Charlie is drunkenly revising the third draft of his thesis on proper care and feeding of greenhorns when his family owl slams into the window.Ā
Three of his friends jump and look around.Ā Glinda doesnāt raise her head from her folded arms; only groans, āIs that Baines coming to do me in?āĀ
Charlie totters to the window and fetches Errol from the window pane.Ā āNo such luck,ā he says. āYouāre still going to have to take the exam.ā After some consideration, Charlie lays him on a clear patch of floor to recover. āDo owls take firewhiskey?ā he asks the room at large.Ā
āItās not fair,ā Glinda wails into the tabletop.Ā āI swear he didnāt say anything about Bridgewortās handling practices when we did the review in class.āĀ
āOh, Merlin,ā says Ali, freezing over their notes like a Medusa wyvern had bitten them.Ā āOh, Merlinās sweet saggy socks. Is he covering Bridgewort?āĀ
āThatās what he said when I went to his office hours.ā Glinda sits up. āYou know his lapdragon singed my new sweater?!āĀ
Charlie decides not to give Errol a nip of whiskey. Flying under the influence is really not done. He unties the letter from Errolās leg. Ronās childish spiky handwriting spells out Charlieās name on the front. Inside is a hastily scrawled message.Ā
āYes, we know it ruined your sweater,ā snaps Ysabelle.Ā āYou told us twenty times. Why didnāt you tell us Baines told you weāre going to be tested on Bridgewort?āĀ
āI meant to,ā says Glinda.Ā āSorry.ā She flicks her pile of notes.Ā āI was lost in the miasma of gloom and desperation.āĀ
Ali puts their head back and groans.Ā āIām gonna die. Iām gonna say āfuck itā and just fucking walk into a dragonās mouth so I donāt have to do this.āĀ
āHey,ā says Charlie. They donāt hear him.Ā
āHow much is this worth again?ā Glinda asks her bottle of butterbeer.Ā
āTwenty-five percent,ā Ali and Ysabelle chorus. Ysabelle adds,Ā āand the thesis is fifty percent of our total grade.āĀ
āHey!ā Charlie repeats. They look at him. He waves Ronās letter.Ā āMy littlest brother at Hogwarts has an illegal dragon he needs to get off campus. Anybody up for a midnight flight?āĀ
Ali slams their hands down on the table and stands up.Ā āFuck yes,ā they say decisively.Ā āMaybe Iāll fly into the Whomping Willow and die a quick death.āĀ
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