Star Boy

Unclear consent/hasty consent

All kinks carry inherent risk. Some have physical risks, some psychological risks, plenty have both. Trust your gut if someone seems too eager to dive into something without fully discussing every possible angle you can think of. Don't ever run into something when you could walk. In kink, you aren't just consenting to the activity, you're consenting to the risks which the activity carries. Don't do anything with anyone who doesn't seem to understand that distinction.

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Dynamics are a two way street

One of the most misunderstood aspects of kink is the core element of mutual effort. Generally, less experienced people assume that the Dominant is an active participant, while the sub is a passive one, who simply receives whatever the Dom decides, getting off in the process. While this might work well in a Dark Romance novel it is categorically antithetical to real life BDSM. On a fundamental level, BDSM is a collaborative effort. Both the dominant and submissive are active participants, both have to put forth a lot of effort, both in learning about kink and safety and in actual scenes. While a scene might focus on a sub being a pretty doll for their Dom, just laying there and getting off, that should not be reflective of your actual interpersonal dynamic whatsoever. If a submissive doesn't believe they should have to put in as much effort as you, that's reflective of an unwillingness to put effort into your dynamic or your scene with them.

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Boundaries/safewords for doms

Just like a submissive has to consent to everything you do, a Dom also has to consent to everything in a scene. If a sub doesn't respect your boundaries, pushes them without permission, or acts as if your boundaries aren't as important as them getting off go play with someone else

"I have no limits"/"I don't use a safeword"

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REFUSING TO HONOR A SAFE WORD IS SEXUAL ASSAULT

Subs can assault Doms too.

This is fake. Everyone has boundaries. Some people like saying this doing scenes for fun, which can be fine roleplay, but if they genuinely believe it about themselves they are not emotionally mature enough for kink and are an unsafe partner. Run away.

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"Doms don't need aftercare"

Fake. Run. Unsafe partner.

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"Kink dispenser"

Subs should not view you as just someone who reads their mind and tells them things to get them off. Your needs matter too and all participants in a scene should be attentive to each other's needs and interests. You aren't there just to do whatever they want to get them off the same way they aren't there just to do whatever you want to get you off unless you have specifically agreed that you're both into that AND that the scene is going to be about that.

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Mental Health, Aftercare, and Drops

Your mental health is just as important as your physical safety in kink. Any submissive you play with must prioritize your emotional well-being the same way you need to prioritize theirs. There will be times when you feel weird after or during a scene or even bad about yourself. Dominance is stressful. Yours truly was once in a particularly harsh impact scene as a rookie Dom, realized how rough the marks on their thighs were, and experienced a drop feeling like a bad person even though they had specifically asked for what I was doing to them. It's perfectly normal to snap back to reality sometimes and end the scene for your own comfort. In fact, it is unsafe for your own emotional health to Dom anyone when you don't feel up to it. The correct thing to do is to communicate with the sub, pause or end the scene as needed, get feedback, let them know you need reassurance. Its completely normal and valid. If someone doesn't want to reassure you, that's a huge red flag

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Final notes

There are many "Doms" that are bad actors or abusers. They crave power over others not to seek out a mutual consensual fantasy, but because they want to stop other people from saying "No" to them, and have nonconsensual control over their life.

There are also many "subs" who are bad actors or abusers. Some are thrill seeking with little care for their own emotional or physical well-being, putting themselves and their dominant at risk by refusing to learn about safety or respect others boundaries. Some dehumanize Doms, essentially treating them like jerk off machine that doesn't have boundaries or feelings or require any effort.

Any standard you hold for yourself as a dominant, about consent, about boundaries, about safety, should also apply to any submissive you play with. No exceptions. Both Dominance AND submission need to be continuously earned, not given. If someone thinks otherwise...

The pills prescribed long ago were collecting dust in the drawer. You threw the keys in there, too, as you do every day. A place like that would be easy to discover—yet you weren't worried he'd escape.

No, it appeared that he was having fun. Treating his loss of freedom as an eternal vacation. Wrapped up in his blanket, remote at hand, handcuffed to the bed. A new change to the ropes that hurt his poor skin. You had made sure to buy them with extra-long chains. That way, he could be as cozy as possible. (Even though he complained it felt like a leash.)

His eyes turned away from the TV the moment you opened the bedroom door. Perhaps it was merely your imagination, but you swore his eyes lit up a bit at your sight.

"Having fun? I see you're settling in just fine." Your lips turned upwards to a smirk. How you loved teasing him. The way he glared made you want to devour him. Getting defensive to prove you wrong, nevertheless helpless as ever.

He didn't even bother arguing this time. Rolling his eyes, crossing his arms. The chains rattling. His tongue clicking in feigned annoyance. Typical. "Why did you take so long? You're half an hour late."

You grin wider at the fact that he noticed. He must've been thinking about you the whole day. It was natural; you were his kidnapper after all. The one with keys to his handcuffs. Even so, it brought you some sense of sick, sadistic joy.

"Hm? Do you care, doll? Did you miss me?" You watched him tense up, a scoff leaving his lips.

"No... And stop calling me that. It's embarrassing."

You simply hummed in response. No intention of stopping. You changed into your pjs in the bathroom, the tiles on the floor speaking to you.

He was at your mercy. You could do anything to him.

A splash of cold water hit your face. Time to relax and de-stress with your toy. The job that provided you with wealth was incredibly dull. Good enough pay for you to be okay with its headaches.

As you patted your face dry, you considered a thought. Didn't you endure enough to deserve this? All your life, being on the sidelines, never fitting in, never belonging anywhere. Isolated, lonely—driving yourself fucking nuts.

The void won't consume you anymore.

You stand by the doorframe. Just staring at him like you had many times before. The walls reflecting his face in photos. Only after a minute did he begin to question. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Just admiring you, is all."

It seemed that his survival instincts were that of a marshmallow. Your crazed smile met with indifference. Given that he also knew he had a stalker but did nothing about it.

Utterly apathetic. No wonder how you easily captured him. Heh. Perhaps he had become numb to the world too.

You sat beside him, his eyes flicking to yours before going back to the show. Trying to ignore the fingers tracing the cold metal on his wrist.

"I'm trying to watch..." He mumbled.

Goosebumps covered his skin, your hand caressing his arm. It had been over a month, and his attitude remained unchanged. Always making up excuses but never directly rejecting you.

"Then watch."

You left him alone for a bit before sitting behind him. Arms around him. Giving him a bear hug. "Mmph... you're crushing me..."

"I missed you, y'know. I was thinking about you the whole day. How you've been behaving sooo well~"

You buried your hands in his hair, feeling him shift back to your chest. Huffing, pretending your deliberate, sultry tone didn't affect him, suppressing the shiver down his spine.

"Okay...? Whatever. I hope there's a reward for that or something."

His tense body melted to your touch. Trying not to show that he liked you petting his head, scratching his scalp. Though his breath hitched and his eyes closed.

He reminded you of a cat sometimes.

A smile spread across your lips. He was oh so weak to your touch. A quiet whimper buzzing from his throat. Yet another cute thing about him.

"I was thinking I'll undo the cuffs."

"No!" He flinched suddenly, taken aback by his own response, looking back at you with wide eyes. "I mean... aren't you worried I'll escape? That's a dumb thing to do!"

You'd seen him run, and well, he wasn't one of the fastest people, to put it lightly. Neither had the upper body strength when doing something basic like groceries. Though you couldn't say that out loud, or he'd start pouting.

"I don't think you want to leave. You haven't even asked me to untie you since I've bought you ice cream from that truck you like."

"No." He stubbornly refused. The only reason he'd complain about the bindings was so you'd help him stretch and ultimately touch him more. He didn't actually want to be free. "You can't do that for at least three months into this thing. It's not logical."

You snickered. "Are you an expert on kidnapping or something?"

"I did my research when I knew I was being stalked. Unlike some people."

"Riiight. Like leaving your curtains open or forgetting to lock your doors. Such a good idea~"

You turned your focus on the hug. Going back to drawing patterns on his head. Taking a strand of hair and bringing it to your nose, inhaling the shampoo you washed his hair with.

"Femcel..."

Pretending you didn't hear that, you continue. "Your hair is getting long. Should we cut it? Or do you want to grow it out? Which do you prefer?"

"Aren't you supposed to make these decisions for me? Since I'm your stupid toy." He sighed dramatically. Basically saying you could do whatever you want with him. "Now, can I watch?"

Taking things a bit further, you started to plant light kisses on his neck. His head tilting, giving you more room. Gasping when your tongue darted out to wet a spot. "N-no fair... I can't focus if you do that..."

"I have to mark my possession some way..."

He whined as you continued to abuse that spot. Sucking a mark that would be there for days. One of his eyes closed, head against your shoulder, trying so hard to control his noises. The hand running up and down his thigh not helping a bit.

"Nngh, why are you always teasing me?! You get me all worked up, so then I have no choice but to beg for more. It's annoying!"

Giggling, your embrace only grew tighter. Squeezing him like a squishy toy. "Aww, dolly~ You're just the cutest, aren't you~?"

"Nooo..." Chains shook as he was crushed in your arms. The lack of air left him gasping, moaning in your ear. "I can't breeeathe."

"That's too bad."

"Pleaaaase—"

The magic words were said. You relished the moment before letting go. Arms still around him, just not as suffocating as before. Gazing at his cheek dusted with pink, then at the hardness in his pants.

A light bulb turned on.

"...Stop staring." He pouted. Squeaking when you captured his lips for a kiss. Your hand leaving his hair to grab his throat. The other grazed his inner thigh, barely poking the bulge. "Nngh... fuckkk... stop that... just touch it already!"

You clicked your tongue mockingly. Pressing your thumb harder against his pelvis, not nearly close enough to where he wanted.

"You're gonna have to ask a bit nicer than that. Remember last time..."

He went red in the face at the memory. Biting his lip in shame. "It was humiliating. I don't wanna do it again."

"Fine then." You let go of him. Going so far as leaving the bed. Seeing a wave of panic flash in his eyes.

"No! Wait. C'mon! I'm your plaything. Aren't you supposed to use me how you like? Why do I have to beg for stuff?"

"One last chance."

Like a little puppet, you were able to control him. A smug smile on your face. Boring your eyes into his glaring ones. You'd give it another 5 seconds.

"Better get me takeout after this..." He whispered under his breath before exhaling a deep breath. "Please... Please touch me."

"Not good enough."

The dirty look he gave you was cute. Fisting the sheets beside him, voice turning higher. More desperate and whiny. "Pleeease, I'll be good. I'll be your good boy. Please help me mommy. I need youuu."

His thighs rubbed against each other for relief. Arousal clear from the way he grinded down on the bed. Absolutely no self-control.

"Mmh, sure. I'll take it."

You yanked his pants down, earning a yelp from him. His cock springing out, hard and wet, dripping with precome. Greeting you with a twitch. "Ugh... It's spilling everywhere. Please clean me up mommy, please..."

"Of course, doll."

He whimpered when he felt your tongue licking up his length. Not able to keep the eye contact. Body tensed up as you traced a circle on his tip. Taking him slowly in your mouth. He began involuntarily squirming, pulling the handcuffs, shaking the bed.

You held down his hips, preventing him from moving away. It didn't help. His hips pulling back. "Mmh... You need to relax. I told you this before too. Calm down."

"I know. I know. I-I'm trying... not to finish too fast." He looked at you with a pout. Blushing when you awwed and hugged from the side. Squishing him firmly. "Nooooo, not againnn. Don't laugh at me..."

"I'm sorry~ Relax, though, okay? You're allowed release... you have my permission."

"I—Hnngh..." A hand wrapped around his marked throat, the other fisting his cock. Squeezing both while moving one up and down—stroking his hot private, burning in your palm.

Thumb rubbed back and forth to smear the liquid oozing from his tip. Changing your pace to relentlessly fast. "I'm so close..." His voice was quiet. Interrupting himself with a loud moan. The way you clutched his neck— restricted his air—made him all the more sensitive, dizzy.

Hot pants fanned his cheek, you latched onto his earlobe. Tugging it between your teeth. Voice hoarse as he tensed up. "Mmh... fuck... mommy! Ahn!"

His come stained the sheets. Contrasting with the grey bed. He seemed to be in a daze. Hands shakily grabbing your thighs around him. Leaning into your chest, face nuzzled into your neck. Relishing in your scent.

"Thank you..." He mumbled.

Your clean hand went to pet his hair. Stroking his delicate skin. "My pretty doll. You're all mine forever, okay?"

"Okay..."

"Such a good boy." You placed a soft kiss on his lips, holding him closer. Cleaning off your fingers from his salty release—the delicious vulnerability. Waiting for him to catch his breath before speaking again. "Whenever you're ready, I'll uncuff you, and you can take a shower."

He sighed pitifully. "You're not gonna wash me yourself? Please?"