thoth

me: *gets ignored once* me: 🤔 you know what i could do to stop this from happening? Isolate Myself And Never Speak To Anyone Again

have i ever shown u people my hand sofa

should be able to leave kudos on scientific studies. i liked your paper dude keep at it

sorry, Dr. Dude

Dude et. al.

need y'all to know that most academics have publicly searchable email addresses and this not only makes their day but they can put nice emails in their giant packets for applying for jobs or tenure. "hi i read your paper for a class and it was very helpful, im at xyz college and the class is blah with professor blah" is sufficient and ENORMOUSLY helpful

It seems that, once again, when you can't kudos, commenting is the way to go

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

“it’s not that deep” it’s not that shallow. now what

Do I wanna ask about the gas leak..?

love is in the air? wrong! gas leak AND weed smoke.

Please do not smoke weed right next to the gas leak it is a significant safety hazard.

don't worry! we have the gas leak in one room and the weed smoke in another. it's very secure 👍

You remembered to close the door to the gas leak room before you entered the weed room, right? Please tell me you remembered to close the door to the gas leak room before you entered the weed room

i love you semicolon. no one look at my 80 word sentence

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

"slut era" i say as i rot and decay in my bedroom and watch the years pass me by as i miss out on core experiences other people my age are having while i think about the past