Cause Mayhem

Tiq and Kim Katrin Milan are relationship goals.

The two activists met on Facebook and exchanged 3,000 messages in 72 hours. Three months later, they got married on the steps of City Hall in Manhattan. As a trans man raised in a society that told him he was unworthy of love, Tiq says that “sprinting towards her hand in marriage was the queerest thing that I could do.” 

In their vital and vibrant TED Talk, Tiq and Kim share their vision of love as a tool for revolutionary change. They know that their relationship is not a typical marriage. “We quickly realized that our coming together was more than just a union of two people, but was a model of possibility for the millions of LGBTQ folks who have been sold this lie that family and matrimony is antithetical to who they are – for those of us who rarely get to see ourselves reflected in love and happiness,” Tiq says.

“What we do here is we create entirely new languages of love,” says Kim. “Ones that are about creating the space for us to be our authentic selves and not imposing this standard of what masculinity or femininity is supposed to be.”

Zoe: I don’t need you to sell me on reasons to want you I don’t need you to search for the proof that I should You don’t have to convince me You don’t have to be scared you’re not enough ‘Cause what we’ve got going is good I don’t need more reminders of all that’s been broken I don’t need you to fix what I’d rather forget Clear the suede and start over Try to quiet the noises in your head We can’t compete with all that So what if it’s us What if it’s us and only us And what came before won’t count anymore or matter Can we try that? What if it’s you and what if it’s me And what if that’s all that we need it to be And the rest of the world falls away What do you say?

Evan: I never thought there’d be someone like you who would wnat me

Zoe: Well…

Evan: So I’d give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go But if you really see me If you like me for me and nothing else That’s all that I wanted for longer than you could possibly know So it can be us, it can be us And only us And what came before won’t count anymore or matter We can try that

Zoe and Evan: It’s not so impossible

Evan: Nobody else but the two of us here

Zoe and Evan: ‘Cause you’re saying it’s possible

Zoe: We can just watch the whole world disappear

Zoe and Evan: Til you’re the only one that still knows how to see

Evan: It’s just you and me

Zoe: It’ll be us, it’ll be us And only us And what came before won’t count anymore