Oh my god I murdered George Washington
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@tattletaylor
Oh my god I murdered George Washington

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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staff member getting dunked on by one of their favorite bands you love to see it
kind of amazed at how much they've stepped up the girl murder here in the last couple of days like they're really going for it now, i feel like i say that every couple of weeks but fucking hell
what if we kissed on Penis Trail in the abandoned town of Centralia, Pennsylvania
Sorry—Centralia, Pennsylvania? Centralia, Pennsylvania, which was abandoned because a fire that started in a garbage dump lit a coal seam beneath the town, causing a subterranean fire that has been burning for decades, undermining the land, causing deadly sinkholes, building collapses, and eruptions of toxic gas? That Centralia, Pennsylvania?
baby, my passion for you smoulders undying like the coal seam under the penis trail in Centralia, Pennsylvania
To a certain extent I get that sexual orientation is socially constructed but I need you all to understand that lesbians still exist and no we will not fuck men or be attracted to men. Im sorry but its the exact same shit as "well gender isnt real so trans people are actually regressive"
And I do notice how this line of logic is used to devalue the existence of lesbians and not nearly as much for other sexualities.

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yesterday my grandma found a penny on the floor and said to my grandpa “there’s that penny again, pa!” and i absolutely lost my mind because i couldn’t shelve the thought of a single panel Far Side comic of two old people on the front porch in the middle of nowhere and a giant penny angrily and inexplicably rolling through the wastes
“there’s that penny again, pa!”
this is hands down my single favorite post ive ever made that got notes
Trump won because he’s the first president to ever understand that pro wrestling is real.
It’s not a shitpost! And you hit every point dead on!
My grandma just called and, among other things, said “You have hips. That’s good! Men like hips!” and then she interrupted herself to say “Women like hips. People of your preferred gender like hips. I can never remember” And I was like “Thanks grandma! My preferred gender is none of them, no thanks.” and she was like “Okay, no one will comment on your hips!” very self satisfied, like “aha, I have figured it out” I think like half her grandkids are some variety of not-straight and she can’t always remember which is which but she is the epitome of like “she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit!”
Update: I gave it some thought and my estimate was wrong. Of the grandkids that are out, it’s 1/3, not ½
I told my grandma that I’d told my friends about what she said and that some of y’all had said you wished she was your grandma, and she said “Well, you can never have too many grandkids!” So like…consider her your honorary grandma* I guess? *if you want an honorary grandma, that is
Update on my grandma: I told her my hair was standing up, but instead of straight line it was diagonal and she said “That’s okay, you’ve never been straight!” and then laughed so hard at her own joke I thought she was going to drop the phone
Happy almost pride month! Have my confused-but-supportive grandma!
An update: my grandma just called me to ask if I knew it was pride month
Happy pride month!!
you're just mad because you're hungry and tired and your legs hurt and you head hurts and you're too hot and you have depression

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No more waiting, no more debating, go get your hrt. "I don't know if I'm really trans!" You are. Now go. "I'm scared!" We all were. Now go. "There's a long wait to be seen!" Go get your name on the list then. DIY if you need. "What if my friends don't accept me?" They weren't really your friends. Now go. "What if my spouse doesn't accept me?" Get a divorce. Now go. You do not need to continue to live in agony and depression to pretend to be someone else. Go get your hrt.
I'm working on a client report and my CEO looked over it and asked how made it. I asked him if he meant, like, the graphs and he said "No this whole thing is really nice with the text and the images put together so well. Did you use an AI tool or something to arrange it like a book?" And I just have him kind of blank look and said "No, I've been doing print layout and design for twenty five years. I'm building this as a template we can use with other clients that will just need images dropped in. And the graphs are all screenshots from tools we already use."
And then he gave me kind of a blank look and said "Okay, that is. Very good to know."
I suspect I've unexpectedly solved a problem that I was unaware of.
estradiol give you a +2 cuteness bonus that grows over time. prog sorta acts as a multiplier and also increases crit chance.
Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.
The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there
Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.
And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.
we took your stupid “golden retriever boyfriend” and trained him properly now she’s a puppygirl on estrogen

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Mafia boss smoking a cigar: Why’d you gotta squeal, Squealin’ Stephen? I trusted you. Now I gotta send my best goons to show you what happens when you cross the Big Boss…
Guy tied up in chair: uh…theres just one guy over there.
Mafia boss: Yeah. That’s Lil’ Tony. He’s got one of dem conditions where he’s got multiple mooks n’ his head. But when Big Tony fronts you’re gonna be in big trouble.
Lil’ Tony: We actually all agree we’re gonna kick your ass.
it's not frequent enough to be considered a meme or a trend, but I like how every so often this site gets a new "woke mafia boss" variation.
Thinking about a girl I grew up with who spun her dog's fur into yarn, then knitted gloves out of the yarn and how all the other kids made fun of her mercilessly for it.
And how she's now used those gloves for over thirty winters and each time she puts them on, she gets to pet her beloved dog's fur even though Ginger is long gone. And how even though her bones have long since been swallowed by the earth, Ginger is still protecting her owner from the cold.
Just an ancient pact, passed down from the earliest dogs that slept beside humans to keep us warm, continuing on for decades after one of their deaths.