction, too. “Hey,” he called out to the first person he stepped out to see down the hall before pointing to the wall that was opposite to the elevator doors he had just come out of. “Did you see some fucking nazi take down a sticker from here? Looked like a pile of shit with some orange hair stuck on it? And I mean an actual shit pile, not just Trump’s orangutan form.”

between the raised brow and the scrunch of their face, it was obvious teagan had no fucking idea what simon was going on about this time. “dude--what?” they asked in confusion, quickly deciding it actually didn’t matter and there were more important things to talk about anyway. “we can vandalize the place later, i’m sure rat-fucker-in-chief will give us plenty more to be angry about before our lovely little vacation is over.” teagan had spent the whole time looking for simon trying to find a way to tell him the news about them being roommates now; trying to find a way to make ‘hey bud, your memory loss is getting a lot worse and i’m fucking worried that you’re going to get hurt or get taken advantage of you and i’ve decided to put my life and well-being on hold to move in and be your new live-in babysitter’ not sound like exactly what it was.

in the end--teagan decided a lie would be okay. just a little one. “so. i may or may not have gotten caught masturbating by my roomie and may or may not have gotten kicked out. i decided it would be easier to just switch rooms than try to avoid eye contact for the rest of this... whatever it is.” they spoke fast, nonchalant. just another day in teagan-land, where shit like this happened all the time. “anyway! i totally promise not to let you catch me masturbating. i’ll put a tie on the doorknob and everything.” maybe it would be easier for him to accept if they didn’t phrase things as a request, if they showed him that things had already been taken care of. 

bo-yeun 'bo' lyang | 29 | C-LIST CONTRACT

bo might as well have ‘do not cast me as the lead’ tattooed across their forehead. despite being a part of several well known film franchises ( james bond, fast & furious, mission impossible, avengers, and star trek, to name a few ) they’re always typecast as the quirky sidekick. is it because they’re non-binary? maybe. is it because they’re not white? definitely. they’re a great actor--they’re a fucking amazing actor--they could act circles around 90% of these generic white guys but whatever!!! who cares!!! not them!! 

teagan loves bo, but they’re kinda a bleeding heart. bo is always going on about capitalism and environmentalism and so many other isms that just go in and out of teagan’s ears. bo’s a good person, teagan just.. wishes bo could turn that shit down a little bit sometimes. 

“Ugh… fuck my life,” Simon’s lips move, the sound involuntary, but it comes from the sharp pain to his head at the feeling of the sun hitting the back of his lids. He starts to stir, getting up to find himself on a bench next to his apartment complex, empty beer bottle obviously rolled out from his hand and smashed to the concrete below. Eyes squint up, seeing someone. He doesn’t know if they’ve been watching him or what, but what does it matter? “Morning,” he goes on, pushing himself up and forcing himself to sit up, although that’s easier said than done with a pounding head. “You going to help me buzz in or…. are we starting a gofundme to get my shit together?”

teagan had stopped short of the apartment building they’d been heading to, a familiar form spread out on a bench instead catching their attention. a hand rested on their hip as they looked down at simon, a brow raised. they tried to mask the concern on their face with amusement, quick to roll their eyes at their friend’s comments. “gofundme is pretty 2017. i think the world’s moved on from lost causes like us,” they joked, offering a hand out to help him up. “dude you look like shit. and you’re like, 100 feet from your apartment--you could’ve at least passed out inside.” teagan was supposed to come by to run some new material by simon, but it seemed that he’d forgotten. he forgot a lot of things these days, but it never really felt right to mention it. teagan knew they were both fighting their own demons, things they’d rather not talk about. they swallowed their concern, like always. “you need a shower.” a few seconds later teagan added, ” and i need a drink.” 

lucian chuckled slightly at their statement of confusion. he leaned against his hand as he looked at them. “i’ll never be used to living outside of the bells. i was just saying that you should stop staring at me eating me toast and should have a cuppa tea with me instead.” lucian explained as much as he could. “i mean i’m glad that you’ve told me this i think? at least to know in case.” when they asked about his name, he nodded quietly. “yeah… that’s the name everyone knows me by.”

he was one of the many actors who’d come into prometheus from another country’s entertainment industry--something that teagan would never be able to wrap their head around. life as an american was pretty shitty already, and adding a contract with promehteus was truly the cherry on top. they couldn’t help but ask the obvious question; “so what the hell made you come here?” their tone made it obvious teagan couldn’t fathom any good reason to make that leap, to throw yourself into cora fucking samson’s game expecting anything other than absolute failure.

“I can’t say I have, no. I’ve seen people get stuck in other compromising positions, however.” Cal smirked a little, though he was vaguely concerned now if they were as stuck as they claimed. He walked over to be more directly underneath her to assist in the catching if she did, in fact, fall. “I’ll certainly do my best. Perhaps if you jumped I could catch you as well?” He smirked at the last comment. “I’ll happily do so since I’ve been granted permission.” 

teagan grimaced at the suggestion, their stomach turning as they considered their limited options; it was either risking another concussion or going back inside and facing the paparazzi on the other-side of their apartment door. they let out a breath, taking a final look at the ground below them. “well if you don’t, just know i’m gonna take you out with me,” they joked uneasily, eventually saying fuck it and jumping as he’d suggested. jumping had definitely been the better option, if only because it took away the possibility of him getting knocked the fuck out by a piece of rusty metal. teagan let out a small yelp as they fell, eyes closed, expecting to feel the hard ground below them any moment now... only.. instead they felt themself collide with another warm body, arm’s managing to catch them against the stranger’s chest. they peeked open an eye, obviously impressed that he’d caught them. “shit... grope away cowboy, you earned it.” 

“Well, that’s certainly something I never saw in London. Tell me, does that kind of thing happen often here?” 

“what you’ve never seen a bitch get stuck on their fire escape before?” teagan called down at him, stuck a floor off the ground as they looked uneasily at the rusty ladder. “last time i did this i fell and busted my ass.” they explained, chewing on their bottom lip. “hey--if i fall, will you catch me? i won’t even get mad if you cop a feel in the process.”