Tea is Writing

The car brings them swiftly back to Seisoukan Apartment, where Niki supports a trembling Mayoi back inside. The drive has done little to bring any colour back to his face, and he hasn’t said a single word since leaving. Tucked against Niki’s side, Mayoi sinks his full weight against him with every step, the air between them filling with Mayoi’s irresistible scent. It’s mixed with the fruity after-hint of his shampoo today, and Niki fights with himself not to turn his head and inhale him.

He shouldn’t be thinking that way, considering Mayoi’s state, but his insides are twisting themselves in knots, and how good it would be to sneak a nibble on the tips of that soft swinging braid.

Niki’s stomach lets out a loud gurgle. He didn’t eat nearly enough of the food Rinne gave him, and if he doesn’t make something soon, he’ll be the one collapsing in the hallway. Or eating Mayo-chan.

Come to think of it, Mayoi hasn’t eaten a thing all day apart from that single, lonely Kit Kat. A nice, warm meal would put some colour back into his cheeks. Besides, no one deserves to go to bed without dinner.

“Hey, Mayo-chan?”

Mayoi doesn’t reply, but he does tilt his head in Niki’s direction.

“You hungry? It’s been a long day, huh? So let me cook you something to eat first—a Niki Shiina special; it’ll make you feel better for sure!”

Silence follows, their footsteps counting the passing seconds.

Figures. After today, Mayoi wants quiet, peace, and rest; he won’t want to spend a minute longer with another human being than necessary. His growing hunger tingling in his fingertips, Niki adjusts his grip, cursing that he forgot to swipe a few snacks from the table before they left. Regardless, he continues guiding Mayoi onward. Once Mayoi is safe, he’ll sort himself out.

Then Mayoi swallows, clearing his throat with a dry huff.

“Yes…please…” His voice is hollow and raspy. “Your food does always help…”

“Hmm? You sure?” Niki slows his step. “If you’re tired, I can take you straight back to your room. Mayo-chan’s wish is my command!”

Although Mayoi opens his mouth, no words emerge, but he does give a singular nod, and that’s all Niki needs. There’s not a lot he’s good at, but if he can cook, he can help, and he’ll be the best help Mayoi has ever had—one super duper extra revitalising dish coming right up!

Restraining himself from dragging Mayoi to the kitchen, Niki lengthens his stride, looping recipes in his head—maybe a nice vegetable udon broth, or a hearty potato stew, or a quick but nutritious stir-fry. No, not the stew—that’ll take too long. The udon, definitely the udon—the hot broth will warm Mayoi from the inside, soothing his nerves before he rests. Perfect!

While tables and chairs take up most of the kitchen’s floor space, a suspiciously stained two-man sofa and wooden coffee table sit at the end of the room opposite the kitchen area. Rinne dragged them into Seisoukan about a month prior, following what was supposedly an “unforgettable night out”, but no one from ES came to remove them, and that’s where Niki takes Mayoi, lowering him softly into the pile of fluffy cushions adorning the sofa.

“Sit tight, Mayo-chan!” Niki says once Mayoi is propped snugly in a cradle of cushions. “Chef Shiina is going to make you the most energising meal you’ve ever had!”

Mayoi stares at his hands, picking at a flap of loose skin on his knuckle.

That’s okay—if Mayoi needs to save his energy, he should save it.

Niki makes his way over to the cupboards where the ingredients are stored, rummaging through the topmost one to find the packets of udon before moving to the cupboard below to dig through the vegetable stores. Carrots and potatoes dominate the front line, and he shuffles them to the side, sniffing through their overpowering, earthy scent as he works his way back. Now where are the—? Ah ha! The shiitake he bought from the market the other day appear from behind a cabbage, freshly harvested and moist and perfect for Mayo-chan’s dinner.

After a short trip around the rest of the kitchen, Niki soon has all the ingredients and seasonings he needs to make a start on the meal, and he brings the vegetables to the sink for washing. However, as he fights to scrub a particularly stubborn piece of dirt from a carrot, the top of his head prickles, a breeze wisping through his hair like ghosts’ fingers, and he shivers, the hair on his forearms rising.

He looks up.

From across the room, Mayoi fixates on him. His lips are parted just enough to expose his teeth, serrated edges lurking through the gap, and light glints off his eyes from beneath the dark shadow of hair that frames his face like some haunted phantom child.

Niki grips his carrot tighter.

But it’s just Mayo-chan, and Mayo-chan isn’t scary—no scarier than the expression that appears on Rinne’s face when he’s about to tell Niki about a “great idea” he’s had.

“Hey.” Niki waves.

Mayoi squeaks, averting his gaze. “Ah! I’m sorry… I didn’t mean… Please don’t look at me!”

“Hmm? It’s okay! You want to see what I’m doing?” says Niki, returning to picking at his carrot. “I’m just getting these vegetables washed, and then it’s time to start cooking! We’re going to have some nice udon with fresh vegetables today! That sounds good, right?”

There’s no response, but that’s fine.

Niki finishes washing the vegetables and sets to chopping the carrots into slim, even slices. Soon the weight of Mayoi’s gaze returns, his entire being motionless like a cat ready to pounce. But Niki smiles at him, and Mayoi’s lips twitch into an awkward grin. It’s almost sweet, despite the uncanny stare, and Niki chuckles as he continues his work.

“Nearly done with the carrots now! Once I finish up the rest, we’re onto the best bit—cooking time!” The crisp scent of carrot grows stronger with every cut. However, the pressure of the knife in Niki’s hand grows faint, his fingers now nearly numb, and he fights to maintain his hold, carefully lining up the knife before each slice. Soon, soon—he just needs to hold out a little longer.

He continues narrating his process as he works, finishing up the rest of the prep and turning away from Mayoi to use the stove. However, he can’t resist the occasional glance over his shoulder to check on Mayoi, who continues watching him with that same unblinking focus. If Niki didn’t know Mayoi, the intensity on his face would be thoroughly unnerving, but Mayo-chan is Mayo-chan, and he can stare at Niki all he likes, so long as it makes him happy.

The aroma of earthy vegetables soon bubbles up from the broth and, leaving it to simmer, Niki returns to the sink to wash up the remaining utensils, then sets two bowls on the side, ready to serve.

“Two minutes, Mayo-chan! Then it’s time for our feast!” he announces. “Can you make space for me while I serve this up?”

At Niki’s request, Mayoi nods, his posture softening like resting dough, and he tugs at the cushions, moulding out space for a second person within his nest. Meanwhile, Niki makes the finishing touches to their dinner, and two minutes later he’s carrying a tray upon which two steaming bowls of vegetable udon sit, with lush green and vibrant orange decorating the broth.

Yum yum yum! It’s food time!

He sets the tray on the table and sinks onto the couch next to Mayoi, then hands Mayoi his bowl, who takes it gingerly, balancing it in his lap. Attempting to steady his shaking hands, Niki takes his own bowl, chopsticks readied for the attack.

“Itadakimasu!”

“Itadakimasu…”

Niki dives in. The contact of udon on his tongue is a rejuvenating haven of carbohydrate, and even though it doesn’t immediately still his hands, every colour in the room intensifies, like dye poured into an icing bowl.

“Niki-san, are you alright?” Mayoi asks quietly.

“Never better! This is delicious, and good food always tastes better with good company! Why do you ask?”

Mayoi nods towards Niki’s hand, still lightly trembling against his chopsticks.

“Oh, don’t worry about that! I have food now, so I’ll be right as rain again soon!”

Mayoi chews slowly, then swallows, tapping the ends of his chopsticks together. “Sorry… If I hadn’t—”

“Hey, hey, it’s not your fault! This is just part of my curse, so you eat that up before it gets cold. I’ll be upset if you let my skills go to waste.”

Silly Mayo-chan.

They continue eating quietly, apart from the clatter of chopsticks against their bowls—Niki’s bowl, in particular, as he shovels his meal into his mouth, every cell in his body begging for more. Hunger refines flavour, sharpening it like a knife against stone, and each bite slices through the fog in his head. Mayoi eats at a more human pace, plucking tiny, bite-sized portions from his bowl to nibble on, but he doesn’t put his bowl down, or stir his food in anxious circles which, given Mayoi’s state, is a compliment enough itself.

But that’s only natural; although Niki might be a part-time idol, he’s a lifelong chef, and what use would he be if he couldn’t find something to get Mayoi eating after his awful afternoon?

All too soon, he hits the bottom of his bowl and, after draining it down to the very last drop, pops it back onto the tray. It’s not enough to fully sate the grumbling emptiness, but at least he’s functional for another hour or two. As he sinks back into the cushions, his arm bumps against Mayoi’s. However, this time there’s no sudden jump, no drawing away, only a dismayed whine as the piece of carrot Mayoi had been holding drops back into his broth. In fact, Mayoi pays no mind to the casual touch of their arms as he sets to retrieving his carrot, his body angling into the natural dip in the sofa between them.

Fruity shampoo. Sweet nostalgia. A hint of freshly cut grass… That’s new—a cologne, perhaps?

This time, Niki allows himself a sniff—just a quick one. How does Mayoi always smell so tasty, even after all those hours working the event?

“Thank you, Niki-san…” Mayoi mumbles, and Niki pulls away, sitting straight. He definitely wasn’t smelling Mayoi, and he definitely wasn’t thinking of stealing a nibble of Mayoi’s hair, nuh-uh-uh!

Even so, it’s unlikely that Mayoi is thanking him for sniffing him (not that he noticed that—hopefully) so he must be talking about the now empty bowl he’s holding. Every bite eaten, bowl clean—result!

“It’s a chef’s pleasure to cook a meal for a friend! How was it? Did you notice the carrots? They’re a special variety called ‘F1 Red Samurai’! They only arrived last week; their harvest season starts in early summer, so I had to put in a pre-order with the farm to be one of the first!”

“They were delicious—the meal was delicious—but I actually meant…” Mayoi twirls his chopsticks in the bottom of the empty bowl. “Thank you for today…for being so kind to me…”

“Hey, it’s nothing. I’ll always look after you—you’re our precious Mayo-chan!”

Mayoi makes a strained sound, his shoulders rising defensively, the chopstick-tapping becoming more frantic.

But this small kindness is the least Niki can do after all Mayoi has put up with from him so far. Although he might not be half the idol Mayoi is, he can support him by being the best chef-friend he could wish for. That haunted, blank look Mayoi wore at the venue—Mayoi should never feel like that ever again and, as his unit mate and loyal friend, Niki will keep a closer eye on him from now on.

“You done with that?” Niki asks, taking Mayoi’s bowl and placing it on the tray. “Come on, let’s get you back to your room.”

Mayoi nods, and Niki takes the tray back to the kitchen area, quickly washing and packing away the bowls and chopsticks before returning to the sofa where Mayoi waits. He’s already standing, and doesn’t look like he’s about to collapse, which means no more holding Mayoi close as they walk, no more smelling him, no more warmth pressed into Niki’s side.

Oh well.

Niki leads the way out of the kitchen and into the corridor, but as he turns back to close the door, a cold, damp pressure presses into his palm, wrapping around his fingers like a melted ice pack. The texture doesn’t match, though—instead of smooth and hard, the touch is soft and somewhat bony—and a single glance confirms the situation; Mayoi’s hand grips his tight, and Niki freezes.

Okay. This is happening. Okay. Breathe.

“Ahh! Sorry! I’m sorry!” Mayoi attempts to pull away, but Niki is faster, clamping their hands together.

He’s not losing this chance.

“I don’t mind,” Niki says, tugging Mayoi along towards his dorm. “Let’s go together. You and me, Mayo-chan!”

“O—Okay.”

As they walk down the hallways towards Mayoi’s room, Niki doesn’t comment on the way Mayoi’s hand trembles in his grip, or the intermittent squeezes that bind his fingers like rice in a temaki; nor does he mention the flare of heat rising at the base of his neck, as though someone has ignited a cooking ring under his shirt and refuses to turn it off.

“This is yours, right?” Niki asks as they stop outside the door with Mayoi’s and Tomoya’s names clearly written on it.

“Mhm…” Mayoi doesn’t let go of Niki’s hand.

“Should I come in too?”

“Please… if it’s not too much trouble…”

“Mayo-chan is never trouble! And I’m happy to help. You’re probably ready to crash after today, hm?”

Mayoi nods, reaching his free hand into his pocket to grab his I.D. and swipes it against the lock. Following a short buzz, the latch clicks open, and he opens the door, leading them inside. The lights are off, steeping the room in darkness, except for the rings of light haloing the drawn blinds. Meanwhile, the air conditioning hums its greeting, the air pleasantly cool compared to the kitchen’s heat.

“Mashiro-san is away on a job this week,” Mayoi explains. “So it’s just me here now.”

As they pause in the genkan, Mayoi slips his hand free, leaving Niki’s starkly empty. But then Mayoi is leaning onto Niki for balance as he tugs off his shoes, pressing into his space, close enough that Mayoi’s breath teases against Niki’s neck when he stumbles as his shoe pops off.

This is new—good new. There are precious few people Mayoi trusts to lean on like this, and now Niki has made his way into the Chosen Few, like he’s a limited-edition cupcake at an exclusive bakery. Or is Mayoi the cupcake? He doesn’t smell too far off one…

Focus. Mayoi needs to get to bed and rest.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” says Niki, offering his hand once more as he steps into the room, and Mayoi takes it, letting Niki lead him towards his bed like a sleepy child. Mayoi’s bed features an elegant spread of reds and golds, thick pillows piled high against the headrest, and as Mayoi shrugs off his jacket, Niki pulls back the cover, arranging the pillows into a comfy, cosy cove for Mayoi to hide within. After laying his jacket neatly at the end of the bed, Mayoi burrows into the crafted refuge, curling around a pillow that he cradles to his chest, his knees tucked up almost as high, and he releases a shaky breath into the pillow.

Poor Mayo-chan—he doesn’t deserve to go through all this.

As he takes hold of the duvet to pull it up over Mayoi, Niki’s foot brushes against an object beneath the bed, and once he’s finished covering Mayoi, he bends down to check what it is. Two beady eyes stare back at him, belonging to a small, yellow stuffed bear. It watches him forlornly, with a down-turned mouth and threadbare stomach, and Niki pulls it out, brushing off the layer of dust coating its fur.

“This yours?” he asks, holding it up for Mayoi to see.

“I…” Mayoi stiffens, and he curls tighter into himself. “Mhm... she’s mine. She’s been with me for a long time now…” He swallows, fingers digging into the pillow. “You can laugh if you like—I’ll understand…”

Niki looks at the bear. The bear frowns back.

“What’s her name?”

Mayoi stares at both Niki and the bear, unblinking. Then, he says, “Kiiro-chan… or Ki-chan… Sorry—I named her when I was really young, so it’s a silly name and—”

“Ki-chan! Cute!” Niki holds Ki-chan in front of him, stroking what’s left of the fur atop her head. Mayoi’s lifelong companion, huh? Maybe she can cheer him up a little. Kneeling at the bedside, he pokes Ki-chan’s head over the edge of the mattress.

“Hello Mayo-tan!” says Ki-chan, waving her paw at him. “Your friend told me you had a bad day today, right?”

Mayoi looks slowly at Niki, then back to Ki-chan, and nods.

“Oh no!” Ki-chan covers her mouth with her paws. “Well, you have to feel better soon, okay? Niki-kyun will be sad if Mayo-tan stays sad for too long. He might not even want his dinner! What a tragedy!” she says, punctuating her sentence with a dramatic gasp.

For a long moment, Mayoi looks at Niki, a puzzled twitch in his brow. Then he giggles, reaching for Ki-chan, who leaps into his arms.

“Alright, I’ll be okay again soon,” says Mayoi, stroking her head with a single finger before bundling her to his chest. “And please don’t skip your dinner, Niki-san…”

“I won’t, don’t you worry about me!” Niki laughs, getting to his feet. How cosy Mayoi looks, all bundled up in blankets and pillows, hugging that tiny old bear. How easily Niki could reach out and stroke Mayoi’s hair, soothing him like an abandoned baby animal, but that would be a step too far; he’s not pushing his luck after how far Mayoi extended his trust to him already today. If he can approach, even put an arm around his shoulder without Mayoi jumping away from him, then he’ll take that for the privilege it is.

“Rest well, alright? And we’ll see each other tomorrow for practice.”

With one eye visible from within his cocoon, Mayoi smiles. “Mhm… See you tomorrow.”