𓆩♣︎ R1NAN0VA ♣︎𓆪

Been procrastinating on writing this, but the longer I don’t make obvious and publicly available the worse I feel soooo here we go.

Under the Blood Moon won’t be receiving any more updates and game development for it has ceased as of two months ago. Additionally, I won’t be making any more VNs, games, or updating past games. There are a couple of reasons why I’m quitting game development when it comes to leading projects.

Family. My Aunt and uncle, who I consider like parents to me, are elderly with multiple health issues and need fulltime care taker to help them with day-to-day needs. They’ve been getting by with help from other family members and even their neighbors, but it's abundantly clear that someone as to step in and provide more dedicated care, and I decided that it should be me. My Aunt and Uncle have done so much to help and care for me that I want to return the favor now. Which means my focus needs to shift to prioritize them over creative projects. 

Burn out/ loss of passion. I just don't want to continue working on it straight up. Ever since Repurpose was completed (maybe even before then) I’ve been burnt out and just sick of game development as a whole. But I keep putting myself in this position because It’s what I and others have come to known me for. But the sad truth is I hate, hate, HAAAAATTTTTE being in a position where I have to take on 100 different responsibilities and roles as an autistic person who gets overwhelmed easily. Especially when most of the stuff I have to do isn’t drawing, which is what I’m most passionate about, second to storytelling. When you’re on a team of basically just one or two people with outsourced help, it’s especially true. And even though UTBM is way smaller in comparison with only one love interest ( no, there was never going to be an Eden route) it still would have taken my partner and me like 2 years to make at the rate I was miserably going. 

No money. Sorry, but it's true LMAO. I want money to buy food, pay bills, afford nice things, or even to have my own place instead of having to live with a family member (in this economy its fucking impossible I know). I put so much love and hard work into my games, and I’m proud of them and glad people enjoy them, but it’s just not worth the effort anymore if I don’t get enough financially from it. I would have maybe continued working on UTBM for a little while longer, or at least till day 2 was finished, had I met my lowest patreon goal, but I never did. And I told myself I wouldn’t continue UTBM if I couldn't make at least that. If I were going to suffer through making a game, I would at least work on it and scale back elements for $300 a month. 

Relationship with Art. For the past year or two, I’ve just had a terrible view of myself and the art I create. I feel like my art isn’t as good as I want it to be, especially when I go long periods of time without picking up my tablet pen because I’m doing other game dev stuff. I also have just felt like art isn’t worth doing if I don't get x amount of approval points from doing it. I’ve also just been so horribly depressed these past few years because multiple immediate family members died, and I felt like game development robbed me of any time I could have spent with them. Sometimes I’ll spend hours a day being too scared or demoralized to draw before I either make an attempt or abandon drawing that day altogether. It just fucking sucks, and I want to be able to draw stuff because I want to, regardless of if it's bad, gets no attention, or some other third thing.   

So what now? Well, to make it clear this doesn’t mean I’m giving up creative works or even drawing as a whole. Rather I’m going to put my time back into being an artist and making comics and short-form content (like yt shorts/tiktoks/reels) that I can make much quicker and with less stress compared to games. 

I started a comic called “Contradictory Attractions” that features two familiar…. “Repurposed” faces that also take place within the Under the Blood Moon timeline.

Contradictory Attractions is a wlw/yuri comic following Noelle and Irene as heroes that slay blood creatures by day and night while navigating a situationship in-between. Can a young, masc asexual girl and a promiscuous """straight""" milf make it work? Or are they doomed before they can even start?

I have the first four pages of it available to view on tumblr, bluesky, instagram, patreon, and even on my new twitter if you want to follow along. 

Anyway. Thats all I can say for now. I’m tired and sad and hungry and spent all day just trying to write this. Seeya !